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I'm not a doctor, buuuuuut... as someone who has OCD, this sounds an awful lot like OCD. So I'd start there!
Can you see a professional for diagnosis? That's really the only way to know for sure, and to start getting treatment (for whatever it is). This isn't something you can just wish or meditate away, unfortunately.
I was going to say OCD, but also combined with something like this:
Tourette syndrome (TS, sometimes called Tourette disorder)
Persistent (sometimes called chronic) motor or vocal tic disorder
Provisional tic disorder
You may think you have control over these tics, but increasingly they will become involuntary. A trip to a psychiatrist (MD) and medication is the next step. This is more than an inconvenience, it is a mental illness you need to take very seriously.
I just realized - after I read a lot about OCD - that I don't only get tics "thoughts" about mistakes of the past. It can be any thoughts, any imagination scenario of something bad that could happen either to me or to someone I know.
For example, today, I tried hard to keep these thoughts (about the past) controlled, I got a few tics (talking and movements), and I tried to change the tics to "finger clapping".
Suddenly, just this evening, I was "daydreaming" about a really weird scenario in which my small brother and I got stuck in a room full of fire, and we had to jump from the window so we can get away from it. people were holding a carpet to help us, but I threw my small brother away from the target, and he hit the ground and died. I imagined this with details (blood and people screaming "just jump" ...). Right after this weird daydreaming I got a really bad tic (movement and talking), and I said loudly "no no no no no please not like that) turning my face right and left repeatedly (like a crazy person).
So it's not about the past mistakes as I thoughts. it's just "thoughts", and sometimes are not even a mistake, and sometimes are things that never happened before (like the example above).
D*** it. I must see a doctor. this is a bad OCD. but at least I know it's OCD now.
For the tics, whether is it Tourettes or not, I got this idea a few years ago, but then I realized that Tourettes happen without awareness (or maybe I'm wrong). I must see if I have this one too. because these tics happen to me only if I'm alone with my full awareness of them, and it never happened (or are rare) if someone is around me.
D*** it. I must see a doctor. this is a bad OCD. but at least I know it's OCD now.
This is a good thing. Mental health is part of health. If you had chronic physical pain that was disrupting your life, you would probably see a doctor about it, and would not hesitate. These anxieties and compulsions you have can be treated just the same.
I'm not a doctor, buuuuuut... as someone who has OCD, this sounds an awful lot like OCD. So I'd start there!
Can you see a professional for diagnosis? That's really the only way to know for sure, and to start getting treatment (for whatever it is). This isn't something you can just wish or meditate away, unfortunately.
LMAO, you beat me to it. As someone also with OCD... HELLLLLOOOOOO. OP, see someone. Not saying it IS OCD, but if not, it's something like it. OCD is an anxiety disorder.
The important thing is that you see a professional, and do not worry about telling them what you might think sounds weird. They have heard it all before, and they will be able to help you on a course of treatment to make your life more manageable.
Lots of folks misunderstand OCD, and think it just means you like things neat and tidy. That's not at all what it is.
THANK YOU. I have said this time and again on this forum. Unfortunately, the idea of the germaphobe depicted on TV and in movies pervades society's mind about OCD. While OCD does manifest that way in some people, you're not going to find my house to be the neatest place on the planet. Most of my "stuff" is in my head, counting, checking, etc., waiting for the "right feeling" to proceed with something.
And the ever-popular intrusive thoughts, which is what you are experiencing, OP, and the compulsions you've developed to stop them from happening. It's a really creative way of handling anxiety.
ETA: You may not be able to "cure" it, but you can learn to understand and manage it.
Create a ritual. Write things down. Then, burn it. Forgive yourself and let go. Make better decisions going forward. Don't forget how strong you are for having gotten this far.
Create a ritual. Write things down. Then, burn it. Forgive yourself and let go. Make better decisions going forward. Don't forget how strong you are for having gotten this far.
That may help, but I think for the OP it's not the content of the thoughts themselves, but the fact that they are uncontrollably intrusive. For example, he later posted that these thoughts are sometime gruesome fantasies, not memories.
Hi, I could not even begin to diagnose you. People have suggested seeing a therapist and/or medicine. That can help. I want to go a step further - find out what is the core of the problem. The help you get will be to find out what that is and find the solution.
My idea - the core problem might be you are not feeling a sense of peace. Find a way to have peace. if you can find peace in your life, the tics will subside or even go away. maybe this along with the other suggestions. But the key is - find peace.
I find it in God, but others may have another way to have peace of mind. i think that will help so much. Peace will keep those thoughts at bay somewhat or entirely. You might be more sensitive to things happening around you. I dont know, just my random thoughts to try to get thru this.
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