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I think young people believe everything should happen immediately--that they don't have to wait for things. And they seem to underestimate the effort and sacrifices needed to attain what they want. Those of us who are older did not buy beautiful brand new homes at the age of 23. Young people want a house right out of the gate. And we had to make severe financial sacrifices for years in order to afford the down payment on our first home. We weren't buying sports and concert tickets and going on vacations and driving luxury cars and buying latest cell phones during that time, we were saving towards the house. I don't see this is the case today. I also think young people are incredibly naiive about work too. They want to make over $100,000 but not have to work 40-50 hours a week or put up with managers and coworkers (I see a lot of threads about them wanting to quit because someone at the job annoyed them). There's a lot of unrealistic expectations out there.
This is an oversimplification. My parents bought a $79k 6BR/3BA house in 1994. Prior to that, they owned two other houses. They owned a house almost immediately after graduating from high school, no college degrees for either of them. There was no waiting on their part. Rent is off the charts. I just checked my last no frills apartment that I moved out of in 2015, when I was paying about $700/mo, and it is now going for $1200/mo.
Young people today graduate high school, go to college, and most come out with tens of thousands of dollars of debt to start their adult lives. Add to that the fact that "starter homes" are often out of reach at the current prices. The starting point here is around $400k for a SFH, but you can start with a condo in an undesirable part of town for around $350k.
Childcare is about $1200/mo per child. It's no wonder that they are also putting off raising children, too.
The job market today is incredibly fierce and competitive. We're competing with a global workforce where people can essentially work from anywhere and do the same job at a fraction of the cost as an American can do it. We're seeing with apps like ChatGPT how close we are to being able to automate white collar, professional jobs. Very soon, we'll all be competing with automation and robots.
So, young people turn to things they can afford, such as experiences. They travel the world, they ski, they camp, they bike, they hike, they run, they eat out with friends. These are things that are substantially cheaper than all of the things listed above. And even then, most Millennials I know are in their 30s and 40s, some have kids, and most own homes.
I think that most older people would struggle with the realities that young people face today equally as much or more. I know that my grandparents and parents today are completely lost in the world that exists today, outside of their bubbles.
In college most students look forward to graduating and starting their adult life. When friends start getting engaged and married it seems so exciting to move forward to that new stage in life. Its so exciting to get your first real job out of college and start your career. But if you fast forward 10 years its all not so glamorous. Marriages end or become stale. Having a career wears on you and isn't so fun and exciting anymore. I'm guess this is the way it is for 90% of people.
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What a strange question and post. What I see immediately is that it groups all young people into a single group and then places a stereotype on them. The thread title isn't so much a real question as a rhetorical one to which you apparently have your own answer.
I'm older, I have no idea what any individual young person may be overoptimistic about or underoptimistic about. I do read about suicides in young people, so I suspect that not all are overoptimistic.
Is your real question more along the lines of "What happens to all the life energy in young people?" or is it simply a rumination on your own past experience, or is it something else entirely?
In college most students look forward to graduating and starting their adult life. When friends start getting engaged and married it seems so exciting to move forward to that new stage in life. Its so exciting to get your first real job out of college and start your career. But if you fast forward 10 years its all not so glamorous. Marriages end or become stale. Having a career wears on you and isn't so fun and exciting anymore. I'm guess this is the way it is for 90% of people.
Well sure because those young 20 somethings are starting to be independent adults & this is all new & exciting for them starting that new chapter in their life. It's all these new milestones often happening at once (graduating w/ a degree, those first job interviews, getting the job soon (hopefiully), maybe starting to get engaged, getting a new place).
But, I wouldn't say most are already jaded of it all in 10 yrs. Hopefully, people have a more optimistic mentality than that.
Yes, this is quite common now. Fortunately my kids (older millennials) have been to college, married with a house and kids. The people working for me are all in the 24-32 age group now, one still lives at home, one married but renting and no kids, the others are all single and renting with a "significant other" roommate. I have been surprised at how much time and money they spend on "doing" rather than "things. They would rather travel, go skiing, go to concerts and other events than save to buy a house. When they get a raise, they might move up to a bigger/nicer apartment. They all have cars but nothing new or fancy.
Doesn’t mean they can’t afford a house/marriage, it means they have other priorities. Nothing wrong with that!
I think a lot of people are overly selfish. For instance, if there is a relationship with a big financial gap, at least one person, usually the person making a lot less, doesn't try to "carry their weight" in other aspects of the relationship. They might not help around the household enough, spend too much money even though they are making more as a family unit, etc.
