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Never wanted to be around kids, find babies repulsive and would have been a terrible parent. It never changed and at 69, I am still relieved every day that I never changed.
Me too. But I bet you have a big soft spot for baby animals, like I do. I can barely make myself leave the big cages with chicks in them for sale this time of year.
I expected to have children some time and thought about it but only in the sort of vague, abstract way someone with little experience can.
The Vietnam War interrupted my college education so I was twenty-six when I graduated. And also pregnant. Now that was good timing! It was in the early years of the pill and I had had some concern about side effect reports.
All my focus had been on education and finding a job so it was miserable timing for me. Everyone else was ecstatic. So my big decision was whether to terminate or to birth.
I was pro-abortion at the time. That's what we called it then. But I've never had the heart to terminate anything. Not even a book I'm reading. LOL Always too curious to see what happens next.
And I've always felt sure that whatever the task I take on I'll be able to do it. Sometimes that's been a mistake but it wasn't in this case with all the support I had.
After nearly fifty years of having children with all the worries, pains and joys that involved there is nothing I can say other than that I've been grateful that my choice was good and that I've gotten to know a pair of interesting and surprising humans.
And the first time that not-so-pleasant fifteen-year-old said to me, "I didn't ask to be born!" I answered, "Who does?"
We're family and they know I will always be there for them when they get stuck. The hardest part for me was learning to allow them to get stuck.
I wanted kids, or at least one. I wanted to raise a kid better than I was raised and correct the major mistakes of my parents. I never got the chance. My brother, on the other had, has an adorable daughter who will probably need therapy because he never learned anything from our childhood and how to stop the generational curse. It's such a shame. All I can do now is try to be a good Uncle once she needs me, which isn't now (yet). I also just wanted to enjoy watching them grow, mannerisms, seeing their personality develop, influence them in positive ways, etc. What every parent wants, I would imagine.
But the why is easy. I mean ... did you not have at least partially a good time with your family? Well, if so, then why not have a family of your own? ...........
No one ever asked me, so even if that statement is true, it still doesn't necessarily apply.
Me too. But I bet you have a big soft spot for baby animals, like I do. I can barely make myself leave the big cages with chicks in them for sale this time of year.
Me three. We aren’t that rare. But your question was directed at people who did have kids.
I never thought about it until after I married and it’s more a maternal gene! Yea, this coming from someone who didn’t play with dolls or any desire for dolls.
I absolutely adored being a mother and a sahm. That said I don’t feel people who choose not to have children should be told they are missing out . Life and love can be shared in so many unique ways and some of the most loving and devoted role models in my life were childless aunts. Honestly it’s like comparing apples and oranges. There is room for all kinds of love in this world.
I agree with Renee, having children doesn’t always equate into knowing the kind of love a parent has, because if that’s the case it’s not the kind of love I got from mine. My ex son in law obviously wasn’t blessed with any awe and joy at being a father, my grandson is just an inconvenience.
I never thought about it until after I married and it’s more a maternal gene! Yea, this coming from someone who didn’t play with dolls or any desire for dolls.
I absolutely adored being a mother and a sahm. That said I don’t feel people who choose not to have children should be told they are missing out . Life and love can be shared in so many unique ways and some of the most loving and devoted role models in my life were childless aunts. Honestly it’s like comparing apples and oranges. There is room for all kinds of love in this world.
I agree with Renee, having children doesn’t always equate into knowing the kind of love a parent has, because if that’s the case it’s not the kind of love I got from mine. My ex son in law obviously wasn’t blessed with any awe and joy at being a father, my grandson is just an inconvenience.
Thank you. Different people are good at different things, including parenting.
No one ever asked me, so even if that statement is true, it still doesn't necessarily apply.
Sure, I'm in that boat too, more or less. Though I think there was one chance I had.
I understand why women can't be on the fence about this sort of thing.
Women like my sister just get so nuts about her kids, it's like the only thing that matters. Our mom wasn't like that lol. So women who were not able to have children may feel like they're really missing out.
As with so many things, perception is from extrapolation of personal experience.
Does one celebrate the fact that one was born? Then perhaps there’s merit in trying to have children, passing on the gift, as it were. Does one instead regret having been born? Then it would be cruel and duplicitous to pass on the curse, by participating in the formation of new human life.
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