Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's always the same answer to virtually any life issue.
And quite frankly, I'm tired of it.
You hear it from others (are they trying to comfort you?) no matter what happens to you.
"Stay active,engage in interests and hobbies that you enjoy" - when you go through a divorce, when you retire, when you move, when you lose your job, when you are going through a breakup, when you quit smoking...I could go on and on.
Instead, I think having a mini meltdown is completely normal. Bursting into tears, or lashing out in anger because you feel out of control, and overwhelmed with pressures and things in your life that are unpredictable.
I don't believe for a minute that it means there is something 'wrong' with you.
In my opinion its an indication that you’re going through a challenging time and some of your personal and emotional needs are not being met.
Emerging from a mini meltdown can be so cathartic.
Everyone deals with life's challenges in different ways. I have divorced, retired, moved several times, I didn't have a meltdown of any type. Actually, those events made me feel in control. I could see how someone that didn't feel in control would have a mini meltdown or worse.
Lashing out in anger? I don't really get that. Is it in blaming someone for your situation?
By saying "stay active, engage in interests.........", that isn't saying that something is wrong with someone, but encouraging them not to dwell or emerge themselves in self-pity to the point they stop functioning, which far too many people end up doing.
It's always the same answer to virtually any life issue.
And quite frankly, I'm tired of it.
You hear it from others (are they trying to comfort you?) no matter what happens to you.
"Stay active,engage in interests and hobbies that you enjoy" - when you go through a divorce, when you retire, when you move, when you lose your job, when you are going through a breakup, when you quit smoking...I could go on and on.
Instead, I think having a mini meltdown is completely normal. Bursting into tears, or lashing out in anger because you feel out of control, and overwhelmed with pressures and things in your life that are unpredictable.
I don't believe for a minute that it means there is something 'wrong' with you.
In my opinion its an indication that you’re going through a challenging time and some of your personal and emotional needs are not being met.
Emerging from a mini meltdown can be so cathartic.
I've always had the attitude, when something bad happens "I can be a mess TODAY. Tomorrow, I might need to pull it together." Now...that line of thinking is adjustable. For instance, if you've experienced a sudden death of a loved one, it's going to take longer than a day to pull it together...but I've always given myself permission to feel my grief, fear, anger, etc.
Usually what people say to me is, "Damn, that's going to leave a mark".
No one, in my nearly 70 years, has ever said that I still had my interests and hobbies when I've had something bad happen. They have, however, said that at least I'm still alive. That was after my last heart attack, plus some other "adventures".
Lashing out in anger? I don't really get that. Is it in blaming someone for your situation?
Oh gosh, no - don't lash out at someone...or worse, explode on the person closest to you. I'm talking about relatively benign behaviors. Examples include punching a pillow, throwing another soft object, or yelling in the shower.
Usually what people say to me is, "Damn, that's going to leave a mark".
No one, in my nearly 70 years, has ever said that I still had my interests and hobbies when I've had something bad happen. They have, however, said that at least I'm still alive. That was after my last heart attack, plus some other "adventures".
LOL. I use that one too.
OP, I think that advice is about how to pull yourself out of a meltdown. I don't think it suggests that meltdowns aren't warranted.
"Emerging from a mini meltdown can be so cathartic."
for you.
we have been on the "receiving end" of those minis.
MIL provides most of them. not fun for my wife.
yes, MIL "gets it all out", and is fine for a few days
until the next one. thankfully, MIL has only hurt
with her words and not physically "acted out".
OP, I think that advice is about how to pull yourself out of a meltdown. I don't think it suggests that meltdowns aren't warranted.
This. An initial reactive meltdown when something goes wrong isn't the issue. Wallowing in that state is. I refer to meltdowns as letting my inner child cry, sulk, pout, release anger, whatever. But you gotta get over it eventually. Falling back on a pleasant or familiar activity can help you do that. When someone sees another person floundering in the thick of something, that advice is an attempt to remind them how to stop.
By saying "stay active, engage in interests.........", that isn't saying that something is wrong with someone, but encouraging them not to dwell or emerge themselves in self-pity to the point they stop functioning, which far too many people end up doing.
Not to mention, keeping busy and having a life that you enjoy will keep you from doing nothing but dwelling on whatever is bothering you, which will only make it worse.
This is advice often given *from people who have been there and know it works*.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
