Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
IMO I think there is something phycological about being able to father children even when you are not sure you want to have kids.
Even if this were true (which I don’t think it is), most of us have no reason to believe we can’t - as the only men out there who would even know they can’t would be those who have visited a fertility clinic, or specialist of some sort, as part of a couple.
In fact, quite the opposite; there is a psychological fear, at least when we’re younger, we’re going to impregnate a woman by ‘accident’ i.e. failed birth control. It’s what happened to me personally, although it was almost a decade ago (I was in my thirties at the time); hence, although initially surprised, there was no fear i.e. I fully welcomed her/the idea of being a dad. Unfortunately, she was tragically lost.
That said, hyper-fixation on anything or anyone isn’t psychologically healthy; and OP’s friend is clearly doing just that.
Even if this were true (which I don’t think it is), most of us have no reason to believe we can’t - as the only men out there who would even know they can’t would be those who have visited a fertility clinic, or specialist of some sort, as part of a couple.
In fact, quite the opposite; there is a psychological fear, at least when we’re younger, we’re going to impregnate a woman by ‘accident’ i.e. failed birth control. It’s what happened to me personally, although it was almost a decade ago (I was in my thirties at the time); hence, although initially surprised, there was no fear i.e. I fully welcomed her/the idea of being a dad. Unfortunately, she was tragically lost.
That said, hyper-fixation on anything or anyone isn’t psychologically healthy; and OP’s friend is clearly doing just that.
There is enough correlation between infertility in men and its psychological effects that it has been the subject of studies all over the world.
Anthropological theories of masculinity and reproduction Dudgeon and Inhorn12 concluded in a review of the biological and cultural anthropological theories of masculinity and human reproduction that infertility is potentially humiliating and emasculating to men, has a profound adverse impact on masculinity and is more stigmatizing for men than it is for women. The authors argue that men can conflate infertility, virility and sexual potency, which can therefore lead to perceived personal inadequacy.
There is enough correlation between infertility in men and its psychological effects that it has been the subject of studies all over the world.
Point is, they’d have to know it first; the same with women. Hence, the only men/women being evaluated are those who were actively trying to have (and wanted) a baby as a couple. Even then, I just read/googled stats relative to such; the man is the ‘problem’ in only one-third of those couples (and not necessarily an irreparable problem, in either case). In other words, you’re speaking to a very small percentage of men/extreme cases (per the OP) and psychological health, as a whole, more than just reproductive health in and of itself.
That said, I’m not suggesting the OP’s friend isn’t entitled to feel however he feels, but his approach certainly isn’t conducive to psychological health/happiness. Hyper-fixation on something that he can’t control, (at the cost of his relationship and/or other aspects of his life), is the cause of his (psychological) problem. Most of us know happiness doesn’t all rest or depend on fathering a child (or not).
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 01-22-2023 at 12:25 PM..
Reason: added 2nd paragraph
Some who worked at family planning clinic said it was common for a mom to put their young daughters on the pill or something if they found out the girls were sexually active. I would not expect them to get their teenage sons a vasectomy for the same reason. Even though a vasectomy is reversible.
It's very clearly the bonding between the genders have deteriorated over the years. Less men want commitment and kids. More are opting for vasectomies and cohabitating with gf after gf.
However, my friend's brother just found out recently that he's permanently infertile. I don't know the name but it's when a man doesn't or can't produce any sperm. He was actually in tears when he got that news. She was trying to comfort him by listing the bright side of things such as no longer worrying about paying for child support, a gf babytrapping him, or younger women demanding for a kid, to treat it as a blessing. None of what she said helped at all. He doesn't want to speak with anyone at this moment.
If the number of men having vasectomies have skyrocketed over the recent years (this means more men wish they were infertile), why aren't naturally infertile men happy?
Most of the men having vasectomies have already had children and don't want any more. That's why they are having them. Not because they don't ever want to have them. Some men don't want kids, but the majority of the vasectomies are due to not wanting more kids.
Semi-seriously, I blame super-tight Y-fronts for increased infertility in men. The modern women do not want to be tied to the home with children and often couples cannot afford to have (m)any kids.
However, it is true, there are more and more men who have low sperm counts and low motility of sperm which lowers the chances of pregnancy. This is why the population is declining. In China, there are loads of couples who have to use fertility clinics and now the government in some areas is offering financial incentives to have more children.
The world is changing and soon women will be able to drop a few eggs off at the clinic, then husband drops by to give sperm and the babies are incubated for them in artificial wombs. We are nearly at that stage now, so probably another 10 years and this will free women from gestation and childbirth. Currently artificial wombs need to be developed for premature babies less than 24 weeks as soon as we have the technology, it will not be long before this scenario is a reality for us. Link to university research projects
We can analyse DNA and scan for major genetic diseases, soon we will be able to choose the features of our kids. Of course this will cost serious money so the rich will have first choices and the rich-poor gap will increase. Insurance companies will want to know so they can increase our premiums - depending on what DNA we have.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
