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Old 02-23-2023, 09:06 PM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,115,057 times
Reputation: 15776

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Just to be perfectly frank...

At her AGE, any career/college educated/white collar type of job is far from a given for anybody.

It's not a given for me, and my resume isn't chopped liver, and I have good education and have worked all but a handful of years. I could very well never get another white collar corporate type job the rest of my life.

You only hear on CD Forum the stories of people talking about themselves taking the world by storm. Well, now you're hearing the other side...
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Old 02-23-2023, 09:26 PM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,115,057 times
Reputation: 15776
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot View Post
I don't work with her so I don't know how she really is at work. I only hear her side of the story.
That's the same with everybody.

I've never heard any poster here mention they're anything less than the exemplary worker who slices right through all of their tasks without errors or mistakes.
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Old 02-23-2023, 09:28 PM
 
Location: 53179
14,416 posts, read 22,510,887 times
Reputation: 14480
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
That's the same with everybody.

I've never heard any poster here mention they're anything less than the exemplary worker who slices right through all of their tasks without errors or mistakes.
Lol yes, you are right.
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Old 02-23-2023, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,789 posts, read 15,021,124 times
Reputation: 15348
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot View Post
She was together with her husband before marriage. He was the only one that ever worked supported the family. She was taking care of the kids.

I see. Well, she should have known that it's best to be financially independent as soon as possible for her own well being & her kids. So she's unfortunately paying for it now.
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Old 02-24-2023, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,669 posts, read 84,959,578 times
Reputation: 115226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I've never worked anywhere, where co-workers ask personal questions. I especially wouldn't ask someone from a foreign country where they went to school, because I know nothing about the schools or colleges in most countries, so any answer would be meaningless anyway. To me, it sounds odd that they wanted to know where the UK guy went to school.
I don't, because these are a bunch of engineers asking the question of another engineer. It's a common question asked out of genuine interest in a global profession. In NYC, you have engineers from all over the world. We had a guy working with us on one project who was a Sherpa. Apparently they don't all guide mountainclimbers up Everest.
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Old 02-24-2023, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,669 posts, read 84,959,578 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
That's the same with everybody.

I've never heard any poster here mention they're anything less than the exemplary worker who slices right through all of their tasks without errors or mistakes.
I have, because I once mentioned that the best thing to do if you screw up is say, "It was my mistake, I own it", have an idea for fixing it, and move forward.

But to the OP's story, I have a niece like this. In her 40s, gets fired from job after job after job. The manager is always out to get her. They are jealous because she is smarter and they don't like it when she comes up with better ways to do things than the way they do it now. They try to blame their mistakes on her. And so forth. Over and over these same things happen to her everywhere.
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Old 02-24-2023, 07:01 AM
 
51,656 posts, read 25,878,242 times
Reputation: 37897
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot View Post
I have a best friend and we have known each other pretty much our whole life. She is 41 years old and was married for 12 years and divorced her husband a couple of years ago. During her marriage she never really worked a regular job. He made enough money to support her and their 2 kids.
When they divorced, she was forced to get an education and a job. She managed to graduate trade school and after a couple of tries finding the right program for her, and was receiving job offers shortly after.
She is smart, friendly and a popular friend. But I am concerned for her. She is unable to keep a job and I don't know why. She has been hired and let go several times since she started her career. According to her, it's her coworkers that are rude jerks and they all talk about her behind her back. I have tried to tell her to stop assuming the worst. Maybe it's not what she thinks. Maybe she is showing her attitude on her face and that put people off.
I have brought this up and she swear up and down it's no her, it's them. But how can it not be her at this point. My friend is pretty shy when you first meat her and doesn't talk a whole lot. One of the things she always complains about is how nosy her new coworkers are and ask personal questions she don't want to talk about. I find it so odd. As a friend she is great fun and I just don't understand what the problem is.
How can I help her? Any advice would be appreciated. Maybe I don't see the obvious because of our background. Thanks.
Sounds like very job I ever had.

So, what's her problem? Does she think she is going to find a work environment that's is loving and supportive?

Oh, dare to dream.
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Old 02-24-2023, 07:14 AM
 
51,656 posts, read 25,878,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
Welcome to the work environment. Most places are not for finding friends, they are for doing a job, putting up with $hit, and getting a paycheck.

Your friends needs to grow a pair and put up with the crap that comes along with getting a pay check. As in growing up.

There is nothing you can do to help her. Let her sort it out on her own. Eventually she will get hungry enough to figure it out.
Can't say as I disagree with you here.

With the exception of there is something the OP can do to help her. She can be supportive, and sympathetic, while also being realistic.

This is what the world of work is like. The great places to work are just not that plentiful.
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Old 02-24-2023, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Seacoast NH
352 posts, read 226,436 times
Reputation: 1023
Sounds like she is entitled and expects to be catered to (12 years during marriage when she didn't have to work outside the house) and since beginning her career, she can't hold a job and constantly complains about others affecting her happiness/success at work.

She needs to look in the mirror. When the cycle keeps repeating, the problem is typically within oneself.

I have a couple friends like this. I had to pretty much remove them from my life (limit my conversations to texting a couple times a year) because they are chronic complainers and nothing is ever their fault. They refuse to be accountable.
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Old 02-24-2023, 11:43 AM
 
51,656 posts, read 25,878,242 times
Reputation: 37897
If she can't work around unpleasant people, her options are going to be limited.
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