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Old 11-13-2023, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,076,387 times
Reputation: 19016

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
Remember the immortal words of George Taylor!......"It's a bit late for a wake, she's been dead for almost a year." POTA (talking about astronaut Stewart)



Regrets are one thing but as none of us has a time machine and can't change our past, being weighed down by them is probably useless.
I disagree, if our regrets prompt us to an apology to let that person know, we are so sorry we hurt them, then it might be helpful to that person, or not. When I apologized, I didn't expect forgiveness, just simply wanted them to know that it bothered me deeply that I hurt them and was sorry.....some words or actions cannot be forgiven, but, to extend that regret for doing so might help them understand we are owning our mistakes towards them...? I don't know, I just feel it's the right thing to do?
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Old 11-13-2023, 09:15 AM
 
Location: a little corner of a very big universe
845 posts, read 701,077 times
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I'm not sure which I regret more, not having tried to date sooner or ever having tried to date at all.


I have others, like not having stood up to my abusive father sooner, which is probably partly behind that first regret I mentioned, but those are the big ones. I have learned from these and consequently don't date, and I'm okay with that.
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Old 11-13-2023, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,076,387 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archaic View Post
I'm not sure which I regret more, not having tried to date sooner or ever having tried to date at all.


I have others, like not having stood up to my abusive father sooner, which is probably partly behind that first regret I mentioned, but those are the big ones. I have learned from these and consequently don't date, and I'm okay with that.
Don’t know if this will hold any weight for you but it evens states in the Bible that marriage is not for everyone
I feel the same way you do
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Old 11-13-2023, 12:21 PM
 
Location: a little corner of a very big universe
845 posts, read 701,077 times
Reputation: 2575
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Don’t know if this will hold any weight for you but it evens states in the Bible that marriage is not for everyone
I feel the same way you do

I'm an atheist, so no, what the Bible says has no impact one way or another, but thank you. I know I'm not alone in being alone!
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Old 11-13-2023, 12:37 PM
 
Location: minnesota
15,792 posts, read 6,206,061 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I disagree, if our regrets prompt us to an apology to let that person know, we are so sorry we hurt them, then it might be helpful to that person, or not. When I apologized, I didn't expect forgiveness, just simply wanted them to know that it bothered me deeply that I hurt them and was sorry.....some words or actions cannot be forgiven, but, to extend that regret for doing so might help them understand we are owning our mistakes towards them...? I don't know, I just feel it's the right thing to do?
https://thoughtcatalog.com/claudia-a...ortant-truths/

Nobody is the boat. Have you apologized to yourself?
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Old 11-13-2023, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,076,387 times
Reputation: 19016
Quote:
Originally Posted by L8Gr8Apost8 View Post
https://thoughtcatalog.com/claudia-a...ortant-truths/

Nobody is the boat. Have you apologized to yourself?
I read this
Thank you
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Old 11-14-2023, 04:03 AM
 
Location: PNW
7,199 posts, read 3,018,883 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenSparkles View Post
I have a major regret in my life that has been weighing on me for a few years now. Its regarding a relationship with a family member. They are still alive, so its possible I still have time to do something about it.

So it probably isn't a surprise I was drawn to this audiobook - The Power of Regret. It sounds a bit cheesy, but its deep, and really thought-provoking. It goes completely against the pop-psychology notion of having "no regrets." I highly recommend it.

The author has been conducting research on regret through his website with a survey - https://worldregretsurvey.com/ - so far more than 19,000 people have submitted a significant regret they have, along with some basic demographic information. Its anonymous, and only takes a minute to complete. I submitted mine.

If you click on the survey link, and scroll down, there is a map where you can read regrets people have submitted from all over the world by country, and in the US and Canada, by state. Its really amazing to see the commonalities of what people regret in their lives, despite age and gender.

Relationships are a two-way street. So, you are not in control over whether you can resolve that particular issue. You can stay true to yourself going forward.

The problem with reading that list of regrets is then what do you do with it? I believe we start out not knowing everything and learn a lot through trial and error. One thing I do is see a psychiatrist regularly and I have worked out a lot of what has happened in my past and I am a much more satisfied person for having done that work.

Yes, I had a lot of regrets because I had a lot of things happen in life before I was prepared to deal with them. However, I am getting old and have worked through my past. I still see a psychiatrist to get help dealing with the present. An objective person who is highly qualified is an invaluable resource and allows you to analyze your issues and relationships and deal with your negative emotions, so your friends and family do not need to. It has been one of the best decisions I have made the two years long periods of time when I have seen either a marriage and family counselor or a psychiatrist. I have a unique history and due to early childhood parental loss I was most likely dealing with arrested psychological development (a.k.a I was exceedingly naive).
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Old 11-14-2023, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,076,387 times
Reputation: 19016
Quote:
Wile E. Coyote; I have a unique history and due to early childhood parental loss I was most likely dealing with arrested psychological development (a.k.a I was exceedingly naive).
huh, that was interesting....well, actually your entire post was a very interesting read, thank you, however, this part really jumped out at me, and can relate myself.

I am basically thankful for everything that has happened to me, both good and bad, it made me grow into who I am today, however, when in my 20's I could not believe how naive I was...and always contributed it to growing up in a really small town, but now, after reading this, not so sure.
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Old 11-14-2023, 02:44 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 1,081,618 times
Reputation: 3871
I regret not doing more about a relative of mine stealing a large amount of money from me.

I only found out due to a government agent telling me.

If I had been told sooner I would have cut that relative off more quickly.
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Old 11-16-2023, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,076,387 times
Reputation: 19016
There was a man I dated years ago, with whom I made some grave mistakes. Took some bad advice from family members, and paid dearly, hurt him very badly....while we broke up afterwards, I was so glad I was honest with him in the end, but, unfortunately it was too late and he broke up with me, but learned a very hurtful lesson from it...that was over 25 years ago, haven't dated since....tried at first, but just lost interest in dating. I never want to feel that kind of pain again.

I don't know why I listend to my sister, and foster mom, they said after we start dating and he gets to know me, I can then tell him, but until then, they said it was none of his business...

Also, I had been running an add in the paper for a few years, and when he called me, I never told him my age just left him think I was the age in the paper....that was wrong...so I lied to him twice, unintentionally, but you live and learn, unfortunatley, I hurt his heart....

I should have known better....!!!
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