Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-26-2023, 08:16 AM
 
19,654 posts, read 12,239,759 times
Reputation: 26458

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
So true. I think the bigger issue is toxic negativity -- constant focus on the negative so that even small things become overwhelming.
This isn't about that topic though. It is about toxic positivity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-26-2023, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
12,047 posts, read 8,433,033 times
Reputation: 44823
Well I think the bottom line of being out of touch is telling your problems to strangers and expecting to get support without unpleasantries.

There are always people out there more troubled than us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-03-2023, 09:03 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,021,357 times
Reputation: 26919
SM tends to be competitive. Look at me, look at my beautiful vacation, look at my genius child, look at my expensive furniture.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-05-2023, 10:17 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,680 posts, read 3,876,576 times
Reputation: 6028
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Does social media encourage us to lie to ourselves? Not the lying to others to look better or one up, but denying or hiding from reality ourselves because everything is supposed to be so positive all the time. If we aren't positive we may be told to stop complaining or being a "downer". What about people who are actually depressed or going through some difficulty. Or just living a real life of ups and downs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
I think it can cause confusion in people who are not always happy, of course none of us are always happy and we weren't designed that way. We may be less encouraged to deal with issues if we can push it down inside, go on social media and get a dose of fake positivity.
In terms of psychology, I think the distinction needs to be made re: social media as public entertainment vs. private interaction. If one is looking for help with personal issues, social media is not the place to turn. Most folks don’t use it to ‘complain’, because they prefer to confide in a romantic partner, friends or family members directly rather than communicate such in a more public setting (and understandably so). Else, you never know where it’s going (or where it’s been).

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
This isn't about that topic though. It is about toxic positivity.
Don’t look to social media for answers relative to psychological health, and you won’t have to deal with (what you perceive to be) toxic positivity - or toxic negativity, for that matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Well I think the bottom line of being out of touch is telling your problems to strangers and expecting to get support without unpleasantries.
Why would anyone be listening to a stranger’s problems and conveying unpleasantries?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Southern MN
12,047 posts, read 8,433,033 times
Reputation: 44823
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post


Why would anyone be listening to a stranger’s problems and conveying unpleasantries?
I suppose that question is rhetorical?

Each individual has his own reason. We read, even here sometimes, and see someone responding to another's post with unwarranted rudeness. I guess it's easy to wonder "What in the world is eating that person?"

Just had a perverse chuckle. It is pretty crazy, isn't it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 09:28 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,586,529 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
In terms of psychology, I think the distinction needs to be made re: social media as public entertainment vs. private interaction. If one is looking for help with personal issues, social media is not the place to turn. Most folks don’t use it to ‘complain’, because they prefer to confide in a romantic partner, friends or family members directly rather than communicate such in a more public setting (and understandably so). Else, you never know where it’s going (or where it’s been).

Don’t look to social media for answers relative to psychological health, and you won’t have to deal with (what you perceive to be) toxic positivity - or toxic negativity, for that matter.


Love this! Social media is not meant to be about fixing ppl’s mental health or psychological problems. When ppl think it is…that’s the problem!



edit:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Each individual has his own reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Just had a perverse chuckle.


Tho they are unhealthy & unhappy themselves if they follow ppl on social media only to make rude comments, harass ppl, or to get a perverse chuckle out of it. There’s no reason for that! I’ve had it happen to me…a lot. Men will perversely comment on my fashion, fitness, makeup or lifestyle hack videos. Why are they even there? So…what I see is that it’s the followers with psychological issues & toxicity.

Last edited by TashaPosh; 06-06-2023 at 10:13 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 09:58 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,352,087 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Does social media encourage us to lie to ourselves? Not the lying to others to look better or one up, but denying or hiding from reality ourselves because everything is supposed to be so positive all the time. If we aren't positive we may be told to stop complaining or being a "downer". What about people who are actually depressed or going through some difficulty. Or just living a real life of ups and downs.

What is complaining anyway? Say someone talks about their day and the things that happened. person 1- Today my car broke down and the tow truck took two hours in the rain, and the mechanic seemed like a rip off. Person 2- Today I got a promotion, my kid got all As at school and the weather was beautiful. They are both true. One is not more legit than another. One does not deserve to be called "complaining" or "venting" (negative connotation), while the other gets pats on the back, they are both reality. They are both someone's story.

I think it can cause confusion in people who are not always happy, of course none of us are always happy and we weren't designed that way. We may be less encouraged to deal with issues if we can push it down inside, go on social media and get a dose of fake positivity.
I would say yes to the initial question in the thread. This is a very nuanced topic the more I think about it. Now, I am no psychologist so feel free to check everything I say with someone who actually is a psychologist.

From what I see, there are a lot of groups on social media (for lack of a better term) that encourage hiding from reality. In my opinion, this is a bit older than social media. I have always seen people throw "Think positive!!!" around. Yet, their way of going about it looks a lot like being delusional to me. If I have a problem, I can't trick myself into thinking I don't have that problem. Sooner or later, the truth comes out.

As for complaining, to me, complaining is when you go on constantly about an issue. Now, it is okay to acknowledge an issue, but to go on and on about it constantly, that is when people are more prone to say "Enough!!!" If there is an issue that is bothering you, it is better to do something to resolve the issue. Now, again, acknowledging your problem and even venting is okay to a certain extent. Sometimes, you have to get it out. But it is better to keep it to a small extent, and acknowledging your problem is not necessarily complaining.

As a whole, social media is not an example of a healthy way to deal with things. It is more of a "safe haven" for people who may not have the best mental health to "vomit".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,234 posts, read 2,407,216 times
Reputation: 5894
Honestly, I never understood people who want to air out their dirty laundry on social media. Yes, everyone has problems and not everything is perfect all the time, but why do people want others to know about their private business? I would only share my problems with people I really trust in person. I guess I'm more of a private person. I sometimes think that people who always talk about their issues on social media are just looking for attention..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 03:32 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,680 posts, read 3,876,576 times
Reputation: 6028
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
I sometimes think that people who always talk about their issues on social media are just looking for attention..
I agree; that said, I question the folks who waste their time following/listening to it as well. It’s clear both ‘sides’ have some issues re: psychological health.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-06-2023, 09:26 PM
bu2
 
24,108 posts, read 14,899,793 times
Reputation: 12952
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Wow I didn't realize there was a term for this. I was reading the article and nodding my head yup, yup, yup.
I will bookmark that, it is exactly what I meant. Social media feeds it but plenty of people individually are like that too. It is frustrating when say they want to offer support but shut you down right and left.

I had to cut someone off who was constantly doing this, she does it to herself too. She apologized for saying she had a bad day when someone she knew died. Was it supposed to be a good day? This almost seems like a mental illness.
There's nothing toxic about being positive. People just have different ways of dealing with tough situations.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top