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Old 03-09-2023, 09:00 AM
 
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I'm guessing you don't want to get with your ex again because he cheated on you a long time ago and you mentioned this. Some people are different and some don't want this. Since it is bothering you, I do like the idea about writing (or typing things out.) Also, what helps me in similar conundrums is not to avoid these situations happening, but rather to find peace.

For me, finding peace is not avoiding to meet the person. Rather, it would be to talk with the person in the dream and express frustration. If you would be open to something physically casual without the emotional strings, you could say this too. Express what you want in your dreams. Is there anything he could do to "make this right"? Would it be getting back with you or breaking up with his current partner and never dating anyone at all (including you?). This is something you need to figure out. What is something that could make this right, and how can you maximize that possibility in your dream? You deal with it because it ain't just going to go away.
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Old 03-09-2023, 09:15 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,634,410 times
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Originally Posted by masterchef1 View Post
In my 20's I had a girlfriend who was from out of state, she stayed in NJ for longer than planned to be with me so the pressure was kinda on at the end of the extra year she stayed here to get engaded.

I was kind of at the end of my party stage of my life but was not ready to have a quicky wedding and have babies as I knew that is what she wanted, so I told her I was not ready and she told me "you are going to regret letting me leave" and I had a hope that one day she would come back to NJ but that never happened. This was before facebook and cell phones were just being started so I lost touch with her. I mailed her a letter to her mom's house about 6 months later asking her to call and she did and informed me she was engaged and "loved" her fiancee.

I really did regret letting her leave as she was the best girlfriend I ever had and was the whole package, I remember once going on a blind date afterwards and some slightly overweight unattractive woman telling me "sorry no sparks" I thought
I fell so far, now even unattractive women are rejecting me and I had a attractive girlfriend who had a great personality and who would do anything for me and I let her go, I was full of regret for years.

I have had vivid dreams about her for 20+ years, that we were together in my dreams mostly. They are getting less and less but I thought I was the only one.


Have you thought about therapy in those 20 yrs? It could help you work through it while you’re awake.
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Old 03-09-2023, 09:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Have you thought about therapy in those 20 yrs? It could help you work through it while you’re awake.
I have thought of going to therapy but never did but at this point in my life the worst is over, I probably would of benefited from afterwards but time heals and my dreams became less and less as time went on.
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