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Old 10-01-2023, 10:09 AM
 
Location: East TN
10,979 posts, read 9,617,516 times
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I retired from my job due to stress and frustration. It was the best thing I ever did. After retirement, I still would get myself all in a lather over some little injustice, or having to pay an unnecessary expense, etc. I realized that it was really bugging me and making me unhappy when I have to deal with stupid situations and argue with dunderheads on the phone. At some point I just said "STOP" to myself. If it's not super important, and if I have no control over it, I just have to let it go. It's not worth getting my blood pressure up dealing with a bunch of bullsh**. Now, I usually just let it go. I tell myself that life is too short to spend any of it letting myself (and my emotions) be jerked around by others. If I have to, I repeat over and over to myself the opening line of Desiderata.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence...
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Old 10-01-2023, 01:39 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,999 posts, read 63,313,910 times
Reputation: 92476
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
I get the feeling that this situation is worse now than it was 30-40-50 years ago. I'm glad I aged out of the system. I don't think there is any way I could work in the corporate world now and survive mentally and emotionally. It was bad enough as it was. I used to say I could write a book after 30+ years in the legal field. I'm talking high-end major corporate stuff in a major city (two, actually). As time went on, I forgot a lot of the things that happened. If I started writing that memoir I would probably start remembering things but why would that be a good thing?

I love what you wrote, HodgePodge: half-donkey. Gave me a laugh.

Oh, and last year I took what I thought was going to be a nice little part time job to make some money in retirement. What a horrible, horrible experience. Big Box Retail. People don't give a mouse's behind. Not even the store manager where I worked until I couldn't take it anymore. He was actually one of the worst but it went right down to the lowest of the low. I was completely shocked how people slack these days. They just don't care. But that's far different than OP who wants to do a good job and be part of something successful and positive. Oh, and I was really p.o.'d that my plans were thwarted by idiots who don't want to do a good job, and a lot of that was actually corporate's fault.

I wonder why companies don't do something about employee morale and productivity inserted of just "getting another body in here." (Something I actually heard an attorney bark at the office manager when his secretary walked out on him in the middle of the day.)
My husband did the same thing after retirement. After running his own company, and having a killer work ethic, it became too stressful for him to work with the incompetent workers and management…not to mention some of the customers. For the last few years he worked on the team that set up the displays, so at least he got left alone to do his work.
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Old 10-01-2023, 05:47 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,852 posts, read 52,259,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
I found your post interesting because I used to care too much about too many things. As time goes on and I get older (I'm almost old enough to be your parent) and the way society (politics, economics, culture) is going it's been easier somehow to stop caring about some things. I still get emotional over relationships and animals, and the state of our country but I think I understand how you feel about job and career. I used to work a jobs that made rich and powerful people even more rich and powerful. It was not a good feeling at all. But the money was good and until 1990 the benefits were also good. Then things went downhill and I'm glad I'm out of the rat race.

I have regrets about not doing certain careers I would have loved to try, but I still liked some aspects of the work I did. That doesn't make up for the stress and negativity while doing it though. I too feel like I wasted a huge chunk of my life doing something that was not really rewarding for me. My career path veered when Affirmative Action was made into law and I could not get into graduate school (there were far fewer schools back then - an understatement). That's when my path took a hard right.

If it's any consolation, it helps to remember that a large percent of the population feels like you do, though they might not talk about it or admit it.

One thing that helped me was to do as good a job as I could (under the ubiquitous bad management, etc.), but when I saw that no one else gave a crap, I started caring less and sometimes I was even able to start not giving a crap at all.

One of the things that made it hard for me was that I was not a drinker or a druggie. One day I "woke up" and realized that almost every single person at my then law firm was a heavy drinker, a heavy pot smoker, a heavy cocaine user (usually the attorneys) and many of them engaged in extra-martial affairs. None of that is my style and I used to facetiously wonder if I should start and whether it would help my stress levels. Glad I didn't. But I have to say, the stress of working in that field made me neurotic, as it did others as well.
I wonder how many people do think like I do, as you've mentioned. I think some people can do a better job of compartmentalizing things than myself. Today is Sunday, before the job change I'd have such dread and anxiety on Sundays, was actually worse than Monday, if that makes any sense.

