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Humans interact with other humans. Such interactions are generally based upon codes of conduct. When those codes are ignored, there is instability. The easy example is the construction of the commerce clause in the U.S. Constitution. Violation of those codes are illegal and punishable.
The larger concept is a country that is ruled by laws rather than by individuals. That is why so many of us rail against populism and the cult of personality.
On smaller scales, which is what I suspect you are attempting to discuss, there are other factors that come into play. Specifically, projection is problematic. I can recount countless stories of preachers exhorting others to live a pure life, while simultaneously having extra-curricular relations with followers.
During childhood, rules are learned. During adolescence, those rules are tested. During early adulthood, they are used to form basic relations. During middle adulthood, they are used as tools for power over others. During late adulthood (provided that there has been psychological development), internalization occurs and concurrently there is a recognition that morality/rules/laws only are important within the framework of personal development. Regrettably, many people never reach that stage of development.
Outside of basic laws and the commerce clause, which provide safety and a basis for a peaceful society, I don't much care what others do as long as intentional hurt and schadenfreude are not involved.
At any time now and in history, there have been huge groups of people at various stages of development along these lines. Childhood and adolescence are the only stages that are actively curated for outcomes. After that, most of what happens is mud wrestling. What you are seeing is mud wrestling.
The bolded is the sort of thing that sounds good and might make for an easily shareable meme, but if you actually stop to think about it...exceptionally oversimplified at best? I'd definitely say 'at best', though, because if you're claiming 'internalization' in late adulthood...how does 'internalization' differ from mere 'learning', which you ascribe to childhood? Sure, your counterargument could be that people learn of things without internalizing them, but I mean, your proposed construct is entirely artificial, and yet you offer it as if it were gospel. Hmm.
Looking at it from the point of view of an anthropologist, much of human behavior like being judgemental derives from the basic competitive nature of human beings. We are wired to be tribal and to constantly look for ways to gain power over others, to be superior. All primates behave this way.
Imagine you have a family and are looking to move to a new neighborhood. You find a house you're interested in.
You go to check it out and notice there is trash all over the street. The front yards of most of the houses are not well-maintained. They have grass growing to almost a knee's length. Many of the houses are boarded up. You notice there are cops monitoring many areas. The schools nearby look dilapidated. You look up information about them and find they have extremely poor ratings.
How would you feel about this house? How would you feel about this neighborhood?
Interesting viewpoint. How many of us can honestly say we would move into that neighborhood? That is definitely judging on out part because there is a lot of assumptions that could be made as to why this neighborhood is the way it is.
My personality type isn't highly prone to judging except in the area of moral values and that's a problematic spot for me. I think my motive for commenting on others' choices stems from the base emotion of fear that the social structure we share may be damaged. So that is a preventive and reasonable concern.
The other is also built into my personality style and that's a need to help others learn ways that they can feel better about themselves and let go of dysfunctional habits that make their lives and sometimes mine uncomfortable.
My main challenge in judgementalism is not in thinking judgementalism is wrong to feel because as the OP mentions it is a normal and common human behavior. The red flag area for me is knowing and respecting where appropriate boundaries lay.
Could you be more right? I am a lot like this too.
The last example I can think of was at the grocery store a few days ago. I had 3 items and got in the 10 items or less line. Behind me, a 350# woman said, “excuse me”, squeezed around my cart to get in front of me to her husband. In her arms were 6 boxes of ice cream bars (Fatboys) and several boxes of sugary cereal. Between the two of them, there were several dozen items....all carbs, no vegetables. I judged her for being obese. I judged her for feeding her family junk. I judged her for having over 10 items in the line.
The only thing that kept me from speaking up about the 10 items is that maybe she had been invited into the aisle by the cashier, when he wasn’t busy.
As to what compels me? It’s like the need to straighten a crooked picture on the wall. If you must leave it crooked, it’s frustrating.
Imagine you have a family and are looking to move to a new neighborhood. You find a house you're interested in.
You go to check it out and notice there is trash all over the street. The front yards of most of the houses are not well-maintained. They have grass growing to almost a knee's length. Many of the houses are boarded up. You notice there are cops monitoring many areas. The schools nearby look dilapidated. You look up information about them and find they have extremely poor ratings.
How would you feel about this house? How would you feel about this neighborhood?
That used to be something I would look for. It is a community with an opportunity for you to create improvements. You can get your family out there cleaning up and other families will follow. You can help organize the neighborhood to clean things up. Cut the lawns on the abandoned houses and maybe even paint them to make the property ore appealing for someone to come and fix them up. The side advantage is your property values go up too. However now I am tired. Kind of a BTDT situation. Now I go to those neighborhoods from a distance and clean up with various groups and then return home to our comparatively clean streets and short lawns. We still do an annual clean up in our community. People throw trash along the roads and it needs to be cleaned up.
However the reason we chose our current community is not because it is clean and well kept but because it is no governed by an HOA or populated by Karen's. It is a somewhat tony suburb,but it is very live and let live attitude (with a few unwelcome exceptions). No one is going to measure your lawn, or complain if you have a boat parked in your driveway for too long, or call the township to complain that you have chickens or a rooster. Few lawns are knee high but some get cut rarely. If you do not like the length of your neighbor's lawn - go mow it. We have very few boarded up houses, but several that need paint. No one is harassing the owners though. That was a big appeal of this community, in fact it was more a requirement from our perspectives.
The bolded is the sort of thing that sounds good and might make for an easily shareable meme, but if you actually stop to think about it...exceptionally oversimplified at best? I'd definitely say 'at best', though, because if you're claiming 'internalization' in late adulthood...how does 'internalization' differ from mere 'learning', which you ascribe to childhood? Sure, your counterargument could be that people learn of things without internalizing them, but I mean, your proposed construct is entirely artificial, and yet you offer it as if it were gospel. Hmm.
What you wish to take as "Gospel" is your concern, not mine. If you go back through my postings you will repeatedly find that much of my purpose is NOT to make people think like I do, but to simply THINK. Please don't put your projection onto me.
Yes, that is a gross oversimplification. Maslow's hierarchy is a gross oversimplification. Breakfast as a healthy meal is a gross oversimplification. All such things are simply models, and no model can ever reach the fullness of real life and existence.
I know you intended to be snarky, but I do fully realize that I could well be causing the same response in someone for something I do.
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