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I encounter so many people online who have such a grandiose opinion of themselves, their stature, their abilities, etc. Very little self-awareness, self-deprecation, nor vulnerability exhibited. These people are all seemingly the "best at what they do", held in the highest regard amongst all their peers, have never made any mistakes in life, elite in most facets of life, no regrets.
I have so many honest conversations with people in real life about their vulnerabilities, mistakes, desires to improve, but online it seems like many people are playing a character or maintaining a facade.
What is it about online that makes people behave in this manner? Wouldn't you think the veil of anonymity would allow them to be more open, honest, and vulnerable?
If you were an insufferable narcissist, political junkie or just liked to constantly share hundreds of pictures of your cat Fluffy, you would run out of people in real life to impose yourself upon.
I encounter so many people online who have such a grandiose opinion of themselves, their stature, their abilities, etc. Very little self-awareness, self-deprecation, nor vulnerability exhibited. These people are all seemingly the "best at what they do", held in the highest regard amongst all their peers, have never made any mistakes in life, elite in most facets of life, no regrets.
I have so many honest conversations with people in real life about their vulnerabilities, mistakes, desires to improve, but online it seems like many people are playing a character or maintaining a facade.
What is it about online that makes people behave in this manner? Wouldn't you think the veil of anonymity would allow them to be more open, honest, and vulnerable?
I first started posting on message boards (not here) during the 2000 election. It was the Wild West.
Two, three posts and the flame wars were on. Bush vs. Gore. Remember the days after the election leading up to Bush being declared the winner? Oh, that was crazy time to be posting on a message board.
Today on C/D we’re more civil or maybe not. Maybe the civility is a result of the board is closely moderated. Take away the moderators… and watch the knives come out.
But why pretend to be something you're not when posting on C/D?
Maybe there is a valid point to this if there were actually open-minded discussions taking place. In all my reading here, I've rarely seen a response worthy of what you're describing. A response akin to "That's an interesting point, I never thought of it that way" or "Great point, I need to re-evaluate my view". Instead, I see a lot of what you describe in your 3rd paragraph; a resemblance to butting heads, inflated sense of expertise, hubris, a lack of vulnerability, and a deficit of open-mindedness to different perspectives.
And I wholeheartedly disagree with you that this forum is some sort of pinnacle of open and free discussion encompassing a large swath of diverse thought. This forum, by and large, skews older, rural (ironically?), and conservative. It may seem great overall if you fit that mold. However, if you profess any progressive ideas or opinions that mostly relate to urban-bound, younger demographics or anything considered 'too mainstream' for that matter, these are not exactly exemplified on this forum. Which, love it or hate it, is something that reddit does offer up in abundance. The mods and admins do, for the most part, hold content accountable. While there may be an evident slant or bias on some subs, most shared information is coming reliable sources. Objectivity is more so prevalent on subs like /r/science and /r/neutralnews. I believe it's in the rules of either of those subs that all comments be cited from reliable sources.
A. Where did I say this was a "pinnacle of open and free thought?"
B. Interesting that I don't see this as a rural and conservative forum, but more liberal and progressive oriented in many discussions.
A. Where did I say this was a "pinnacle of open and free thought?"
B. Interesting that I don't see this as a rural and conservative forum, but more liberal and progressive oriented in many discussions.
Not even close. Some of the most active subs on this forum are predominantly right-wing leaning havens who disseminate all sorts of misleading rubbish from far leaning sources. There is plenty of testament to this here and outside these walls. I agree, there are some progressive or centrist members, including some mods. But they are not producing the majority of the content either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
Wouldn't let me add rep point but spot on.
You seem to like to go out of your way to dogpile in threads that rub you the wrong way. These responses are completely unnecessary and off topic. If you want to agree on a specific point that someone offers up, then quote it and explain why. If you want to back pat someone for the sheer demonstration of unified opposition, then DM them or leave them a rep comment.
Key point being, that it is your perception does not make it true. In actuality, it is life experience/the mistakes we’ve made that teach us the most (and why folks are often unwavering in their opinion).
Possessing an unwavering opinion on a topic is not the same thing as dismissing others' concerns in a condescending, arrogant manner. You can have an unwavering opinion on something and still demonstrate patience and empathy for others. These aren't mutually exclusive ideals.
Right, but the thread is still about your perception/judgement, at the end of the day. That someone posts an opinion (and feels strongly about it) or doesn’t share their mistakes or flaws, as you previously mentioned, does not mean they are narcissistic or that they think their life is perfect.
I said these behaviors are narcissistic. I didn't say they were narcissists. I've elaborated on that quite a bit, as a matter of fact.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy
Rather, it is those who feel others must post or behave the way in which they want/expect that are being closed-minded or narcissistic. That said, you have every right to your opinion as well. :-)
So if I create another thread criticizing racism and racist behavior, does that make me a narcissist, too? I didn't realize critiquing something makes you a narcissist. That said, you have every right to your opinion as well. :-)
When you’re critiquing someone based on your personal feelings (as to how they aren’t measuring up to your expectations in how they post, when you don’t even know them), yes - it seems narcissistic. (I didn’t say you were a narcissist.)
Well, then I guess welcome to the club, friend. Because that's precisely what you're doing here.
Dues are $200/yr. I take Venmo, cash, or personal checks. Make checks out to Narcissists Anonymous.
As far as expecting people to behave a certain way, quote me on record as having said that. I'll wait.
Last edited by digitalUID; 08-16-2023 at 02:52 PM..
Well, then I guess welcome to the club, friend. Because that's precisely what you're doing here.
Nah, I’ve simply stated my opinion relative to your thread (in an empathetic manner toward others). You opened the door to judgement by creating such a thread; it comes across as holier-than-thou, as if ‘rampant narcissism’ permeates the forum, but (it is implied) your posts are always perfect and convey just the right amount of personal information/empathy (not). In fact, most of your posts are highly-critical, personally vindictive, often irrelevant/inaccurate and amount to nothing more than grade-school criticism and insults.
Quote:
Originally Posted by digitalUID
Dues are $200/yr. I take Venmo, cash, or personal checks. Make checks out to Narcissists Anonymous.
Too funny; apparently you don’t approve of my posts, either. Add me to the list of those who don’t meet your expectations.
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 08-16-2023 at 03:36 PM..
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I didn't realize critiquing something makes you a narcissist. That said, you have every right to your opinion as well. :-)
