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11-22-2008, 03:03 PM
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Location: Texas
111 posts, read 274,255 times
Reputation: 83
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I recently read "Understanding the Borderline Mother".....I never understood how my mother could treat me the way she has since childhood, until I read this book. Im interested to know if anyone else has read this book or has a mother who has BPD???
How did you deal with her in adulthood?
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11-22-2008, 03:07 PM
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Location: So Cal
49,207 posts, read 48,620,722 times
Reputation: 50217
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texgrl
I recently read "Understanding the Borderline Mother".....I never understood how my mother could treat me the way she has since childhood, until I read this book. Im interested to know if anyone else has read this book or has a mother who has BPD???
How did you deal with her in adulthood?
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What are the traits or symptoms as it where.
I guess I should just google it.  |
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11-22-2008, 03:15 PM
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36,023 posts, read 42,486,454 times
Reputation: 53256
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"Today BPD is considered a relatively stable personality disorder and is used more generally to describe non-psychotic individuals who display emotional disregulation, splitting, and an unstable self image."
"Borderline personality disorder can be a distressing medical condition, both for the people who have it and for those around them. When you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you have difficulty controlling your emotions and are often in a state of upheaval — perhaps as a result of harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunction.
With borderline personality disorder your image of yourself is distorted, making you feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Your anger, impulsivity and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you yearn for loving relationships.
Increasing awareness and research are helping improve the treatment and understanding of borderline personality disorder. Emerging evidence indicates that people with borderline personality disorder often get better over time and that they can live happy, peaceful lives. "
Honestly, just sounds like another name they came up with to categorize yet one more "personality" disorder. There's a million wacko people out there...but we have to give them all "disorders". 
Sorry - not trying to be insensitive - I just get weary of all the diagnosing being done.  Good luck in dealing with it...I'm sure it must be a bear. |
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11-22-2008, 03:16 PM
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13,782 posts, read 25,474,820 times
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BPD is terrible to deal with...my mother has BPD and dealing with her is like strategizing a battle...there is never rest...the stories are too long, detailed and painful to get into, but it gets better with time and distance.
My parents are divorced and my father and I are very close. Several years ago the proverbial sh*t hit the fan with my mother and I was at wits end...my father gave me the best advice... "Honey, don't try to beat her at her own game because she will always change the rules of engagement...the only way to beat her is by being honest...she doesn't know how to do that"...
My biggest hurdle was dealing with the lies and the feeling of helplessness from her web of lies...they are very shrewd and their illness is hard to detect as an outsider...
Just keep yourself safe and try to remember that she is ill...that does not excuse her behavior but it gives you a way to cope with it...thinking of her as sick is easier than thinking she is just plain evil...
Take care...
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11-22-2008, 03:17 PM
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13,782 posts, read 25,474,820 times
Reputation: 7442
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BPD is and can be very serious...to diagnose there has to be 2 other co morbities present...these can be what makes the illness worse...
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11-22-2008, 04:08 PM
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Location: In my view finder.....
8,520 posts, read 15,551,182 times
Reputation: 8079
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WOW! Your dad must be a very smart man. That was great advice.
I like that. That can be used in many different situations.
Kudos to your dad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
BPD is terrible to deal with...my mother has BPD and dealing with her is like strategizing a battle...there is never rest...the stories are too long, detailed and painful to get into, but it gets better with time and distance.
My parents are divorced and my father and I are very close. Several years ago the proverbial sh*t hit the fan with my mother and I was at wits end...my father gave me the best advice... "Honey, don't try to beat her at her own game because she will always change the rules of engagement...the only way to beat her is by being honest...she doesn't know how to do that"...
My biggest hurdle was dealing with the lies and the feeling of helplessness from her web of lies...they are very shrewd and their illness is hard to detect as an outsider...
Just keep yourself safe and try to remember that she is ill...that does not excuse her behavior but it gives you a way to cope with it...thinking of her as sick is easier than thinking she is just plain evil...
Take care...
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11-22-2008, 04:15 PM
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13,782 posts, read 25,474,820 times
Reputation: 7442
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron.
WOW! Your dad must be a very smart man. That was great advice.
I like that. That can be used in many different situations.
Kudos to your dad.
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Yes, he has some very "fatherly" advice...he is a very wise man and I am so glad you will be able to benefit from it! Pass it on  |
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11-22-2008, 06:24 PM
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14,743 posts, read 32,160,464 times
Reputation: 8915
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texgrl
I recently read "Understanding the Borderline Mother".....I never understood how my mother could treat me the way she has since childhood, until I read this book. Im interested to know if anyone else has read this book or has a mother who has BPD???
How did you deal with her in adulthood?
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I'm very sorry to hear this. My parents remained together and actually got along (very yin and yang in personality, so they complemented each other); however, they weren't the most competent at raising kids, using other obviously better parents as a barometer. Most people tell me I've raised myself. I've heard of "borderline personality disorder," but should look into the symptoms to see if I see it in my folks. |
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11-22-2008, 06:26 PM
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Location: Henderson, NV
7,088 posts, read 8,053,603 times
Reputation: 9978
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
"Today BPD is considered a relatively stable personality disorder and is used more generally to describe non-psychotic individuals who display emotional disregulation, splitting, and an unstable self image."
"Borderline personality disorder can be a distressing medical condition, both for the people who have it and for those around them. When you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you have difficulty controlling your emotions and are often in a state of upheaval — perhaps as a result of harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunction.
With borderline personality disorder your image of yourself is distorted, making you feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Your anger, impulsivity and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you yearn for loving relationships.
Increasing awareness and research are helping improve the treatment and understanding of borderline personality disorder. Emerging evidence indicates that people with borderline personality disorder often get better over time and that they can live happy, peaceful lives. "
Honestly, just sounds like another name they came up with to categorize yet one more "personality" disorder. There's a million wacko people out there...but we have to give them all "disorders".
Sorry - not trying to be insensitive - I just get weary of all the diagnosing being done. Good luck in dealing with it...I'm sure it must be a bear. |
Completely agree. It's just another BS term those idiotic psychologists make up, none of which have any real medical basis whatsoever. Psychology is largely just the witch doctors of the day. I mean 50 years ago, homosexuality was on their list of disorders. I don't take anything they say seriously. |
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11-22-2008, 06:34 PM
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13,782 posts, read 25,474,820 times
Reputation: 7442
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
Completely agree. It's just another BS term those idiotic psychologists make up, none of which have any real medical basis whatsoever. Psychology is largely just the witch doctors of the day. I mean 50 years ago, homosexuality was on their list of disorders. I don't take anything they say seriously.
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Live with someone who has it and get back to me... |
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