Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yeah, I've come to realize that this is far more about interpreting what people mean as opposed to what they actually say.
When they say "Let's do something else, I don't like doing the same thing all the time," what they really mean is, "I don't much care for this particular thing. End of story."
It's like a guy I used to know who joined a group and kept saying he had no time to devote to it. But people who knew him well said he spent a lot of time watching TV and playing video games. So he had plenty of time, he just didn't care about the group nearly as much as he claimed.
Yeah, I've come to realize that this is far more about interpreting what people mean as opposed to what they actually say.
When they say "Let's do something else, I don't like doing the same thing all the time," what they really mean is, "I don't much care for this particular thing. End of story."
It's like a guy I used to know who joined a group and kept saying he had no time to devote to it. But people who knew him well said he spent a lot of time watching TV and playing video games. So he had plenty of time, he just didn't care about the group nearly as much as he claimed.
I agree. That would be the end of the story for that particular activity. The beauty of allowing our friends to speak their minds freely is that one day we may want to say the same thing about an activity we don't particularly care for.
Yeah, I've come to realize that this is far more about interpreting what people mean as opposed to what they actually say.
When they say "Let's do something else, I don't like doing the same thing all the time," what they really mean is, "I don't much care for this particular thing. End of story."
It's like a guy I used to know who joined a group and kept saying he had no time to devote to it. But people who knew him well said he spent a lot of time watching TV and playing video games. So he had plenty of time, he just didn't care about the group nearly as much as he claimed.
I don't see the hypocrisy here that you do. In your OP, people complained about playing Game X all the time, not that they hate playing the same game all the time. They complained that a certain restaurant is too far, not that they won't drive that distance ever for anything. And in your example above, the guy said he had no time to devote to that particular group, not that he had no time for anything (like, he may have spent enough time watching TV and playing video games that he no longer had time for the group).
If we had to get called out on this all time as if everything should have equal priority, there'd be a lot more strife in the world. Imagine the friend or family member who always wants you to do something for them, if they decided that you should be equally available for what they want you to do as for what you actually want to do (actually, it seems we see a number of posts here about precisely that scenario, and the person in it is never happy about allowing someone else to prioritize their time for them).
People decide how much a thing is important to them, and some things are more important than others, and that's okay (except, usually, to the one who ends up lower on the person's priority list).
It's human to be inconsistent and maybe even not logical at times. Sometimes, the experiences is more about complaining/picking at different things until something seems right, and that process includes changing minds depend on mood and experience, etc. It's subjective and about how a person feels about something at the time it is considered an issue, and experiencing those changes and "going with the flow" is all a part of life normally.
Well and while I know you were trying to get at the psychology of what you perceive to be some form of hypocrisy or inconsistency... When it comes to games, there are actually other elements to it besides repetition vs. novelty, or how much people do or don't even have fun playing game X or Y.
I used to be part of a monthly social game night. And every single time, Cards Against Humanity got trotted out. I had a massive set I'd bring in case anyone wanted to play, which I'd curated for the group. (Less racism, more dirty/sex jokes...I had so many cards they wouldn't fit in the biggest box I could get, so it only made sense.)
Well. Does that mean everybody just loved that game so much? Not really. Eventually you get used to the jokes, and it's pretty meh, honestly. But the thing about it was, it's easy to learn, easy to leave the game and enter the game halfway through (which is great for an event where people will perhaps leave early or show up late throughout the night)... And it's sociable and basic enough for those drinking to enjoy.
Some of the board games people would bring were pretty intimidating to get started with, like you sit there looking at this huge box with a bajillion little pieces and tokens, like..."this looks complicated." Not to toot my own horn, but I'm of at least reasonable intelligence, and even I feel put off by investing that much mental energy, not to mention how many distractions there will be with a bunch of people in the room chattering while I'm trying to learn how a complicated game works!
Then there is the one dude who brings his game system and hooks it up and is generally not thrilled when folks are not lining up to play video games and to watch other people play video games. I don't think he groks that most show up to that particular event to socialize in a small group, in a way that at least 5-10 can participate at once in the same activity. And most of us neither want to watch a person flail around with a VR headset on, nor be watched flailing around with a VR headset on... So. /shrug
It's not that the games these others bring are objectively less fun or good, than Cards Against Humanity. It's more, I think, a social dynamic that is influencing the group to take the path of least resistance. But if they were rejecting someone's game that was brought, no one wants to take the time to try and explain all of that. Some might not even be consciously aware of it.
Sonic Spork, some of what you mention above applies directly to my games group as well, especially the part about repeating games due to how easy they are to teach, etc. I just found it noteworthy that for some games they specifically cite repetition as a problem, while for others they gravitate towards them over and over with no issue.
As I've already determined, this is no doubt due to personal preference, and the real issue here is the words they use vs. what they actually mean.
I may not have used the best other examples in my earlier posts. Sometimes it's hard to convey exactly what happened in a few sentences.
For example, I didn't mention that the guy who "didn't have time" for the group he joined was a board member and thus expected to show up far more often, and show more responsibility, than a regular member. To say you don't have time for that, when you have plenty of time for video games, is to not mean what you're saying.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
