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Just FYI there's plenty of porn -- and I mean plenty -- where the dude is the one getting slapped around et cetera (without going into a lot of detail).
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Oh, I do believe that men in gay porn get abused too.
I have a friend that was a CSI in a major city. Another friend was a lieutenant on the SWAT team.
Both said that you have no idea how many males and females in a large city are found dead hanging with their feet a few inches off the ground. It's a result of self imposed sexual asphixiation. They were after that ultimate orgasm.
I have a friend that was a CSI in a major city. Another friend was a lieutenant on the SWAT team.
Both said that you have no idea how many males and females in a large city are found dead hanging with their feet a few inches off the ground. It's a result of self imposed sexual asphixiation. They were after that ultimate orgasm.
Woah it's that common huh? Shudder. Don't try this alone kids, at least have a buddy who can help if you pass out.
One of the reasons is that a lot of young men have seen lots of porn long before they ever actually touch a woman, so it might take time for them to recalibrate to what an actual woman might want.
Those men who are addicted to porn don't care what women want.
Just FYI there's plenty of porn -- and I mean plenty -- where the dude is the one getting slapped around et cetera (without going into a lot of detail).
Agree 100%. I may be old fashioned, but where's the fun in watching porn if you can do so non-stop and without having to sneak off to the bad part of town? It really is way too available and that often means overconsumption. In fact a lot of things should have the stigma reattached but that's another subject...
I don't think that the stigma really helps that much. Because some people are really into shame.
I mean, one of my favorite parallels in looking at psychological and behavioral relationships is between how we think of sex, and how we think of food. It can really tell you a great deal about a person.
So if a grown adult CAN buy a whole cake and eat it even if they know it will make them unwell or gain weight or whatever...how is that individual's impulse control? What is it about people on diets who sneak and cheat on their diets or announce to everyone that they are breaking their own rules and then wallow in guilt about it?
I have literally seen women CRY because they broke their diets and struggled so hard with impulse control.
And I'm over here like... I eat what I want, but I don't have this intense drive to consume loads of unhealthy stuff. I could eat a whole bag of Oreos if I wanted to. No one and nothing is stopping me. The only reason I don't is because that sounds gross. Eating anything past the precise point of comfort, like the instant my taste buds feel overstimulated, I'm like "ack, no." For me that is probably like two cookies.
Well, so. Some say, "you're lucky." But why, I wonder, do I have no craving that overpowers my willpower? Why is it so "easy" for me to stop...in fact it would be very difficult for me to continue eating something past my own "wall" on it... What on earth is the difference between me and that person who feels some drive to sit and eat a whole package of sugary whatever EVEN when it is making them feel sick? And then cry later about it or beat themselves up?
Is the feeling of naughtiness that you broke a rule, shame shame you bad girl/boy...like is that part of the draw?
Now setting aside food, how about sexual stimulation, porn...? Oh yeah. Our sexual arousal buttons in our brains get really activated by concepts of taboo or naughty or rule breaking (likely because stepping outside of cultural rules results in creating offspring based on drives to fit mates, I'd guess, rather than responsible and smart planning. Nature likes to be tricky like that.) Though of course humans are a lot more complex than our most basic instincts, but I think it's fair to see some biological causality for those essential impulses. But evolution couldn't have foreseen internet porn, though.
Point I'm getting at is that shame and stigma won't take away the availability of internet porn, and it likely drives overconsumption of it, rather than limiting it. Because feeling "shame" for a lot of people, the "oh this is naughty, I shouldn't but I'm gonna" factor...for some that is going to just goad their impulses. Not inhibit them.
So there is, I think, a bigger underlying situation for someone who does not manage to fill their free time with more healthy or varied pursuits. A man who is porn addicted often (from the ones I've known) reaches a state where it takes them HOURS to get anywhere with the activity they're doing, so to speak. The question I've got is...who has that much time to devote to that and why on earth don't they have anything better to do?
Frankly, excepting paid work (and one could argue on that one, too)...I just think that modern American people are spending wayyyy too much time at home in front of screens and it is damaging us in a myriad of serious ways, and this is just one of them. Not to be cliché, but at some point that phrase "You need to go touch grass" is gonna aligned with the same vibe as, "You need Jesus." Like, we've got to get back to reality. Funny that I'm saying this on the internet, but...there it is.
It should be noted that there are also men who are into erotic asphyxiation. It's not just the realm of women.
A couple of male celebrities seem to have succumbed to it.
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