This new role is basically acting as an inspector of sorts of the last role I was in. Verifying something performs is much easier than making something perform. As such I'm finding myself feeling like im not cutout for this job. I'm 54 now, I have to decide how long to stay in the corporate grind.

62 might be a bit too soon. I don't know. Our house quadrupled in value over the yrs I'm tempted to cash out at 62 and move to a cheaper locale, but who knows.

I probably should go see a money guy. I'm making a pretty damn good living at this stage of my career, need to figure somethings out.
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Old 10-01-2023, 06:06 PM
 
10,950 posts, read 6,687,560 times
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It may not seem like it, but the time between 54 and 62 goes fast. I too felt that dread on Sundays more than Mondays, starting around 4pm without fail. Just be careful and do your research. Many people sell out and move to a cheaper place and find they can't stand the weather (especially Californians). It's a huge when you move from one climate to another. Even if you're prepared, you still have to adjust. Best of luck to you! You actually seem to be handling it very well.
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Old 10-01-2023, 07:47 PM
 
21,873 posts, read 19,025,888 times
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i remember a lady who worked at the same university where i worked. She was very high in administration, something like an assistant director. It was a very high stress job, high visibility, in the media, handling huge budgets, interacting with the government (state land grant university), all the politics and then some that come with an executive level leadership position. After many many years she made the conscious choice to leave that very prestigious job. she said the money was no longer important to her, the prestige and cachet were no longer important to her, she just couldn't deal with the stress anymore. She said she just wanted to take a job for the remaining 6 years she had in the system until she could retire. She stayed in the university and sought to pick what she thought would be the lowest stress job possible, from among all the departments, where she could pretty much work by herself and not have to deal with any of the politics or interact with any people on a daily basis. She literally was in a position where she could take any job in the university and it was hers. The job she identified and chose which she felt would make the least demands upon her was to be on the custodial staff (being a janitor).

Well, within less than a year her stress level was exactly back up to where it was before, if not worse. Turns out it wasn't the job, it was her and how she dealt with whatever. She said she actually felt worse because on top of job stress she now felt like she'd made a mistake and did not know what to do. I worked in the healthcare clinic at the university, that's where i met her and she told me this story when she was seeking medical treatment for the impact this was having on her health and well being.
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Old 10-02-2023, 02:16 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,402 posts, read 8,618,550 times
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Like another poster said, lots of people feel the way you do but don't want to admit it. I'm long retired, but I've been there, too. My job seemed so pointless at times. Yet I gave it my best (well, most of the time ).

The way I see it is this: It's not that the thing you're doing is important, it's your doing it that matters. Orthodox Jews use this reasoning to explain why they perform what seem like pointless rituals to gentiles, such as not pressing an elevator button on the Sabbath. The point of it is that in performing even an humble job to the best of your ability, you are being a mensch, a person with principles, a person of good character. That's what's important.

Depending on your spiritual bent you may see your efforts as good karma, a mitzvah or accumulating treasures in heaven. No matter what your philosophy, doing a good job is acting honorably, which is good for your soul. When you do retire, you have the satisfaction of knowing that, no matter how pointless the work seemed or how little the boss noticed or cared, it was still a job well done.
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Old 10-02-2023, 09:15 AM
 
12,597 posts, read 8,824,665 times
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[quote=pathrunner;65897590]I get the feeling that this situation is worse now than it was 30-40-50 years ago. I'm glad I aged out of the system. I don't think there is any way I could work in the corporate world now and survive mentally and emotionally. It was bad enough as it was. I used to say I could write a book after 30+ years in the legal field. I'm talking high-end major corporate stuff in a major city (two, actually). As time went on, I forgot a lot of the things that happened. If I started writing that memoir I would probably start remembering things but why would that be a good thing?
/QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
In my job, I have times when I do something knowing it's not going to matter and will be a waste of my time-- I put together some information for my people that they'll never look at, I did a pointless busywork task-- but, I can say I did what I was supposed to do. And hey, if they want to pay me for something pointless, that's up to them. I also have times when I have to do something ridiculous, infuriating, something I shouldn't have to do, etc., but they want it done, so, okay. I don't want to stress about it, but I don't have a choice. (Trust me, I don't stress about anything I'm not required to.)
I agree it's gotten much worse. My observation it's the rise of the biz degree management class into nearly all senior positions. They never spend anytime at the working level and have no clue. Many of their positions seems to exist just to create more positions in some staff office to justify some more senior manager's job. And in turn they justify their jobs by creating useless work for the front line.

