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Old 12-11-2023, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Texas
821 posts, read 462,322 times
Reputation: 2099

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Dogs, great apes, bulls, probably more, see eye contact as a challenge. The two quickest ways to start a fight in a beer joint are look at someone else's woman, and staring at someone else. Staring in this instance can last only a few seconds. I've never been good at staring into someone else's eyes and really haven't been around that many people that do it. Personally, it takes away from whatever sincere reply you expect from me. The whole time I'm trying to formulate an answer I'm thinking "Why is this ******* staring at me?" Eye contact to me is more of an "I'm okay, You're okay. Now let's move along."
Over the years, through my wife I've learned that to women, eye contact is very important. I don't know why.
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Old 12-12-2023, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,351 posts, read 14,583,583 times
Reputation: 39338
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomx View Post
Don't think l' on any spectrum haha, l am a lot sharper and aware than most though so that also seems to put out a weirdly strong vibe if l do even glance in anyones direction.
This has gone on my whole life so so something l've also tried to train myself with since l was a kid too.
Mind you, l'm also physically the sort of person that's easily noticed too so that doesn't help. l've thought a 1000x though through life l'd give anything to just be and look like some average, blend in, that no one notices, must be heaven if your a private person as l am. Doesn't help being tall either. But so yeah, this also obviously leads to eye stuff too.
Seems most people wanna be noticed and just don't understand those of us that don't.
Only yesterday l'm walking through the park over to the shops, some guy gets out of a car 20mtrs over, literally staring right at me over his shoulder, all the way across the road and into the door of the shops. Busy road to cross too l'm thinking ha, he's gonna get hit so busy still staring at me over his shoulder even crossing that road.
l get that all the time, maybe he was gay,no idea, didn't look it. But just one of 100s of examples, 1000s probably l'm 50s so yeah, been goin on awhile, from women too and men my gf always chuckling about it especially women when we're out and about, 6yrs and she still can't believe it,neither could ex w.
So nope , l'm not just some bored fool starting silly threads in a forum. l'm hardly even in the forum as you'd see. Just happened to see this category in this place though and so yeah, in my 50s, obviously l'm well use to it by this age and have my ways these days but just thought maybe l'd talk about this sort of thing here. Could be a few trained people around that might like to add their 2 pennys.
Or someone that's dealt with the same thing their whole lives too.
I don't think that it's a wild idea to have, that being stared at by a stranger feels odd.

But the thought I use to just...assume no ill intent and dismiss the situation, I guess?... is just that perhaps you bear a resemblance to somebody that guy went to school with or someone he knows, and he's trying to figure out if you are that person, or remember why you look familiar to him.

It's the most benign explanation. And I try to assume the best about others unless I have reason to do otherwise.
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