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Old 10-10-2011, 01:08 PM
 
Location: South St Louis
4,240 posts, read 3,955,267 times
Reputation: 2834

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Ten years ago, I lost my sweet little terrier to cancer. She had been the only consistant companion in my life for nearly fourteen years, and I took it very hard.
After she was gone, there was a deep hole in my heart. I still had plenty of love to give. Still, I didn't think I was quite ready for another dog. But I soon realized how much I missed having a warm, furry pup by my side. I missed having something to care for...something that depended on me. So I started looking for another canine companion.
When I first laid my eyes on Barney in 2002, I knew instantly that he was the one. Barney was a terribly skinny young male Basset Hound. He was so nervous that he was afraid of his own shadow. He was even scared of his own food bowl. His vulnerability drew me closer, as I set out to comfort him while slowly building his confidence.
Barney really came out of his shell, reached a healthy weight, and gave me lots of affection. We had lots of great times together.
This summer, Barney started throwing up and was moping about. The vet did a few tests and discovered an aggressive form of incurable cancer. Not AGAIN, I said exhasperated and tearfully.
Knowing the inevitable outcome, I sought to make Barney's remaining days as happy and comfortable as possible. He started getting the best food, plenty of vitamins and such, and extra love and attention. And he was doing pretty
well, too. He had a hearty appetite and almost seemed to be beating the disease. Of course, I knew that was unlikely.
Early this past Saturday morning, I woke up to find Barney had taken a sharp turn for the worse during the night. He had thrown up the previous night's dinner, his breathing was labored, and he was too weak to walk. I knew this was it. I prayed that I would not be forced to make "that difficult decision" myself. I told Barney gently that it was okay to cross the rainbow bridge. And he did just that, with me beside him, caressing him lovingly.
The hours since then have been so difficult. I miss my little buddy Barney so much. That big empty hole in my heart-- the one I hadn't felt in more than
nine years-- is back.
I apologize for the long post, I was just hoping by putting my feelings into words, it might help just a bit.
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Old 10-10-2011, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Virginia
142 posts, read 473,592 times
Reputation: 336
What a blessing you were to Barney! I hope that when you have healed enough, you will allow yourself to be a blessing to another pup who needs the love and companionship of such a wonderful human.
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Old 10-10-2011, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Texas
38,870 posts, read 22,802,153 times
Reputation: 24780
So sorry for your loss.

It's not easy to contemplate, but your grief will eventually be replaced by fond memories.
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:17 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
42,541 posts, read 26,614,119 times
Reputation: 128881
Sorry you lost Barney. Personally I think it's better if they can go at home if they're not in significant pain. Each situation is different.

Anyway, cherish the good times always.
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:54 PM
 
Location: zone 5
7,329 posts, read 15,065,556 times
Reputation: 9668
I hope it did help a little to write down your thoughts. It sounds like you gave him a wonderful life.
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Old 10-11-2011, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,859 posts, read 61,502,356 times
Reputation: 19280
So sorry for your loss. What blessing you were to Barney! In my belief system, he is now running the great fields of the sky, happy and healthy, with lots of enw friends. <<hugs>>
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Old 10-11-2011, 01:28 PM
 
2,888 posts, read 6,008,599 times
Reputation: 4640
We lost two to cancer recently. One was successfully treated for 13 months. The other had an aggressive form that was just too expensive for us to treat. It's so very hard to lose them.
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Old 10-14-2011, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 21,736,209 times
Reputation: 31852
I am very sorry for your loss of Buddy. Having lost two pets to cancer in the past two years, I know how painful it is for you. It is always important to remember all of the good times that you had together. Sending good thoughts to you.
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Old 10-15-2011, 08:49 PM
 
Location: South St Louis
4,240 posts, read 3,955,267 times
Reputation: 2834
Thanks so much to all of you for your kind words. I do believe that dogs have a soul, and that Barney is running and playing with his new pals on the other side of that bridge.
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Old 10-23-2011, 12:38 AM
 
275 posts, read 379,155 times
Reputation: 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1greatcity View Post
Ten years ago, I lost my sweet little terrier to cancer. She had been the only consistant companion in my life for nearly fourteen years, and I took it very hard.
After she was gone, there was a deep hole in my heart. I still had plenty of love to give. Still, I didn't think I was quite ready for another dog. But I soon realized how much I missed having a warm, furry pup by my side. I missed having something to care for...something that depended on me. So I started looking for another canine companion.
When I first laid my eyes on Barney in 2002, I knew instantly that he was the one. Barney was a terribly skinny young male Basset Hound. He was so nervous that he was afraid of his own shadow. He was even scared of his own food bowl. His vulnerability drew me closer, as I set out to comfort him while slowly building his confidence.
Barney really came out of his shell, reached a healthy weight, and gave me lots of affection. We had lots of great times together.
This summer, Barney started throwing up and was moping about. The vet did a few tests and discovered an aggressive form of incurable cancer. Not AGAIN, I said exhasperated and tearfully.
Knowing the inevitable outcome, I sought to make Barney's remaining days as happy and comfortable as possible. He started getting the best food, plenty of vitamins and such, and extra love and attention. And he was doing pretty
well, too. He had a hearty appetite and almost seemed to be beating the disease. Of course, I knew that was unlikely.
Early this past Saturday morning, I woke up to find Barney had taken a sharp turn for the worse during the night. He had thrown up the previous night's dinner, his breathing was labored, and he was too weak to walk. I knew this was it. I prayed that I would not be forced to make "that difficult decision" myself. I told Barney gently that it was okay to cross the rainbow bridge. And he did just that, with me beside him, caressing him lovingly.
The hours since then have been so difficult. I miss my little buddy Barney so much. That big empty hole in my heart-- the one I hadn't felt in more than
nine years-- is back.
I apologize for the long post, I was just hoping by putting my feelings into words, it might help just a bit.
I'm so sorry. You are a loving and wonderful person. Bless you.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
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