Why do so many people dismiss the struggles of unattractive women?

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I think with weight, especially, there are people who have never struggled with their weight, probably because of genetic disposition that's aided by diet and exercise, who don't like to believe that what comes easy to them is actually difficult for others. And if these others just tried harder, like they do, they'd have equal success. The thing is, like with the friend you described, Sonic, not everyone who's overweight is going to lose the weight easily, even if they are engaging in healthy behaviors. Perhaps losing the weight might require them to participate in unhealthy behaviors and mentality. Since we're talking about attractiveness, no, you don't have to find an overweight person attractive, but that doesn't mean the person is universally unattractive. Lacking empathy and judging is equally unattractive.

Yep, that's ugly as hell.

[Dave_n_Tenn]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

Yep, that's ugly as hell.

and completely controllable. If it's a behavior you can change or adjust, then the product (who we are) is a choice. It's also correct to say not everyone has the same burden and has the same abilities.

We often call it ..."the ugly truth".

Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is .... and you must bend to its power or live a lie.

[SnazzyB]

Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn

I agree, but the thread topic is directly related to the topic of attractiveness, not jobs, education and children... right?

I agree with those things you mentioned, especially children (family) should have a higher priority.

But I also said your ideas of attractiveness might not jive with other people's ideas of attractiveness.

[pathrunner]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

How do you know they were ‘perfectly happy’, ‘normal’ and ‘well-adjusted men’, lol? They were on TV discussing their preferences for morbidly obese/unhealthy women. In other words, I strongly disagree with you, :-)

How do you know they weren't? Why do you assume they weren't simply because YOU don't agree with it?! Or because apparently you don't find morbidly obese women attractive so how could any other guy? It astounds me that here are these guys on Oprah talking about how they love that their wives are morbidly obese, and you think they're lying - to themselves and others? Wow. There are skeptics, and then there are skeptics. Again,

Your posts are a lot like Bill Maher's rhetoric. He tells people they're wrong even when he agrees with them, to make himself seem more important. Or he'll disagree with them and then smokescreen all around it to make it seem likes he's more intelligent than the guest. There is a perfect explanation and a quite astute one; a very recent takedown of Bill Maher on a popular pop culture website.

What I've noticed is that you challenge almost everyone on this site with your rhetoric and it seems like grandstanding unless you're trying to foment interest and therefore clicks on any particular thread you engage in. Still engaging in the point-by-point takedowns with rhetoric that is obscure and to be honest not very understandable. Maybe it's just that you're not neurotypical? That is not a slam. I'm truly trying to understand. What I mean is, you agree with a lot of people on this thread, but your rhetoric suggests that you don't. And no, don't ask me for examples. They're all over the place!

However, here's one from the instant post: What does this even mean?!
I don’t know what Jardiance is; however, whether or not we find a woman attractive is different than expressed snark/criticism relative to such (in which case they aren’t emotionally healthy themselves).

it's an example of kicking up dust and talking all around a simple statement about a Jardiance commercial, which you admit you haven't seen or even know what Jardiance is. I's easily searched and viewed online.

By the way, I worked for attorneys (which you say you are) for thirty plus years. I know quite well how to read "dense." Yours takes the cake though! Congratulations! I get it's quite useful in the courtroom or at least the conference room. Here, not so much.

How does this kind of constant challenging (which actually creates a diversion) help the OP and others who feel like her?

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Lacking empathy and judging is equally unattractive.

I absolutely agree re: those who display a lack of empathy or compassion; that said, everyone judges/has an opinion relative to what is (or isn’t) attractive to them. In fact, we judge if they’re empathetic or not. :-)

Originally Posted by pathrunner

The woman in the Jardiance commercial (which is super cheesy and kind of annoying) is attractive and dresses well for her size. I'm nowhere near her size, so I admire her willingness to put herself out there, even as pretty as she is and dressed well, because you know there are tons of people at home just snarking away at her appearance.

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

I don’t know what Jardiance is; however, whether or not we find a woman attractive is different than expressed snark/criticism relative to such (in which case they aren’t emotionally healthy themselves).

Originally Posted by pathrunner

It's an example of kicking up dust and talking all around a simple statement about a Jardiance commercial, which you admit you haven't seen or even know what Jardiance is. I's easily searched and viewed online.

From my perspective, you’re ‘kicking up dust’. Why do I need to know what Jardiance is (or look for it online) in order to have a valid comment re: your post and/or to make the distinction between an opinion about attractiveness vs. snark/criticism relative to such (which your post clearly addressed).

