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To unpack my response about these folks being greedy and entitled, think of it this way. In many, if not most cases, the people belong scammed are not finding love in their real lives because perhaps they are unattractive, older, reclusive, socially awkward, etc. Yet they believe that this rich, hot, too-good-to-be-true person has singled them out from millions of other profiles and wants them and them alone, although they are complete strangers.
And they never question it, because they have a narcissistic belief in their own "specialness.' Of course they deserve this. Of course they are entitled to this. They are even willing to buy this person's love and attention. They are willing to ignore the people who really DO love them, destroying lifelong relationships with friends and family.
This goes beyond naiveite and ignorance. It's a personality flaw.
Like they don't even meet them yet convince the other person to send them lots of money in the thousands, tens of thousands etc.? I was watching a video where this happened with several people, they gave some sob story and need money for x or y and without even meeting them they sent thousands to help only to find out they're a total fraud. Like one guy sent $5,000 to some woman who claimed her daughter was undergoing cancer and he just sent it, but never contacted him again, and a woman sent a guy $2,000 for some surgery his supposed son needed; all which turned out to be total BS.
And neither even met in person. How stupid are these people???
I don't feel bad for them. There's really no excuse for being that incredibly naïve and stupid. Plenty of information out there that documents such things.
That said, OLD was really all I used after I was divorced. Met a lot of great guys that way, and been with my current fella nearly 13 years.
I don't understsnd it either. My ex just lost his wife and he immediately gets online to find a new mate. He tells our sons he has met several women he's crazy about, they want to meet, blah blah blah. One has a very sick child. My sons ask for photos of these women, they do a reverse search on their image, and you guessed it, they're all con artists and he had a hard time believing it. It blows me away that he thinks some woman would automatically be crazy in love with him, never hsving met, literally 1 month after the death of his wife. What normal woman in their right mind would think a guy is marriage material after losing a mate so soon, but he just didnt see it that way. Damn, the dude has lost his marbles. Ugh, poor sap!
My friend was talking to guys online - all the same type of stories. They worked out on oil rigs in the ocean etc.
One sent her a pic and I did a reverse search and showed her that the scammer had just plucked this pic off the internet.
She was just so desperate to have a man in her life. I don't know how it turned out.
I agree with that, there are tons of scams and greedy people out there. To fight it, you have to be at least a little street smart and it seems that many adults aren’t.
After reading stores of middle age women who thought they’d found love with a scammer, who then talked them out of their life savings, they get zero sympathy from me. I’d personally never touch online dating. Even though I’m married, I get a few flirts from guys in the public, some young enough to be my son. Just no, I’m not about to be anyone’s sugar mama, that idea doesn’t work at all.
I don’t feel sorry for these women, more like annoyed they let themselves get scammed like that. A lady dripping tears in her cornflakes because she thought he loved her, so she sent him 100k, is the dumbest move anyone could possibly make. Not one ounce of sympathy. If it were an elderly widow or widower, yes it’s disgraceful to take advantage of an 85 year old, but the rest of these people should hear alarm bells going off at the mere mention of a loan. With all the information online about being scammed and catfished, there is no excuse to let someone walk off with your money.
I think OP underestimates the desperation of guys with few or no options. I cannot speak for why women may do similar things, sending large sums to strangers.
There are a few tropes making rounds the past several years in the so-called men's community. If there is such a place in a distributed Internet. Groups or tribes of guys from haters to go-getters and everything in between with various "goals" if you will. Views vary from twisted to pragmatic. I prefer the latter.
One trope I happen to like is "pursue excellence," which might mean 1) physicality 2) relationships 3) goals and purpose 4) resources and money. Guys in the stories mentioned by OP are in desperate need of 2), but like as not missing the others. All are needed. They may have resources (4) though that usually implies wisdom, clearly sorely lacking in these cases. I've observed guys with physicality (1) look and feel better, thus attract more women. Looks matter to men and women in relationships though to what degree is hotly debated (bad pun intended). Goals and purpose (3) reduces desperation as-well.
We could blame the social narrative that still supports wealth transfer from men to women, but that's almost fundamental to a man's nature as provider. Taken in combination with desire for a "relationship" and few options, well...those guys are ready to be fleeced.
I believed the lies and social narrative until about ten years ago, in my early 40s. Most guys need a traumatic experience or two before they wise up. I avoided that through luck, observing the train wrecks other guys went through, a cautious nature, and wisdom. In that order.
Last remarks: most of those guys aren't 'stupid' so much as 'ignorant' the way interpersonal dynamics actually work, and what is necessary to be successful as a guy in 21st Century society. In fact many of those guys have quite a bit of raw intelligence, just very little street smarts.
Two points - the average IQ is 100, half the people are lower than that. Not their fault.
Also, if you are a basically honest person, you tend to believe other people are also honest. Many people take things at face value - "He sent me his picture!" whereas I, honest but suspicious, thinks "whose picture is that really?" If someone tells me I am charming and beautiful, my scam radar goes off immediately, whereas other people may just be flattered.
But really, I sometimes watch videos on the topic (romance scams) and I find it hard to believe anyone falls for the broken English, silly names, bad grammar, and instant love-bombing. But they do.
One more thing - everyone is all concerned about "the elderly", and with good reason, some have the beginnings of cognitive impairment. BUT there are plenty of young people who believe a stranger wants to be their sugar daddy ("Just give me your bank login info so I can put money in your account") or that a stranger will invest their money in crypto for a 1000% profit. And let's not even get into the extortion over nude photos scam.
Like they don't even meet them yet convince the other person to send them lots of money in the thousands, tens of thousands etc.? I was watching a video where this happened with several people, they gave some sob story and need money for x or y and without even meeting them they sent thousands to help only to find out they're a total fraud. Like one guy sent $5,000 to some woman who claimed her daughter was undergoing cancer and he just sent it, but never contacted him again, and a woman sent a guy $2,000 for some surgery his supposed son needed; all which turned out to be total BS.
And neither even met in person. How stupid are these people???
Most of the gullible are of low IQ, diminished mental capacity due to different reasons or beginning of dementia: I do feel sorry for them, but it is inevitable unless someone is safeguarding them and their finances.
I don’t feel bad for these people at all. There is enough information out there showing how common these scams are and all the tactics these scamming fiends use. Dr Phil alone has enough cases easily accessible on YouTube showing what a scammer will do. No sympathy from me whatsoever on this topic.
Same here. I wish I was more sympathetic, but as you point out, there is tons of information out there about scams all the time.
Let me tell you, you know those Nigerian prince emails everyone laughs about? People fall for THAT. I knew the guy who monitored the air cargo email at a major international airport, and he would get messages from people who were waiting for a trunk full of cash to arrive and hadn't yet been notified as to where they could pick it up. They'd sent the shipping fee as instructed in the email they'd received.
My mother, well into her Eighties, lost her patience when a friend of the same age was wringing her hands at church coffee hour because she'd gotten a call from the IRS saying she had to pay $5,000 in back taxes or she was going to prison. She didn't have $5,000 and she was taking care of a invalid adult son, and if she went to prison, what was going to happen to him...
My mother said she asked her how she could not know this was a scam. Those things are in the newspaper all the time, in the AARP newletters, everywhere. Mom was pretty tolerant generally, but it angered her because this was an example of why people think the elderly are stupid and incompetent.
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