Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-13-2024, 08:01 AM
 
20 posts, read 2,619 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Tallness can be physically attractive to women (and is a ‘masculine trait’), particularly relative to an athletic build. That said, I’ve never heard a woman state she is specifically looking for a ‘tall guy’ because she would feel protected relative to a stalker, lol. What about the police, a security system, self-defense and/or common sense re: personal safety? It’s not as if the dude is going to be with you 24/7 anyway.

Heh - do you date, or are you looking to hire a bodyguard?
Yeah I never got the tall guy for protection thing.

What do these ladies do then when there single then? Hide out in a bunker? Hire security guards if they go out in public?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-13-2024, 08:53 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,912 posts, read 4,040,117 times
Reputation: 6288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fisherman99 View Post
So many reasons why people are involuntarily single per the link below. Lonliness epidemic has increased since social media and covid in a big way.
Loneliness is associated with (or may be indicative of) certain mental health problems; point being, their psychological health is the issue (as opposed to their singledom).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,506 posts, read 14,892,901 times
Reputation: 39808
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Loneliness is associated with (or may be indicative of) certain mental health problems; point being, their psychological health is the issue (as opposed to their singledom).
True, but if one were to set aside "singledom" and hold up, rather, isolation then I think that there's grounds for a "chicken and egg" question.

Studies have shown that isolation, lack of touch, things like that can be a strong cause of poor mental health.

Yet, too, poor mental health can be a cause of isolation, or isolation a sign or symptom of a mental health problem.

Whichever thing manifests first probably varies...but once both are happening, they probably feed and reinforce one another.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 12:13 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,912 posts, read 4,040,117 times
Reputation: 6288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
True, but if one were to set aside "singledom" and hold up, rather, isolation then I think that there's grounds for a "chicken and egg" question.
From my perspective, it’s not a ‘chicken or the egg’ question. If one is psychologically healthy (and doesn’t want to be single), they aren’t going to isolate or negatively refer to themselves as ‘involuntarily single’, per the thread. They know they’re in control of their own social lives which, of course, is different than easily finding a compatible match for the long-term. That’s the point of meeting/dating different women (or men).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 12:28 PM
 
424 posts, read 553,633 times
Reputation: 1554
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Tallness can be physically attractive to women (and is a ‘masculine trait’), particularly relative to an athletic build. That said, I’ve never heard a woman state she is specifically looking for a ‘tall guy’ because she would feel protected relative to a stalker, lol. What about the police, a security system, self-defense and/or common sense re: personal safety? It’s not as if the dude is going to be with you 24/7 anyway.

Heh - do you date, or are you looking to hire a bodyguard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan1982 View Post
Yeah I never got the tall guy for protection thing.

What do these ladies do then when there single then? Hide out in a bunker? Hire security guards if they go out in public?
Metaphorically I do kind of live in a bunker. I rarely go out alone and when I do, I carry pepper spray with me at all times. If I didn't live in California, I would get a concealed weapons permit. I have an alarm, a german shepherd and a gun in my place. I have taken modelled mugging and Krav Maga classes.

I have mixed feelings about having to do all of this. It's annoying and I resent that I have to do this. But I have dealt with a lot of sketchy behavior from men too. I have had multiple stalkers. I have needed to get multiple restraining orders on multiple different guys. I was 11 the first time an adult male exposed himself to me.

I don't want to make this sound like I think all guys or even most guys are a-holes. They aren't. My Dad and my 6'4" little brother are really cool guys. I admire and respect most of the men my I have dealt with, but their is a minority of men who I see as a real threat. If you are a woman and you get a lot of attention from guys (and I do), you aren't just going to get attention from only the sane and rational guys, you are also going to show up on the radar for the weirdos too. I have dealt with that a lot too. The problem is that you can't always spot the weirdos instantly.

I will say, one thing that keeps weirdos away are other guys. When I am with my younger brother, no one gives me any problems.

Now before you dismiss what I am saying as just my problem alone, listen to the lyrics of this No Doubt song. The song is popular with women because it speaks to a problem that is common among a lot of women, this resentment that we need to take all of these precautions just to go about our day to day lives.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 01:11 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,912 posts, read 4,040,117 times
Reputation: 6288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan1982 View Post
Yeah I never got the tall guy for protection thing.
I disagree it’s a thing. I’ve had women indicate they find height physically attractive, and several have specifically mentioned my height adds to my ‘strong masculine presence’. Obviously, it’s not at the top (or even part) of their list.

