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Are there any generally accepted causes of gerontophobia? Specifically, the fear of, disdain for, and hatred of the elderly. Any explanations would be appreciated.
"In most cases, a traumatic episode in the past may be responsible. A child close to a grandparent may have watched them die, leading to a permanent fear of old age, aging, and, in general, about all elderly people. Abuse by (or unsavory interaction with) an elderly person can also trigger this phobia. Most Gerontophobes cannot recall the exact event which led to their fear."
I think "phobia" is overused, as everything is a "phobia" anymore, and that it is really bitterness toward a group of people.
Anyone here ever been forced to hug or kiss an adult relative goodbye when they were a small child, say three or four, and didn't want to? Like maybe an elderly aunt, uncle, or grandparent who smelled like liquor, icky perfume or cologne, bad breath, or pee? That kind of thing can scar a kid and create a bad association in someone's mind. Never understood forcing a kid to have physical contact with someone that way. Total boundary violation.
Or maybe as adults, people on some level see their future in elderly people and they fear and dread it for themselves.
I think there could be a sexist element to it, too. Older women are villified from the time we hear our first fairy tale about wicked witches, who are almost always old and almost always jealous of pretty young things.
I've always loved older people, even when I was a teenager, so hatred or fear of the elderly is foreign to me. My parents had me late in life, so they were older than the other kids' parents at the time, so maybe that's part of it. My father was a WWII vet but some of my classmates' fathers fought in Viet Nam. I've always found older people fascinating, with all the things they lived through that I didn't. I loved hearing the details of their daily lives--what they wore, how they socialized, how they did things, what they ate, how much things cost, what was considered cutting edge back then, etc. I still love hearing those stories, and can only hope that one day, some college kid doing volunteer work at an old folks' home is just as fascinated when I start talking about life before the internet and cell phones, and how ten scents a minute for long-distance phone calls was considered a good deal.
I don't have a fear of the elderly, per se. But many that I encounter are bitter, grumpy, and downright mean. What's it attributed to? Years of failure, abuse, never living up to their expectations, physical pain, mental illness? I don't know, but it often makes feeling any sort of appreciation towards those who are this way difficult. Many of the elderly who live in our neighborhood are bat* crazy and live on the verge of a mental crisis. One octogenarian down the street has had numerous breakdowns and made countless threats to neighbors on either side of him. I observe lots of hatred and bigotry from them, from snarky political bumper stickers to straight up rudeness at the grocery store. Buddha forbid I ever end up like that.
I don't have a fear of the elderly, per se. But many that I encounter are bitter, grumpy, and downright mean. What's it attributed to? Years of failure, abuse, never living up to their expectations, mental illness? I don't know, but it often makes feeling any sort of appreciation towards those who are this way difficult. Many of the elderly who live in our neighborhood are bat* crazy and live on the verge of a mental crisis.
Being cast aside and treated like a second-class citizen via ageism will do that to a person.
Being cast aside and treated like a second-class citizen via ageism will do that to a person.
The way I see it, you can either keep up with the times or be left behind. Unfortunately, a lot of these people seem to be stuck in a time and mindset long ago. The happier seniors I come across seem to embrace the advances of a modern society.
The way I see it, you can either keep up with the times or be left behind. Unfortunately, a lot of these people seem to be stuck in a time and mindset long ago. The happier seniors I come across seem to embrace the advances of a modern society.
ZOOOOOMMMM! That's the sound of my point flying right over your head. In fact, you assuming that "a lot" of "these people" are "stuck" is pretty ageist of YOU.
Focus on where it says that 93% of the people in the study reported experiencing every-day ageism, such as hearing, seeing, or reading jokes about older adults and hearing, seeing, or reading things that suggest older adults are unattractive; people assuming they have difficulty hearing or seeing, difficulty with cell phones and computers, and difficulty remembering or understanding things; people insisting on helping them with things they can do for themselves; and people assuming they do not do anything important or valuable.
Older people get bombarded by messages like that all day long, every day. Instead of going on about how they seem to be "stuck" in a "long ago" mindset, how about you actually try to learn something from them? They have a lot to offer.
ZOOOOOMMMM! That's the sound of my point flying right over your head. In fact, you assuming that "a lot" of "these people" are "stuck" is pretty ageist of YOU.
Focus on where it says that 93% of the people in the study reported experiencing every-day ageism, such as hearing, seeing, or reading jokes about older adults and hearing, seeing, or reading things that suggest older adults are unattractive; people assuming they have difficulty hearing or seeing, difficulty with cell phones and computers, and difficulty remembering or understanding things; people insisting on helping them with things they can do for themselves; and people assuming they do not do anything important or valuable.
Older people get bombarded by messages like that all day long, every day. Instead of going on about how they seem to be "stuck" in a "long ago" mindset, how about you actually try to learn something from them? They have a lot to offer.
Oh, please. You're making a lot of character judgments about me without knowing anything about me. We live around plenty of older people who we have good relationships with. Our direct neighbor to the right are in their 60s and 70s and we have a wonderful relationship with them. We play with their dog, and get tips from them about lawn care and gardening. We're friendly with the 80-something behind us, too, but she's a bit of a recluse.
But I can't fix the hostility that comes from legions of other grumpy older people I encounter IRL or on the internet. The crazy 80-something down the street from us? Yeah, I've even tried talking to him. We are friendly, but that's as far as it's going. He's one bipolar episode away from shooting someone or attacking them with a machete. A lot of the people I'm referring to have a wall up thicker than Fort Knox. They aren't interested in what a younger person has to say or anyone who's different from them for that matter. It's evident from tons of discussions on this very forum I've had with them. I have nothing to gain from anyone who's stuck in the past and bitter about it. Period. It's not a fear thing or anything else. I just don't like grumpy, mean, bigots/xenophobes no matter the age.
Last edited by digitalUID; 05-09-2023 at 04:46 PM..
my impression is that many people have an aversion to the elderly due to their own panic terror fear upset or anxiety about growing old themself. they don't want to face that literally look it in the face, because they don't like the idea of it, which translates to they don't like old people because they don't want to grow old or be old.
it is inevitable they will be that old person one day. they don't like that.
ZOOOOOMMMM! That's the sound of my point flying right over your head. In fact, you assuming that "a lot" of "these people" are "stuck" is pretty ageist of YOU.
Focus on where it says that 93% of the people in the study reported experiencing every-day ageism, such as hearing, seeing, or reading jokes about older adults and hearing, seeing, or reading things that suggest older adults are unattractive; people assuming they have difficulty hearing or seeing, difficulty with cell phones and computers, and difficulty remembering or understanding things; people insisting on helping them with things they can do for themselves; and people assuming they do not do anything important or valuable.
Older people get bombarded by messages like that all day long, every day. Instead of going on about how they seem to be "stuck" in a "long ago" mindset, how about you actually try to learn something from them? They have a lot to offer.
Our current POTUS can relate to this and the smirking jerks who attempt to allude to his lack of capabilities either never listen to him speak or are so close-minded it doesn't matter. This country in general seems to have zero respect for the elderly (Ok, Boomer...etc) and is in my opinion a real societal issue.
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