In terms of people renting, I don't think everyone should try to own a home. They might not try to maintain it well. Some people might be too "at-risk" for moving because of their job. It can take up a lot of energy long term to maintain a home. It is a source of pride- no doubt. As some others have mentioned or implied, many things are inflated more than the money a person makes and one of these is definitely owning a home in many places.
Technology has contributed to instant gratification which has contributed to the complexity of these dynamics.
These factors make some people's thoughts that should be more realistic as more unrealistic sadly.
In college most students look forward to graduating and starting their adult life. When friends start getting engaged and married it seems so exciting to move forward to that new stage in life. Its so exciting to get your first real job out of college and start your career. But if you fast forward 10 years its all not so glamorous. Marriages end or become stale. Having a career wears on you and isn't so fun and exciting anymore. I'm guess this is the way it is for 90% of people.
Why would people get married right out of college? These days, few have that expectation. I think in that regard, young people's expectations are more realistic than in the past. Most are no longer rushing into marriage before they've matured fully.
Having a career doesn't "wear on you" if you like your job or find ways to keep it fresh: building your skill set so you can take on new projects or move up in the organization or in your field. Your portrayal of life after college seem like a recycling of old, out-dated cliches from the 50's, OP.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 02-16-2023 at 08:25 AM..
Yes, this is quite common now. Fortunately my kids (older millennials) have been to college, married with a house and kids. The people working for me are all in the 24-32 age group now, one still lives at home, one married but renting and no kids, the others are all single and renting with a "significant other" roommate. I have been surprised at how much time and money they spend on "doing" rather than "things. They would rather travel, go skiing, go to concerts and other events than save to buy a house. When they get a raise, they might move up to a bigger/nicer apartment. They all have cars but nothing new or fancy.
That's always been true of people in their 20's. With their new post-college earning power, they want to see the world (to the extent their budget will allow), enjoy weekend leisure activities, go to concerts. That's what being young is about. Depending on their location, saving to buy a house may not be realistic at all, anyway. Others wait until they get a few raises to start saving, or they may wait until they find a partner to save with for such a big expenditure.
In college most students look forward to graduating and starting their adult life. When friends start getting engaged and married it seems so exciting to move forward to that new stage in life. Its so exciting to get your first real job out of college and start your career. But if you fast forward 10 years its all not so glamorous. Marriages end or become stale. Having a career wears on you and isn't so fun and exciting anymore. I'm guess this is the way it is for 90% of people.
I'm nearly 67, and I do understand the excitement of something new to capture one's imagination and spice life up, but I don't understand the latter portion of your comment. DH and I have been together for 37 years as of this past Monday, and it's never been stale. We've had full experiences in schooling, work, our relationship, and (now) my retirement -- soon to be his. We experience newness in circumstances every day, some good, some not so much, but life has never been boring.
In college most students look forward to graduating and starting their adult life. When friends start getting engaged and married it seems so exciting to move forward to that new stage in life. Its so exciting to get your first real job out of college and start your career. But if you fast forward 10 years its all not so glamorous. Marriages end or become stale. Having a career wears on you and isn't so fun and exciting anymore. I'm guess this is the way it is for 90% of people.
I guess you're disappointed with your life. Most people I know are not. They are enjoying their families and their careers. They are especially enjoying their lives.
You should stop and think about your disappointments and why you have not achieved your goals. Don't project your negativity on others, especially your "90%" non-statistic. Most people are not married right out of school. In fact most people in the US do not get married until they are in their thirties.
"In 2021, the average age of marriage for female participants was 33, while male respondents married at age 35. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 34 years. "
I guess you're disappointed with your life. Most people I know are not. They are enjoying their families and their careers. They are especially enjoying their lives.
You should stop and think about your disappointments and why you have not achieved your goals. Don't project your negativity on others, especially your "90%" non-statistic. Most people are not married right out of school. In fact most people in the US do not get married until they are in their thirties.
"In 2021, the average age of marriage for female participants was 33, while male respondents married at age 35. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 34 years. "
Why do you think your future hasn't met your earlier expectations?
I dont think its disappointment or negative at all, I think its a realization that life isnt all that you imagined it would be. As I've said before, Im not happy, but I am not unhappy either, I just deal with the hand I was dealt and make the most of it. It is certainly different than what I envisioned as a young adult but its not disappointing. I personally feel those that have exciting marriages and enjoy their careers are the ones who are far and few...they are the ones that hit the jackpot.
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