Originally Posted by pathrunner

How do you know they weren't? Why do you assume they weren't simply because YOU don't agree with it?!

A woman (or man) who is morbidly obese, per your post, isn’t healthy - physically or psychologically. Hence, it’s not a reach to think the men you’re speaking to have psychological issues as well; else, they’d want a woman who is healthy and not bogged down by her weight or emotions relative to such. Instead, however, they’re most likely thinking about themselves/their fetish (as opposed to what’s best for women they claim to love).

Originally Posted by pathrunner

Or because apparently you don't find morbidly obese women attractive so how could any other guy?

Is it really that controversial I don’t find morbidly obese women attractive, lol? That said, psychologically-well/physically fit women aren’t going to find morbidly obese men attractive, either. It’s not rocket science.

Do you not agree it’s on the individual to improve their own psychological and/or physical health in order to diminish the ‘struggle’, per the thread?

[randomx]

Those guys could;ve easily have been happy if they said they were. Some guys love bigger women had a mate the bigger the better he loved them. My brother quite likes bigger women too he was just saying yesterday he's ladies lost a lot of weight from meds she's on and he can't wait until she's off them again and back to normal , which was pretty hefty but that's how he liked her.
As far as insulting or labelling, l don't mean from just other people , most people know other people come in all shapes and sizes, so what.
l mean the media , the word, label, obese is everywhere now in media it's ridiculous and will be just adding to even more body image pressure on our young people than ever, and like they don't already have enough of that these days.
Only time you'd ever hear a term like that 25yrs ago was for a real obese person 2 or 300 kg.

[pathrunner]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

I absolutely agree re: those who display a lack of empathy or compassion; that said, everyone judges/has an opinion relative to what is (or isn’t) attractive to them. In fact, we judge if they’re empathetic or not. :-)

From my perspective, you’re ‘kicking up dust’. Why do I need to know what Jardiance is (or look for it online) in order to have a valid comment re: your post and/or to make the distinction between an opinion about attractiveness vs. snark/criticism relative to such (which your post clearly addressed).


A woman (or man) who is morbidly obese, per your post, isn’t healthy - physically or psychologically. Hence, it’s not a reach to think the men you’re speaking to have psychological issues as well; else, they’d want a woman who is healthy and not bogged down by her weight or emotions relative to such. Instead, however, they’re most likely thinking about themselves/their fetish (as opposed to what’s best for women they claim to love).


Is it really that controversial I don’t find morbidly obese women attractive, lol? That said, psychologically-well/physically fit women aren’t going to find morbidly obese men attractive, either. It’s not rocket science.

Did I say it was controversial? You're implying that I did, when you are the one who brought it up.

The issue I brought up wasn't whether obesity is healthy. It was whether or not a man (or theoretically a woman) finds an obese person attractive.

I did not say it was "controversial" that you don't find morbidly obese women attractive. It was your denial that actual men stated on national TV they prefer an obese woman. And now you assume that they have psychological issues themselves! This is just insane, and getting worse.

If you don't need to know what Jardiance is, don't refer to it. Simply don't bring it up. Many of us simply pass over that which doesn't interest us, or what others have competently covered already.

I can guarantee you right now that there are people on this very site who are obese and happily married. I know of two couples in my personal life, though I haven't seen them for years. They are in it for the long haul.

And I find it interesting that you assume an obese person isn't psychologically healthy! Don't assume. You. don't. know. Further, you deny that men who clearly state they prefer their wives to be obese is lying or.... something. I know obese people who are healthy. Their doctors admit it. The numbers don't lie. They're just big.

This is all so tedious. But I'm thinking that's actually your intent. The constant back and forth where you challenge people. Have I ever seen you agree with someone on this site? I don't think so. What I've seen is constant challenges, even when you seem to agree with someone (not me, others)! But you couch it is such as way as to make it a challenge instead of simply acknowledging that someone else has brought up a valid point. I've seen it time and again. Again, I'm not referring to myself. I'm referring to what I see toward other peoples' posts.

And again, how is all of this helping the OP? The OP brought up very valid points about her experiences, her feelings and her struggles, and here we all are almost 600 posts later belaboring the same points ad infinitum. I have dipped in and out of this thread, but really.....

[PJSaturn]

It's hopeless. The back-and-forth arguing and off-topic commentary has ruined this thread. It's now closed.