Why do we place almost someone’s entire value in the dating scene on their looks? (attracted, attractive)

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by allthatglitters

These include genetics, environmental factors, certain medical conditions, and more.

Originally Posted by allthatglitters

It's not rare.

Many common medications can cause weight gain.

Well, you added medications now so I was saying what you wrote before is rare. Ofc medication can cause weight gain but not to 300#. Ppl can still do something about their eating habits & exercise to minimize it.

AND, when ppl date, they don’t get a list of reasons why the other person is overweight or a doctor’s excuse. You are attracted to them physically or you’re not.

[allthatglitters]

^^^Simply saying it's not about a man who let themselves go....

[SkyLark2019]

To counter OP's question.....

Cases in point of people who are not conventionally attractive but get a LOT of romantic attention- many musicians and artists.

Historical examples- Jackson Pollock looked like the miserable wretch he was, yet he had women at his beck and call.

Mick Jagger? Not my cup of tea, but his conquests are legendary.

Chrissy Hynde? Crazy-eccentric, not femme looking, but she seduced men at the top of her social scene.

Pablo Picasso was mediocre looking but had women literally fighting over the chance to be a fling of his.

Attraction is complicated. To the point where many are turned off by someone too "hot"...too perfect-looking.

Just my 2 cents.

[hickoryfan]

Everything starts with the looks.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by hickoryfan

Everything starts with the looks.

And chemistry, IMO. If you aren’t feeling it, you shouldn’t force it.

[MillennialUrbanist]

We place high emphasis on looks because you can't fake looks. You can buy a Lamborghini on credit or lease it for a month to make yourself look rich. You can memorize finance jargon and say you're an investment banker. You can drive to Beverly Hills, park in front of a giant house, take a selfie, and say you live there. You can smooth-talk as much as you can stomach it, provided that no one sees your face. In fact, there once was a reality show about this: "Mr. Personality".

But looks are right there on a person's face, front and center, showing how good or bad their genes are. Facial symmetry is the biggest indicator, but there are lesser ones too. You can't fake good genes unless you get prohibitively expensive plastic surgery, currently affordible only to the Hollywood glitterati. Good-looking face = good genes; bad-looking face = bad genes. Looks are a blatant indicator of someone's genetic quality, and even Covid masks are worthless when it comes to hiding bad genes. That's why Chad Thunderpenis looks good with or without a Covid mask, while Stable Timothy does not.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist

We place high emphasis on looks because you can't fake looks.

IMO, we place importance on looks because almost all of us want to be attracted to who we date. You can call it out for being superficial all you want…BUT, it’s real & honest. It doesn’t mean it’s the only thing ofc, but it’s all we see at 1st. And, ppl want to be attracted or feel a little spark….”a possible connection”…if they are going to spend a little time getting to know somebody better. Who wants to go on a date with somebody they think is unattractive or doesn’t take care of themselves? Why fake it or pretend to be interested if you aren’t? Just find a nice way to turn him down.

[Rocko20]

Originally Posted by TonyB83

Why do we place almost someone’s entire value in the dating scene on their looks?

Because until we gather more information, that's all we have to go by. They are mental shortcuts until we find out the real you.

That's just the way the world works.

But the year is 2023, there are plenty of plastic surgery options if you don't like the way your face looks.

[BigCityDreamer]

Originally Posted by TonyB83

Whenever I browse forums I see people who say stay in your league looks wise and over the years I’ve heard people tell me I was too good looking for my partner and vice versa. Why do we put looks on such a high pedestal to where we think the better looking person is on a higher level and worth more and a lesser attractive person is worth less?

Because money, fame and beauty rule the world, as opposed to poverty, obscurity and ugliness.

As they say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

[rabbit33]

Originally Posted by TonyB83

Whenever I browse forums I see people who say stay in your league looks wise and over the years I’ve heard people tell me I was too good looking for my partner and vice versa. Why do we put looks on such a high pedestal to where we think the better looking person is on a higher level and worth more and a lesser attractive person is worth less?

It’s a sad commentary imo when to a lot of people that’s the most important measuring stick on where you are of value in the dating scene. I’d never want to be with such a bore of a person who lacks such depth that that’s where they think most of someone’s value comes from

What you mean "we", Lone Ranger?

Internet fora are not real life, no matter how hard you may try to make it so.