That said, there is a huge distinction between women who ‘feel protected’ by (or are attracted to) a tall athletic physique vs. anyone who would literally/nonsensically expect round-the-clock protection relative to a stalker or whatnot, as a previous poster indicated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 01:49 PM
bu2
 
24,248 posts, read 15,090,212 times
Reputation: 13117
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
From my perspective, it’s not a ‘chicken or the egg’ question. If one is psychologically healthy (and doesn’t want to be single), they aren’t going to isolate or negatively refer to themselves as ‘involuntarily single’, per the thread. They know they’re in control of their own social lives which, of course, is different than easily finding a compatible match for the long-term. That’s the point of meeting/dating different women (or men).
Well I think a lot of people don't understand the odds. They don't understand that most people are not compatible and so get frustrated easily when things don't work out. As someone once told me, if you want to find someone, you have to approach it like finding a job. So you send out a lot of feelers and understand that few will result in an offer. After she got divorced, her biological clock was ticking, so she focused on finding someone. She's pretty assertive and was dating 5 or 6 nights a week. She got married within a year (and is still married to him decades later).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 02:11 PM
 
20 posts, read 2,619 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damnitjanet View Post
Metaphorically I do kind of live in a bunker. I rarely go out alone and when I do, I carry pepper spray with me at all times. If I didn't live in California, I would get a concealed weapons permit. I have an alarm, a german shepherd and a gun in my place. I have taken modelled mugging and Krav Maga classes.

I have mixed feelings about having to do all of this. It's annoying and I resent that I have to do this. But I have dealt with a lot of sketchy behavior from men too. I have had multiple stalkers. I have needed to get multiple restraining orders on multiple different guys. I was 11 the first time an adult male exposed himself to me.

I don't want to make this sound like I think all guys or even most guys are a-holes. They aren't. My Dad and my 6'4" little brother are really cool guys. I admire and respect most of the men my I have dealt with, but their is a minority of men who I see as a real threat. If you are a woman and you get a lot of attention from guys (and I do), you aren't just going to get attention from only the sane and rational guys, you are also going to show up on the radar for the weirdos too. I have dealt with that a lot too. The problem is that you can't always spot the weirdos instantly.

I will say, one thing that keeps weirdos away are other guys. When I am with my younger brother, no one gives me any problems.

Now before you dismiss what I am saying as just my problem alone, listen to the lyrics of this No Doubt song. The song is popular with women because it speaks to a problem that is common among a lot of women, this resentment that we need to take all of these precautions just to go about our day to day lives.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg
I wasn’t referring to you since you have a stalker so I get it. I was talking more general terms
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 02:37 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,912 posts, read 4,040,117 times
Reputation: 6288
Quote:
Originally Posted by bu2 View Post
Well I think a lot of people don't understand the odds. They don't understand that most people are not compatible and so get frustrated easily when things don't work out.
They don’t understand the role their (lack of) psychological health plays in dating, yet alone relative to a solid relationship. Negativity breeds (and attracts) negativity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2024, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Kansas
26,247 posts, read 22,421,346 times
Reputation: 27124
Establishing and maintaining relationships requires a lot of effort, so I think some just look for other reasons to justify their lack of a relationship.

Physical attractiveness to that certain person makes a difference, but I don't think any attribute seals the deal! Many that are single are single due to their own issues, either not having the get up and go to get out there and make connections, or the standards they have set for any woman they would be interested in are just too high. Plus, some of these guys are looking more for sex than a relationship!

Good grief, I have seen thousands upon thousands of couples in my life, and what the attraction was on one side or the other certainly was not evident to a passing stranger.

I'm older, but I don't understand how someone could ever consider an internet relationship as amounting to much at all. I would suggest the good old fashioned way of meeting others, finding activities that you are interested in and joining groups of people that enjoy those activities, geesh, even checking out the singles at the grocery store is a better start, and yes, I see that happening, not for the very young, but for others. Go to the zoo, the park..........so many opportunities to meet others, maybe just for friendship or maybe for something more.

Sitting at home alone all the time makes someone too weird socially to expect to attract others.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top