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Honestly, physical appearance is the first thing we can see and "verify" prior to meeting. Now, even after meeting, many will still be shallow, so I won't lie and say that looks aren't a big deal for many. I have found, however, that if someone starts to date another they have known for a while before dating, things like personality have take on a larger role. At least this has been my experience.
Of course I’ve dated people all over the looks spectrum and was attracted to them all. I’m just talking in terms of how people seem to think a person has no right to even approach someone more attractive then them lol
Some people look at good looking people as deity’s
Well, this goes a different direction. You're talking about approaching someone that you feel is "out of your league" by looks in comparison with yourself and how you feel.
Nobody should be intimidated by another person's looks and nobody should feel "unworthy" of approaching someone with very good looks, even though you consider yourself less attractive.
It would be my opinion that those that refuse to approach someone that they feel is more attractive than they are , have some sort of self esteem problem, whereas they "feel" less attractive but it's not always so.
If I was attracted to a guy on a site and he was super handsome and had a lot of common ground with me and I felt we could be compatible, I would send a "like" or whatever the site has that let's the guy know I'm interested in at least talking. Sometimes I would get a reply and other times not. It doesn't bother me if I don't, because "he" can't help who he is and isn't attracted to. It's really nothing personal.
People that see the same profile and "freak" and say "oh no, that guy is way too hot for me" and doesn't at least try have self esteem issues which cause them to feel less worthy of someone else.
Whenever I browse forums I see people who say stay in your league looks wise and over the years I’ve heard people tell me I was too good looking for my partner and vice versa. Why do we put looks on such a high pedestal to where we think the better looking person is on a higher level and worth more and a lesser attractive person is worth less?
It’s a sad commentary imo when to a lot of people that’s the most important measuring stick on where you are of value in the dating scene. I’d never want to be with such a bore of a person who lacks such depth that that’s where they think most of someone’s value comes from
Another thought about dating sites is that you don't have the advantage of being around that person in real life so that your natural instincts can react. For example, if in person and at a club or whatever, there is a table of 3 women. One is model material, one is pretty but a little bigger, the other is slim and perfect body but not so cute. All are having fun and one of them is totally happy "in their own skin" and the personality is magnetic. Almost all men will be attracted to the person who is genuinely happy with themselves and you can actually feel the magnetism. Men sense this, same for women.
On dating sites, some profiles are vague and only one picture and you can't tell (due to time of day, lighting, pose, etc.) what that person really actually looks like until you are face to face. That's why I always urge people to stay away from dating sites, they will waste valuable time and almost always will disappoint you in the end. Your own self esteem can be affected as well. It's backwards, it's not the way it is supposed to be done.
The funny thing about dating based upon looks in a photo is that many people re more photogenic than they are in real life, and vice versa. They say that the camera doesn't lie, but Photoshop sure as heck does. I've met people who I've only ever seen their photos, and they look nothing like their photos. So when they meet on a first date, I think people get a few surprises. Looks will only get you in the door, after that you better have something else going on.
I was always attracted to good looking guys, but most of them turned out to be jerks because they didn't have to work hard to get a woman's attention. My DH is not what most women would claim as their type, but that's fine with me because his attributes are on the inside and will last longer than his looks. I was never anywhere near model attractive or anything like that, but my DH considers me a "catch". My friends describe their husbands as a$$holes sometimes, but they always comment on how "nice" my hubby is.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB83
Of course I’ve dated people all over the looks spectrum and was attracted to them all. I’m just talking in terms of how people seem to think a person has no right to even approach someone more attractive then them lol
Some people look at good looking people as deity’s
I think looks are the first consideration as you generally don’t know the person so you have nothing else to judge them on.
About the approaching someone way better looking than yourself, from a guys point of view they may self judge themselves as not good enough to have a chance. The other side is some women have a unrealistic view of themselves. They think they are a 10 when most people judge them to look average.
Thus some take the attitude if a guy isn’t a 8 or above a male should waste their time by approaching them. Just watch tiktok and see how many women are warning guys don’t bother.
They also have no issue with public shaming a man they don’t deem worthy.
Then some women are asking why men won’t approach them.
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