*
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
I was completely shocked how people slack these days. They just don't care. But that's far different than OP who wants to do a good job and be part of something successful and positive. Oh, and I was really p.o.'d that my plans were thwarted by idiots who don't want to do a good job, and a lot of that was actually corporate's fault.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I retired from my job due to stress and frustration. It was the best thing I ever did. After retirement, I still would get myself all in a lather over some little injustice, or having to pay an unnecessary expense, etc. I realized that it was really bugging me and making me unhappy when I have to deal with stupid situations and argue with dunderheads on the phone. .
One of the things that infuriated me was dealing with absolute idiots in senior positions. There's a scene from Chernobyl where she is dealing with a petty bureaucrat and says something to the effect "I'm a nuclear physicist and you worked in a shoe factory" and he responds "yes, and now I'm in charge."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I wonder how many people do think like I do, as you've mentioned. I think some people can do a better job of compartmentalizing things than myself. Today is Sunday, before the job change I'd have such dread and anxiety on Sundays, was actually worse than Monday, if that makes any sense.
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
It may not seem like it, but the time between 54 and 62 goes fast. I too felt that dread on Sundays more than Mondays, starting around 4pm without fail. Just be careful and do your research. Many people sell out and move to a cheaper place and find they can't stand the weather (especially Californians). It's a huge when you move from one climate to another. Even if you're prepared, you still have to adjust. Best of luck to you! You actually seem to be handling it very well.
Yep, I've been there. We especially had one boss that made you feel that way. Starting about noon on Sunday I'd start getting queasy thinking about having to go in on Monday. Talked with coworkers and found out every one of them felt the same way. Thing is, it was never the core work of my job; it was always management some stupid game that would drag me away from the core work.

Perhaps one of the dumbest games was our appraisal system. We'd sit down each year with our boss and go over what he expected from us that year. How we met those goals was what we'd be evaluated against. Then throughout the year he'd reassign us to different tasks that were more "urgent" than the annual goals. End of the year we got evaluated on the goals we didn't have time to work on and he "forgot" all the other tasks he'd assigned to us during the year.
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Old 10-02-2023, 10:11 AM
 
122 posts, read 69,722 times
Reputation: 522
I was very sensitive and a worry wart all through my 20s. It would really bother me if I got the impression that someone didn't like me.

In my 30s, my mindset changed to "does it really even matter whether or not this person likes me" and "if X happens or doesn't happen, it really won't be the end of the world."

I care about my health, I care about doing a good job, and I care about what my boss thinks about my work performance. Other than that, I pretty much don't care. Even my level of caring about work has a limit as getting fired isn't the end of the world.

Some coworker, family member, or random person in public has a problem with me? Oh well, I won't lose sleep over it.
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Old 10-02-2023, 06:14 PM
 
23,521 posts, read 69,925,450 times
Reputation: 48893
While this relates some to the work forum, it does belong here.

When to give a crap...

...when what is being asked, or even demanded, is counter to your beliefs, your health, your own development in any way.

Even if you don't have a spiritual bent, some things hold true:

You were not born to please people.

People get wrapped up in crazy stuff.

At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and your actions.

The world will continue on whatever you do or don't do.
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Old 10-02-2023, 07:43 PM
 
1,756 posts, read 783,759 times
Reputation: 5276
Quote:
Originally Posted by wangchin213 View Post
I was very sensitive and a worry wart all through my 20s. It would really bother me if I got the impression that someone didn't like me.

Some coworker, family member, or random person in public has a problem with me? Oh well, I won't lose sleep over it.
I was the same way when I was younger. It was debilitating, trying to please everyone in order to not be disliked. Huge waste of energy and fuel for ongoing social anxiety.

Now I honestly don't give a crap. I'm a small business owner serving the public in a small town, which puts me in a different position of reputation than the average person. No doubt I've pissed some people off, causing them to spread negative comments about their experience with me and my business. There was a time in my life where just the thought of this would've paralyzed me. Now I don't care because I know it's impossible to please everybody, and I have zero interest in trying to fake it to reach that impossible goal.
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