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Old 01-25-2024, 02:21 PM
 
256 posts, read 115,262 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Uncomfortable over others’ happiness? That’s a bit odd, as is admiring them.
I said "perhaps uncomfortable"....I guess I'm using all the wrong words Sorry!!!
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Old 01-25-2024, 02:23 PM
 
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I think it's human to be unhappy (at times) at someone else's happiness. I mean...man, I'll admit to it.

It made me happy when I remarried before my ex husband. It was/is a silly, not productive, not righteous, not rightful, immature emotion...but yeah. I took some pleasure out of the fact I found happiness before he did. I WISH I had not wasted so much emotion on him...but I did.

But yeah...if someone resents YOU for being happy...it's because THEY are unhappy. I'm older and wiser and happier now, and I can look back and see that I was a very unhappy person way back then.
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Old 01-25-2024, 02:23 PM
 
3,145 posts, read 1,601,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Uncomfortable over others’ happiness? That’s a bit odd, as is admiring them.



Well said; I couldn’t agree more.



Although I don’t know folks who are like this, the takeaway is to surround yourself with positive people (and be happy/positive yourself). Persons who are generally happy tend to socialize with others who have the same mindset; they share in life’s ups and downs together.
There is no takeaway here because sometimes we have no control over who attends these celebratory events.
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Old 01-25-2024, 02:50 PM
 
256 posts, read 115,262 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
I think it's human to be unhappy (at times) at someone else's happiness. I mean...man, I'll admit to it.

It made me happy when I remarried before my ex husband. It was/is a silly, not productive, not righteous, not rightful, immature emotion...but yeah. I took some pleasure out of the fact I found happiness before he did. I WISH I had not wasted so much emotion on him...but I did.

But yeah...if someone resents YOU for being happy...it's because THEY are unhappy. I'm older and wiser and happier now, and I can look back and see that I was a very unhappy person way back then.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, and your honesty is refreshing!
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Old 01-25-2024, 03:30 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,667 posts, read 3,868,982 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie104 View Post
There is no takeaway here because sometimes we have no control over who attends these celebratory events.
If they are unhappy, jealous or angry re: others’ happiness, why would they attend a celebratory event relative to such? That said, you absolutely do have control over your choice of persons that surround you, as well as your response to any negativity.

Your own happiness/psychological health is not contingent upon theirs.
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Old 01-25-2024, 03:50 PM
 
5,655 posts, read 3,153,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy;66349942[B
]If they are unhappy, jealous or angry re: others’ happiness, why would they attend a celebratory event relative to such?[/b] That said, you absolutely do have control over your choice of persons that surround you, as well as your response to any negativity.

Your own happiness/psychological health is not contingent upon theirs.
To try and ruin the happiness of someone else? Or maybe because it's 'expected' that the jealous or otherwise unhappy person be there?

What comes to mind are weddings where there's an angry mother-in-law, or exes seeing each other at a wedding of their child maybe. One would hope that these people would/could follow social conventions and behave, but you hear or read about situations all the time, where some kind of family or extended family did their best to ruin what should've been a happy occasion.
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Old 01-25-2024, 03:58 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,058 posts, read 2,035,841 times
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Happiness is valuable.
So of course some people will be jealous when they see that people that have more happiness than they have.
There are people jealous of someone who owns a nice car or a nice house, why wouldn't they have feelings about people who show their happiness?

In a movie it seems that someone showing great happiness will get it taken away.
Maybe they'll get it back (rom-cam) maybe they won't (horror film).
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Old 01-25-2024, 04:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
To try and ruin the happiness of someone else? Or maybe because it's 'expected' that the jealous or otherwise unhappy person be there?

What comes to mind are weddings where there's an angry mother-in-law, or exes seeing each other at a wedding of their child maybe. One would hope that these people would/could follow social conventions and behave, but you hear or read about situations all the time, where some kind of family or extended family did their best to ruin what should've been a happy occasion.
Bingo.
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Old 01-25-2024, 04:50 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,667 posts, read 3,868,982 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
To try and ruin the happiness of someone else? Or maybe because it's 'expected' that the jealous or otherwise unhappy person be there?
That it’s expected doesn’t mean it has to be - particularly if one knows they will try to ‘ruin the happiness of someone else’. Why would they be invited to a celebratory event, lol? Folks know their supportive friends/family (and those who are not); it’s a two-way street.
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Old 01-25-2024, 05:10 PM
 
5,655 posts, read 3,153,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
That it’s expected doesn’t mean it has to be - particularly if one knows they will try to ‘ruin the happiness of someone else’. Why would they be invited to a celebratory event, lol? Folks know their supportive friends/family (and those who are not); it’s a two-way street.
When one of my granddaughters got married, her grandma, my husband's ex wife was at the reception. She can be a volatile person. Happily, she was pleasant and actually her and my husband had a heart to heart that I know was cathartic for my husband but I think it was for her as well. But she's the kind of person where it could've gone bad, and we knew it could've been bad.

So...we should've not gone, knowing her potential?
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