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Old 06-14-2024, 04:46 PM
Location: Juneau, AK + Puna, HI
10,782 posts, read 8,083,460 times
Reputation: 16461


Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
If you look at my posts with careful regard, you'll see I consistently say biology is not an absolute. In fact I define it as masculine and feminine since both male and female can use those communication techniques.

Point is... I specifically say and point out there is no pigeonholing, however I also say with prejudice that men and women have different communication styles and techniques that is biologically confirmed by many-many studies.

One off personal examples mean nothing, in the scheme of things.
I believe men tend to be more direct, due to cultural conditioning rather than biology.

As for aggressive speech, the three people I know who are obnoxious in their tendency to dominate conversations are all men.

Another facet of aggressive communication would be emotional speech. With this, I don't see any sex advantage one way or another despite the prefix in our word "hysterical". Men and women seem equally prone to raising their voice, getting angry, etc.
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Old 06-14-2024, 07:26 PM
21,076 posts, read 8,869,775 times
Reputation: 14918
Deborah Tannen wrote a best seller classic years ago on how men and women communicate differently. "You Just Don't Understand."

I am very direct, probably too much so for some people, which is why on various forums and comments sections of news, people assume I'm a man. Doesn't bother me.

However, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar so I need to be reminded to pretend I'm a Jeopardy contestant and phrase things in the form of a question.
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Old 06-14-2024, 07:40 PM
Location: Florida
15,275 posts, read 10,065,600 times
Reputation: 12401
Originally Posted by Ttott View Post
Because the title page indicates the paper was written by someone named Jessica who was doing an undergrad degree in 2011, and your profile (complete with photo) indicates that you identify as male and claim to have completed your education "a long time ago". So if that's your paper, then allow me to, in no particular order:

1. Congratulate the doctor who handled your transition,
2. Encourage you to start using sunscreen because of its anti-aging benefits,
3. Suggest that 13 years ago really isn't all that long.

LOL.... you got me. Good job! It was my way to make you read it... forensically. Worked
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Old 06-16-2024, 11:28 AM
Location: Southern MN
12,268 posts, read 8,696,847 times
Reputation: 45606
My husband is very work-oriented and has had a number of positions which required leadership with narrow room for mistake. Some were office work and others were in the field.

There have been times when he slips into "field mode" and it feels like he is barking out orders to me. That doesn't sit well. Give me a please and thank you and I respond pretty well.

I started to think about that - historically men have been out there together doing the "dangerous work" and short quick sentences of instruction were the most safe and expedient way to get the job done. That has got to have had an impact on how they work together. You don't hear many niceties among a construction crew. Little consideration of feelings is given.

How much of that is genetic hormonal inclination and how much is conditioning is a guess. Both.

However, a recognition of cause is not an excuse for a negligence of consideration.
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Old 06-20-2024, 05:01 PM
906 posts, read 499,173 times
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ln my world men just mostly aren't interested in bs'g on simple as that and it works great and quite normal with other men.But you often see it totally misunderstood by women.
We communicate very very differently to the way women do with ea other .
l love the way we communicate as compared l couldn't stand neither could most men in my world, having to act or talk the way women seem to need to do among other women. Even my daughter and her friends we've often talked about how differently they'll talk and just be and are with ea other, same with my 6 sisters, same with my gf or ex w, same with 99% of women l've ever known.
Seems quite a long careful and prickly process with women between women. There's like all these niceties and tones and smiling and ways they seem to expect from ea other and if one things different on the day there's a problem.lt's almost portentous or like some politics or some bs.
My d often says she wishes her friends or females in general did things the way men do , she prefers males.Guys don't have to worry with any of that rubbish. We have totally different ways, simple, we're totally different beings, that's just nature, it's not rocket science.
l've worked in the trades all my life l also have 5 brothers. Whenever there's any women on the site or involved in anything, you kinda deal with them totally different to your work mates, mates or brothers , men in general, if you didn't they couldn't handle it. Where as with your work mates we're perfectly at peace and at ease.lt's just easy, no need for fuss or formalities or bs.
Believe me even dealing with my sisters or most women, customers, any, is on a whole nother plain. And many a time l've heard women just like in this thread, not understanding the way men do things or taking it the wrong way.

