Have you been alone for any amount of time? (dating, girlfriend, emotion)

[Bretrick]

As I rouse from dreaming about intimacy, I groan as I roll onto my side and look at the unused pillow beside me.
My hormones telling me that I have been too long without human contact.
I am not craving intimacy with a stranger.
I long for skin to skin contact with someone I can connect with on many levels.
Alas I made a conscious decision to live life alone, foolishly telling myself I do not need intimate human contact.
All my life I have slept alone. Waking every morning by oneself I realise now has had a mildly negative effect on my self esteem.
When the decision was made by me to shun people it was on the back of years of use and abuse to the point where it was imperative for me to block people out of my life.
I now have some semblance of control of my emotions. I can now differentiate between those who want to harm me and those who simply want friendship and benign human interaction.
So here I am, sleeping single in a double bed, craving intimate skin to skin contact but it seems I am destined to remain alone for the reason that prolonged interaction with someone still has the tendency to drive me a little bit crazy.
After a relatively short while I have the urgent need to get away. To run away and hide from the world at large.
A paragraph ago I wrote I now have some semblance of control of my emotions, the operative word being, "some". I do not have control of my emotions, I have, "Some semblance of Control".
I think one of the worst things about being single when you don't want to be is that people are shamed for expressing loneliness.
Everyone has needs, wants and desires and it is the decisions we have made over our life time that determines whether those needs, wants and desires will be fulfilled.
Do I regret the decisions I made all those years ago?
At the time those decisions probably saved my sanity. Today? I realise that decisions have ramifications which may not manifest for decades down the track, and I wake, alone, in a double bed when I do not really want to be alone. Not any more.
But will I be able to take the next step and make positive changes so that loneliness does not become all consuming in my later years?

[scribbles76]

I choose to be alone, for 45 years and counting, because I find it infinitely easier than reaching out to and being close to people. Making room and time for others can often be more trouble than it’s worth.

[Hankrigby]

Originally Posted by Bretrick

As I rouse from dreaming about intimacy, I groan as I roll onto my side and look at the unused pillow beside me.
My hormones telling me that I have been too long without human contact.
I am not craving intimacy with a stranger.
I long for skin to skin contact with someone I can connect with on many levels.
Alas I made a conscious decision to live life alone, foolishly telling myself I do not need intimate human contact.
All my life I have slept alone. Waking every morning by oneself I realise now has had a mildly negative effect on my self esteem.
When the decision was made by me to shun people it was on the back of years of use and abuse to the point where it was imperative for me to block people out of my life.
I now have some semblance of control of my emotions. I can now differentiate between those who want to harm me and those who simply want friendship and benign human interaction.
So here I am, sleeping single in a double bed, craving intimate skin to skin contact but it seems I am destined to remain alone for the reason that prolonged interaction with someone still has the tendency to drive me a little bit crazy.
After a relatively short while I have the urgent need to get away. To run away and hide from the world at large.
A paragraph ago I wrote I now have some semblance of control of my emotions, the operative word being, "some". I do not have control of my emotions, I have, "Some semblance of Control".
I think one of the worst things about being single when you don't want to be is that people are shamed for expressing loneliness.
Everyone has needs, wants and desires and it is the decisions we have made over our life time that determines whether those needs, wants and desires will be fulfilled.
Do I regret the decisions I made all those years ago?
At the time those decisions probably saved my sanity. Today? I realise that decisions have ramifications which may not manifest for decades down the track, and I wake, alone, in a double bed when I do not really want to be alone. Not any more.
But will I be able to take the next step and make positive changes so that loneliness does not become all consuming in my later years?

Yes I've been alone before 27 years in fact. I did have some sexual contact in that 27 years but it was very short lived.

I understand the need for closeness or intimacy. How are you I would stay away from social media and online dating which is just another form of social media. It may not saying that it will but it may associated physical side of it but that is such a tiny component and may feel big to you right now but it's not worth it.

Social media takes the intimacy out of society it's just a way to further isolate yourself don't do that.

I think that's why this loneliness and this apathy you're feeling seems to be more and more common.

[Rent.in.ny]

If I were you I would not sleep in a double bed.
And remember, no sex is better than bad sex.

[zentropa]

I sleep with my dog and 2 cats. And I have almost too much human contact during the day. It works for me. I am definitely not "alone."

[Rent.in.ny]

This ^^^.

I have a neighbor whose "roommate" is a female pit bull, beautiful, affectionale, very intelligent.
He says she takes up all his free time, so much that betwwn demanding job and pitbull. he does not have time to look for a girlfriend. He has her already for 5 years, so she has become, understandably, very territorial and jealous for him. He is happy with the status quo ---- he is still very young!

[The Dissenter]

Yup. Hell, I’ve never slept with anyone in my adult life in the same bed.