Hole in my heart...again.

[sunnyandcloudydays]

Originally Posted by 1greatcity

Ten years ago, I lost my sweet little terrier to cancer. She had been the only consistant companion in my life for nearly fourteen years, and I took it very hard.
After she was gone, there was a deep hole in my heart. I still had plenty of love to give. Still, I didn't think I was quite ready for another dog. But I soon realized how much I missed having a warm, furry pup by my side. I missed having something to care for...something that depended on me. So I started looking for another canine companion.
When I first laid my eyes on Barney in 2002, I knew instantly that he was the one. Barney was a terribly skinny young male Basset Hound. He was so nervous that he was afraid of his own shadow. He was even scared of his own food bowl. His vulnerability drew me closer, as I set out to comfort him while slowly building his confidence.
Barney really came out of his shell, reached a healthy weight, and gave me lots of affection. We had lots of great times together.
This summer, Barney started throwing up and was moping about. The vet did a few tests and discovered an aggressive form of incurable cancer. Not AGAIN, I said exhasperated and tearfully.
Knowing the inevitable outcome, I sought to make Barney's remaining days as happy and comfortable as possible. He started getting the best food, plenty of vitamins and such, and extra love and attention. And he was doing pretty
well, too. He had a hearty appetite and almost seemed to be beating the disease. Of course, I knew that was unlikely.
Early this past Saturday morning, I woke up to find Barney had taken a sharp turn for the worse during the night. He had thrown up the previous night's dinner, his breathing was labored, and he was too weak to walk. I knew this was it. I prayed that I would not be forced to make "that difficult decision" myself. I told Barney gently that it was okay to cross the rainbow bridge. And he did just that, with me beside him, caressing him lovingly.
The hours since then have been so difficult. I miss my little buddy Barney so much. That big empty hole in my heart-- the one I hadn't felt in more than
nine years-- is back.
I apologize for the long post, I was just hoping by putting my feelings into words, it might help just a bit.

Bless Barney's gentle soul-
My heart goes out to you and I hope you find a way to ease the loss of such a great companion.

I can relate to your loss as probably many have told or expressed their sorrow for you.

I lost my pup in January and she is still crossing my heart almost on a daily basis.
They say time heals our sorrow, and it seems like the road will never end.
Barney knows you loved him and I will leave this message that comforts me.

Today I loved you so much today is the day I let you go.
RIP Barney

[round4]

Sorry for your loss. I pray you find peace and comfort within the wonderful memories.

[Ilene Wright]

Originally Posted by 1greatcity

Ten years ago, I lost my sweet little terrier to cancer. She had been the only consistant companion in my life for nearly fourteen years, and I took it very hard.
After she was gone, there was a deep hole in my heart. I still had plenty of love to give. Still, I didn't think I was quite ready for another dog. But I soon realized how much I missed having a warm, furry pup by my side. I missed having something to care for...something that depended on me. So I started looking for another canine companion.
When I first laid my eyes on Barney in 2002, I knew instantly that he was the one. Barney was a terribly skinny young male Basset Hound. He was so nervous that he was afraid of his own shadow. He was even scared of his own food bowl. His vulnerability drew me closer, as I set out to comfort him while slowly building his confidence.
Barney really came out of his shell, reached a healthy weight, and gave me lots of affection. We had lots of great times together.
This summer, Barney started throwing up and was moping about. The vet did a few tests and discovered an aggressive form of incurable cancer. Not AGAIN, I said exhasperated and tearfully.
Knowing the inevitable outcome, I sought to make Barney's remaining days as happy and comfortable as possible. He started getting the best food, plenty of vitamins and such, and extra love and attention. And he was doing pretty
well, too. He had a hearty appetite and almost seemed to be beating the disease. Of course, I knew that was unlikely.
Early this past Saturday morning, I woke up to find Barney had taken a sharp turn for the worse during the night. He had thrown up the previous night's dinner, his breathing was labored, and he was too weak to walk. I knew this was it. I prayed that I would not be forced to make "that difficult decision" myself. I told Barney gently that it was okay to cross the rainbow bridge. And he did just that, with me beside him, caressing him lovingly.
The hours since then have been so difficult. I miss my little buddy Barney so much. That big empty hole in my heart-- the one I hadn't felt in more than
nine years-- is back.
I apologize for the long post, I was just hoping by putting my feelings into words, it might help just a bit.

I'm so sorry 1greatcity, that really touches me to the core. That's a great story about Barney and I can tell you loved him a lot. My sweet Dazey lived to be 15 and I buried her in the back yard, complete with a little cross with her picture attached. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life, besides the fact that I had to overdose Dazey with Xanax to put her out of her misery. Cancer sucks but as long as I'm living I will do whatever I can to relieve someone's misery. I could so easily be Dr. Kavorkian. I guess that's why I never made it as a nurse. Love those babies, it's not in vain and that love will come back to you some day.

[Dollydo]

I am so sorry, I am facing this myself with my 17 year old Shih Tzu, it is difficult, I focus on our times together and know that my little buddy has enriched my life, just as Barney has enriched yours.