Worked with my brother just yesterday actually. Perfectly in just comfortable zinc . No need for bs, no need to even bother talking about whatever we're doing unless there's something to figure out, we actually kinda of just grunt or point, subconsciously really, a lot of the time. lt's pretty funny and would totally bamboozle a woman but there's just no need for any bs, fuss, niceties, flowery fake smiles or bs. Pretty normal stuff working with any men.
Where as doing anything with women or even just talking about something, anything, it's a whole nother thing.
As far as general communication, same, you even see it on live shows or interviews, all over the place, as well as real life or even my 6 sisters. lt's usually the women getting louder and frazzled or this kind of aggressive way 5x quicker and easier than men.
Not saying all or always but it's just so common now.
There's actually real life examples of this all over YT and of how to deal with people stuff by experts doctors shrinks, should watch some of it it's hilarious and so obvious .

Last edited by randomx; 06-20-2024 at 05:32 PM..
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Old 06-20-2024, 08:29 PM
906 posts, read 499,173 times
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Mind you , not for a second to take anything away from all the things l love about women and there are many things where they're much nicer and far more fun to be around or just better to deal with. Many things l'd rather deal with a woman and try to work it like that say on calls or often some sort of business thing.
Others and other things and stuff in life, the opposite.
l always wonder how men in offices for example can even be men because the women won't get them and next minute they'll be doing threads like this trying to.
All this being nice and smiling and polite and making sure you don't say something in the wrong ways or acting like this acting that instead of just turning up to work with mates and where men can just be men and it's all just the way it is.
Mind you, office or female environment work must have it's advantages too for sure with lots of the opposite sex around to meet or in certain areas be other real advantages even within the work itself.
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Old 06-28-2024, 11:47 AM
Location: Southern MN
12,268 posts, read 8,696,847 times
Reputation: 45606
I think this is where politics and psychology bump into each other, randomx. We've had a good fifty years of identity politics demanding that the whole adjust to the individual and may have noticed by now that it isn't a smoothly accomplished goal. In fact it generates hostility from what I've seen.

Humans have had no problem recognizing norms for each individual group and appropriate task. Here's how we behave in the office, here's how we behave in the field. In modern society recognizing and adapting to those norms has traditionally been the sign of a skilled, flexible and accomplished personality regardless of the identity. It disposes of the notion that conflicts need to be solved with a club and dominance of any one group.

I'm thinking in terms of personal boundaries of individuals and how that kind of work on their part helps to solve problems for which various movements have demanded mass change. I'm sure that solutions can be found in education and understanding of various undesired behaviors.

But that is not a silencing or conquering task but more of a compromising task requiring mutual understanding. The work cannot be done from the initial motivating feelings of anger and desire for lost power. At its starting point the singular desire is to force people to change. That cannot have lasting impact and produce harmony.

I think that's where we are. Given our differences I don't know how much more can be accomplished other than awareness. I gave up depending on the Movement and decided to create the change in my life wherever possible. I can do a little of "When in Rome. . ."

It isn't so difficult to compromise when you learn how to recognize your own sense of power. Then it is choice. It's not a football game, it's, what do they say? "Co-existence."
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Old 06-28-2024, 01:04 PM
Location: Florida
15,275 posts, read 10,065,600 times
Reputation: 12401
Men get better, stronger 'sharper' when conflict is part of the equation. "Iron upon iron ... one man sharpens another". It's a historically true principle, that does NOT have universal application.
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Old 06-28-2024, 08:08 PM
3,067 posts, read 1,090,605 times
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Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
LOL.... you got me. Good job! It was my way to make you read it... forensically. Worked
No one believes this.

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Old 07-05-2024, 12:18 PM
Status: "Chronically sleep-deprived" (set 28 days ago)
Location: Sagittarius Arm, Milky Way, Universe Prime
76 posts, read 35,238 times
Reputation: 245
Originally Posted by snerk View Post
no one believes this.

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