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I know that RBF is easily fixed with a smile. No one says you have to have a fake smile plastered on your face 18 hours a day. But when you're walking along, and you meet eyes with someone, it's not difficult to give a smile.
It is not at all the same as getting plastic surgery, or even struggling with losing weight. You acting like RBF is a calamity is bizarre to me.
I don't know. I don't think I have RBF myself, but I know that smiling doesn't work for my face. People see me in photos and ask why I don't smile, but the truth is, I thought I WAS smiling! So I've looked in the mirror and noticed that when I think I'm smiling, it really doesn't show as a real smile. In order to actually look like I'm smiling, I have to stretch my mouth unnaturally, and then it becomes an inane grin. I look simple-minded, lol. I definitely don't want to look like that. I'll just stick to my natural semi-smile from now on (one niece once said, "Aunt Mighty smiles with her eyes").
I'm just saying, maybe jerseygal4u doesn't have a good smile, either. However, if you start to think all the time that people are going to be put off by your RBF, maybe it would be a good habit to develop to at least slightly smile and say "Good morning" or some such to people. Let them see it in your eyes.
Women are expected to be attractive to men for mating purposes.
Women who are unattractive are seen in the same light as men who are low income and can't provide for their family.
This is how things work on a societal level.
Actually, it's more on an anthropological/biological/evolutionary level, but almost entirely subconscious for both genders. It's all about the survival of the species. Read "The Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fischer. What men find attractive are the signs of good health and good genes for "breeding" purposes. What women find attractive are attributes that will protect and support themselves and their offspring.
As for RBF, no, it's not the same thing as being actually unattractive (so we digress, if not hijack), and I DO smile at people when I encounter them, but you can't run around smiling 24/7 and, unfortunately, I run into quite a few inconsiderate people in the course of pursuing my hobbies who love to play "phone camera sniper" and snap candid pictures of you when you're not ready, which is to say not smiling, which is to say looking b*tchy, and then post them on the world wide web complete with tags. So that's a problem.
Actually, it's more on an anthropological/biological/evolutionary level, but almost entirely subconscious for both genders. It's all about the survival of the species. Read "The Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fischer. What men find attractive are the signs of good health and good genes for "breeding" purposes. What women find attractive are attributes that will protect and support themselves and their offspring.
As for RBF, no, it's not the same thing as being actually unattractive (so we digress, if not hijack), and I DO smile at people when I encounter them, but you can't run around smiling 24/7 and, unfortunately, I run into quite a few inconsiderate people in the course of pursuing my hobbies who love to play "phone camera sniper" and snap candid pictures of you when you're not ready, which is to say not smiling, which is to say looking b*tchy, and then post them on the world wide web complete with tags. So that's a problem.
I'm not entirely certain that it is JUST that (regarding the bold)...as I suspect that some basic predispositions to talent, intelligence, or perhaps athleticism, various qualities that women find appealing in men, may be a drive also to select genes for success.
There is a lot more to creating strong and healthy and successful human offspring than a symmetrical face and shiny hair.
The species thrives not because we are fast runners, or have sharp teeth, or can flap the wings we do not have and fly through the sky...but because we are intelligent and social. Those two things alone have given us what primacy we enjoy, for better or worse, over the rest of our planet.
So the worthiest mates may be the ones who best demonstrate intelligence and social skills. Which, I suspect, is why any display of social "power" (such as leadership, or performance talent on a stage) is usually rewarded no matter if a man has actual wealth or good looks, or he doesn't.
That seems like a distinction without a difference to me... All those traits you mention contribute to both a good gene pool and a secure future for children.
But in general, men select for breeding, women select for upbringing.
That seems like a distinction without a difference to me... All those traits you mention contribute to both a good gene pool and a secure future for children.
But in general, men select for breeding, women select for upbringing.
The distinction is just that you mentioned the "protect and provide" but not what drives the appeal of some of the more charismatic guys (even if women know they may very well "hit it & quit it")...which is that social power has a certain appeal, and for reasons.
And it may not be upbringing, because some aspects of brain wiring could have genetic components to them.
But as I said before, I have never been sure whether to heave a sigh at the notion of being relegated to sorting by "livestock value" as a woman...or to feel sorry for the many men who have run aground following their most basic urges without "thinking with the big head."
/shrug
But there can be so much more to life, though...a great deal more. One COULD see all of this reproductive maneuvering as a distraction that they, individually, could just set aside and ignore. Particularly, I'd think, a woman in the OP's situation. Maybe.
I think I'd be driven to adopt an outrageous personal style, build my intellectual kingdom, achieve great success and live well despite it all. While rolling my eyes in contempt at those whose advice is, "well here's how you could try harder to be ~pretty~." Forget pretty. Let the livestock worry about pretty. Be powerful instead. But hey...that's some of the sentiment from my old snarly teen angsty goth days leaking through, probably. Heh.
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