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Old 05-10-2014, 02:10 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,772 times
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I know there are similar threads on this topic but here is my issue:My marriage has always been on unstable ground (12 years) for a number of reasons. Now my husband has taken a definite stance that he will not spend one more winter in Kentucky. He is moving to Florida whether our 11 year old son and I go...or not. He has pain issues and the cold aggravates the pain.I have an adult daughter from my previous marriage here. I am so reluctant to leave her. That is concern #1. Our son prefers to stay here, but that is not too surprising. He has experienced his dad and me being separated before (albeit in close proximity to each other) and seems content with the idea of being away from his dad in this manner. I imagine that would change with a long separation, but it's what he says now.Florida has definite merits (Punta Gorda is the area we are considering), but the heat and humidity are exhausting. However, I am a fitness professional, love the outdoors, and I won't hate being in Florida in the winter --- especially after this last one!I am so torn. My husband says I am being selfish and short sighted. Perhaps. But the thought of leaving my daughter (unmarried) and uprooting my son - and myself - is nauseating.Thoughts? Be frank but kind, please.
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Old 05-10-2014, 03:28 PM
 
1,581 posts, read 3,376,196 times
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Honestly, your asking strangers on a forum about what to do with your marriage? I don't want to sound cruel but a bunch of strangers cannot make up your mind for you. What do YOU want to do? Only you can make this decision. Is you daughter welcomed to come with you?? Bottom line is, it's your decision.
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Old 05-10-2014, 03:56 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,772 times
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Well there is the problem. I am conflicted for many reasons. I don't expect anyone to make my decision for me. I am only interested in hearing different perspectives. My daughter is always welcome but she is settled here and that is not likely to change.

We have visited the area but only for vacations.* I have done a great deal of research about the whole area from Sarasota to Fort Myers and it seems to be a desirable area to live. I realize a place can look and feel different from every set of eyes, and I am interested in those knowing eyes sharing their views.

I agree. Rather lame to include my personal relationship in these communications. Sorry about that!!
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Old 05-10-2014, 05:09 PM
 
36 posts, read 85,534 times
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I tend to agree with NPHOMEOWNER - That said, the fact that he says he is going ¨With our without you¨ SPEAKS VOLUMES. Everyone is different and I can only speak for myself, but regardless of what I want, I always try and put my WIFE FIRST. Sounds like you need to speak to a professional. I am not implying your husband abuses you but if you can´t afford to see a professional, I think places that help battered women have counseling services free of charge. Good luck.
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Old 05-10-2014, 05:34 PM
 
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My wife says it's an easy decision, if you want to stay married you will move to Florida with your husband.

I however say, go to Florida and if your not happy then move back to Kentucky.

Gary
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Old 05-10-2014, 06:53 PM
 
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an 11 year old is too young to make such decision. Most kids would want to stay where they are because that's what they are familiar with. They really don't have a clue about the new place, and leaving their friends isn't something they want to do . But parents make decisions to move away all the time, and the kids move with the family and do just fine.
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Old 05-11-2014, 06:15 AM
 
Location: Port Charlotte, FL - Dallas, PA
5,176 posts, read 4,952,233 times
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I've met quite a few snowbird couples where the husband would like to move here full time but the wife won't, citing family "up there". I know with my own family, we all get together once every few months or so, mostly for special occasions like birthday celebrations. I say there's airplanes for that.
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Port Charlotte
3,930 posts, read 6,449,992 times
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Your husband has bad pain issues. I know about that, wife and I are moving that way just because of that, and we live in Texas.

Wife. Says, if you love your husband, shut up and pack. Be supportive, not reactive. Adult daughter is just that, an adult. SHe has her life, you have yours. Get on with it.

For further advice on the marriage, ask Dear Abbey. For further advice as to Florida, we will be happy to give our 2 cents over a cup,of coffee and this forum.
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Old 05-11-2014, 02:23 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,772 times
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Whew! I appreciate the responses -tough but fair. Now. About Punta Gorda. Can anyone see the need for a fitness and wellness facility geared toward boomers? I realize there are a great number of fitness offerings throughout Florida, but a business structured with the boomer population in mind has not appeared obvious there.
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Old 05-11-2014, 02:28 PM
 
1,917 posts, read 2,633,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingwest View Post
Whew! I appreciate the responses -tough but fair. Now. About Punta Gorda. Can anyone see the need for a fitness and wellness facility geared toward boomers? I realize there are a great number of fitness offerings throughout Florida, but a business structured with the boomer population in mind has not appeared obvious there.

Open a Planet Fitness.....I'll join

Gary

Last edited by MartyGras; 05-11-2014 at 02:45 PM..
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