Lifelong single guys, what keeps you going? (husband, parent, problems)

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

Tell your gender to quit thinking with your small head when you make that decision to get married to that specific person and then have children with them.

This, and even in today's marriages, many men still leave the lion's share of childcare to their wives. So when the marriage splits you've got one parent who knows very little about caring for their own children. Most divorces don't go to court, so if men really want custody, they need to be active, involved parents from the first, and to advocate for their own rights and not sign any paperwork that a lawyer puts in front of them that signs those rights away.

[Lovehound]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

This, and even in today's marriages, many men still leave the lion's share of childcare to their wives. So when the marriage splits you've got one parent who knows very little about caring for their own children. Most divorces don't go to court, so if men really want custody, they need to be active, involved parents from the first, and to advocate for their own rights and not sign any paperwork that a lawyer puts in front of them that signs those rights away.

If you married the right man he would want to take an active role in raising his children. If he doesn't, you married the wrong man.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

If you married the right man he would want to take an active role in raising his children. If he doesn't, you married the wrong man.

Well, yeah, but what Texan2008 is referring to and MGOTWs believe is that in a divorce awful women want keep good guys away from their own children, when in reality many times the men don't advocate for themselves. Often it's more nuanced, and decisions are made for the good of the kids, not necessarily to screw over the ex.

To take it back to the thread topic, there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying being single, but too many people like to believe these urban legends that a bad marriage or an acrimonious divorce is something that just happens without both people's input or isn't a result of ignoring red flags.

[Lovehound]

If a man has been a good father to his children and has not abused his family in any way then I see no reason why he would not be able to continue his participation in his children's lives after a divorce.

But my point is that if anybody married the wrong person then the original flaw lies in picking a bad partner for the wrong reasons.

[MillennialUrbanist]

In a nutshell...

Men, don't marry the first woman who says yes to sex. That's how she gets her foot in the door, then causes problems later.

Women, don't marry the first man who excites your emotions. That's how he gets his foot in the door, then causes problems later.

That is all.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

Tell your gender to quit thinking with your small head when you make that decision to get married to that specific person and then have children with them.

This.^^^^^

xmillion

[klmrocks]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

His and her houses, on different continents.

Actually already do ...... it is still no solution.

[klmrocks]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

This.^^^^^

xmillion

These comments just show neither of you get it. People change...you dont always know until after it is too late.

This comment is just as diluted as suggesting someone should know they would get hit with a bus when trying cross the street.

My what sheltered cookie cutter perfect existinces some peoole must have to asume nothing or anyone could ever change.

[klmrocks]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Well, yeah, but what Texan2008 is referring to and MGOTWs believe is that in a divorce awful women want keep good guys away from their own children, when in reality many times the men don't advocate for themselves. Often it's more nuanced, and decisions are made for the good of the kids, not necessarily to screw over the ex.

To take it back to the thread topic, there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying being single, but too many people like to believe these urban legends that a bad marriage or an acrimonious divorce is something that just happens without both people's input or isn't a result of ignoring red flags.

Each situation is different. Why just make wild generalizatiins about this stuff?

[Sand&Salt]

Originally Posted by klmrocks

Each situation is different. Why just make wild generalizatiins about this stuff?

Exactly. And what you look for in a partner can change in different phases of your life.