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Old 11-05-2022, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Mayberry
36,369 posts, read 15,969,738 times
Reputation: 72746

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
I make a distinction between regrets (knowing the right thing to do, and not doing it anyway, usually out of some combination of cowardice or sloth) and disappointments (expecting something and not getting it).

.
I read somewhere, Experience is what you get, when you don't get what you want.

It's hard to have "no expectations", but we grow and learn that people don't respond to things as we would, like wanting someone to return in kind as you have given, doesn't work sometimes. I quit expecting that.

Disappointments are inevitable, to me after expecting so much from others to be treated as I have treated them, it just doesn't happen!!
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Old 11-05-2022, 05:24 PM
 
21,669 posts, read 12,729,773 times
Reputation: 36533
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I can honestly say NO...not in any aspect in my life school wise, career, w/ family, etc.
Wow!
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Old 11-05-2022, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Kansas
25,741 posts, read 21,891,700 times
Reputation: 26344
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
I have a million regrets. They haunt me.

But for the sake of mental health, one must cope or move on.
Great way to sum it up. One has more as time goes on, but dwelling on them makes no sense to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
I must be very shallow then it’s not an ethic. All the decisions I have made were calculated risks and those that didn’t turn out I accepted as a consequence and a challenge. .It certainly hasn’t undermined the complexities I’ve had to face in life. I think for the most part I learned many of these lessons very early in life. This one in particular : “ To live life without regrets doesn’t mean you never make a mistake. It doesn’t mean you never fail. It means that you live life to the fullest and learn from your experiences.“
https://www.betterplaceforests.com/b...ithout-regrets
Awesome! Who knows, maybe regretting something in the past in reality was really the best thing to do in the first place.

I have some regrets, but I think everyone must. There aren't do overs in life, so we make the best decisions that we can. If only I could have the wisdom, knowledge and experience I have now 50 years ago, I might have a few less regrets.

I keep telling my husband "You can't move forward, if you keep looking back." He doesn't get it.
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Old 11-05-2022, 06:49 PM
 
Location: az
13,457 posts, read 7,817,979 times
Reputation: 9319
I have two which stand out:

I had a fight with my younger brother when I was 17 and he was 15. Worst day of my life. My brother didn't speak to me again for almost four years. Our relationship was never the same.

Was engaged to be married when I was 30 but I was drinking heavily and had no idea how I could support a family. I packed my bags and split. No doubt it was the best for us both but the way it ended was wrong. Tried to write her a letter years later and apologize but couldn't find her.

Last edited by john3232; 11-05-2022 at 08:12 PM..
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Old 11-05-2022, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Capital Region, NY
2,451 posts, read 1,510,071 times
Reputation: 3505
Regrets? Of course. Everyone does. It is one of the facts of life that makes us human.
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Old 11-06-2022, 04:22 AM
 
178 posts, read 113,735 times
Reputation: 658
Quote:
Originally Posted by bu2 View Post
Not being able to let go of the past and live in the present is an issue. Not being able to forgive yourself for being human is an issue.
This.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I can honestly say NO...not in any aspect in my life school wise, career, w/ family, etc.
The same.
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Old 11-06-2022, 06:01 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
704 posts, read 571,296 times
Reputation: 2576
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
I have a million regrets. They haunt me.

But for the sake of mental health, one must cope or move on.
I have to say, that reading this gave me a sense of relief, in that, I'm not the only one that struggles with this.
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Old 11-06-2022, 09:40 PM
 
846 posts, read 670,769 times
Reputation: 2270
Yes, I regret half of my life to be honest.

I'm hoping I can steer it into a direction to where I can feel like the overall batting average is good and all the sacrifices I made were worth it in the end. But right now, that end result is not here yet, so I can only judge where I am so far.
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Old 11-07-2022, 12:03 PM
 
3,657 posts, read 3,271,299 times
Reputation: 7028
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
It also "does no good" to love someone who doesn't look you back...or to miss someone who's died. Yet those are human emotions we really have no control over. If you can just say "not a useful emotion" and stop feeling it, well, that's weird to me; sorry! We're not robots. At least most of us aren't. I do, however, know several people who have gone on SSRIs and suddenly express that sentiment. One said, "I used to care, but now I don't." Which is also scary to me! I'd rather feel all of my feelings; good or bad, "useful" or not.
You are confusing what is being discussed and citing scenarios that don't apply.
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Old 11-07-2022, 12:05 PM
 
21,669 posts, read 12,729,773 times
Reputation: 36533
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
You are confusing what is being discussed and citing scenarios that don't apply.
I am simply stating that one can't help one's feelings - of regret or anything else - even if those feelings "don't do any good."
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