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Old 02-26-2012, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Northern Illinois
2,187 posts, read 4,113,080 times
Reputation: 6392

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to my oldest and dearest kitty girl Callie - and I am totally miserable right now without her. We noticed recently that she was losing weight and I took her to the vet for a checkup. We already knew she was hyperthyroid and she had been being treated for a little over a year. I could tell something was wrong.....she was diagnosed with Triaditis - a combo of Peritonitis, kidney disease, and the hyperthyroid and her white blood cell count was elevated. Doc gave her an antibiotic and a course of Prednisone along with her usual meds for the hyperthyroid. She was not as visible around the house and I would find her curled up sleeping a lot more, not much interest in food, minimal interest in water. She even lost interest in her Whiskas cat milk...and all day Friday I absolutely KNEW something was wrong. I held her and loved her and she was as always, loving in return and seemed glad for the contact. Later in the evening my husband and I decided she needed to go to the ER and we took her in - me with a sick feeling in my heart. More tests showed severe anemia, an unexplained lump in her belly, her blood values were awful, and showed a possible gastric bleed along with her being very dehydrated. We made the decision to admit her - they would try and stabilize her and get her comfortable - rerun some tests and see what happened. Later on Saturday we agreed to an ultrasound which they immediatley could tell showed a mass in her intestine with numerous other pockets of probable tumors in the area indicating the cancer had spread. We went up to the clinic and spent several hours with her in private, and said goodbye to her after conferring with several doctors and techs who had been with her all day. I have lost many of my lovies over the years and I have to tell you it never gets any easier. When I saw her - she was bright eyed, purring, and just as perky as ever. The doctor said it was because she had been rehydrated - and that as the fluid absorbs she would grow weak again. She had nothing left to fight with - and both my husband and myself cried like babies while we held her and remembered the good times with her. She was my beautiful little red haired daughter that I always wanted (I never had children) and I found her abandoned in a cemetery on my mother's grave in October of 1998. I brought her home that day, got her healthy, and gave her a home and all the love she would have ever need. In return, she gave me her unconditional love back, her beauty to behold every day, her warmth and friendship. She saw me bury my Dad, my dog Cassie, her cat buddy Rosebud, she helped me welcome my husband into my lonely life at age 50, she moved into his house with all of us and became one of our 24 fur children that we have and loved each and every one of them. Last summer, she moved across several states with us to our new home, and never once complained about not feeling well, or any other thing. All this being said, I am feeling very lonely and empty this cold February Sunday afternoon, my second one without my girl in my arms, wishing I could turn back the clock and yet grateful for every day I had with my sweet baby. I truly believe in heaven and I trust I will see her there waiting for me. I told her to look for her Grandpa when she got there, and he would be waiting for her with Grandma, Cassie, and Rosebud. I can't believe she's gone already - it's only been 13 years. I miss my girl terribly.......:cr ying:
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Old 02-26-2012, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 5,382,771 times
Reputation: 5261
I am so very sorry, I feel your pain. She has earned her wings and is now with your parents, watching over you.
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Old 02-26-2012, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 21,709,469 times
Reputation: 31846
I am so sorry about Callie. She is now out of pain and is your guardian angel looking out for you. Don't be surprised if you see her occasionally. That's what happened with our Lucy. Sending hugs and good thoughts to you.
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:12 PM
 
499 posts, read 539,302 times
Reputation: 349
Quote:
Originally Posted by CFoulke View Post
to my oldest and dearest kitty girl Callie - and I am totally miserable right now without her. We noticed recently that she was losing weight and I took her to the vet for a checkup. We already knew she was hyperthyroid and she had been being treated for a little over a year. I could tell something was wrong.....she was diagnosed with Triaditis - a combo of Peritonitis, kidney disease, and the hyperthyroid and her white blood cell count was elevated. Doc gave her an antibiotic and a course of Prednisone along with her usual meds for the hyperthyroid. She was not as visible around the house and I would find her curled up sleeping a lot more, not much interest in food, minimal interest in water. She even lost interest in her Whiskas cat milk...and all day Friday I absolutely KNEW something was wrong. I held her and loved her and she was as always, loving in return and seemed glad for the contact. Later in the evening my husband and I decided she needed to go to the ER and we took her in - me with a sick feeling in my heart. More tests showed severe anemia, an unexplained lump in her belly, her blood values were awful, and showed a possible gastric bleed along with her being very dehydrated. We made the decision to admit her - they would try and stabilize her and get her comfortable - rerun some tests and see what happened. Later on Saturday we agreed to an ultrasound which they immediatley could tell showed a mass in her intestine with numerous other pockets of probable tumors in the area indicating the cancer had spread. We went up to the clinic and spent several hours with her in private, and said goodbye to her after conferring with several doctors and techs who had been with her all day. I have lost many of my lovies over the years and I have to tell you it never gets any easier. When I saw her - she was bright eyed, purring, and just as perky as ever. The doctor said it was because she had been rehydrated - and that as the fluid absorbs she would grow weak again. She had nothing left to fight with - and both my husband and myself cried like babies while we held her and remembered the good times with her. She was my beautiful little red haired daughter that I always wanted (I never had children) and I found her abandoned in a cemetery on my mother's grave in October of 1998. I brought her home that day, got her healthy, and gave her a home and all the love she would have ever need. In return, she gave me her unconditional love back, her beauty to behold every day, her warmth and friendship. She saw me bury my Dad, my dog Cassie, her cat buddy Rosebud, she helped me welcome my husband into my lonely life at age 50, she moved into his house with all of us and became one of our 24 fur children that we have and loved each and every one of them. Last summer, she moved across several states with us to our new home, and never once complained about not feeling well, or any other thing. All this being said, I am feeling very lonely and empty this cold February Sunday afternoon, my second one without my girl in my arms, wishing I could turn back the clock and yet grateful for every day I had with my sweet baby. I truly believe in heaven and I trust I will see her there waiting for me. I told her to look for her Grandpa when she got there, and he would be waiting for her with Grandma, Cassie, and Rosebud. I can't believe she's gone already - it's only been 13 years. I miss my girl terribly.......:cr ying:
My heart really goes out to you. I am so sorry. Two years ago we had to have our last Siamese cat euthanased (we had always had two or three at a time) and it broke our hearts. We feel now that at our age it wouldn't be fair to get another, we'd be so worried about leaving him alone if anything happened to us. I am a strong believer that animals go on to a better life and that we meet up again one day. I have seen my cats in my home so I know they come back to visit. I'll be thinking of you and knowing what you are going through.
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:16 PM
 
5,501 posts, read 5,187,044 times
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I'm deeply saddened to hear this. I'm on my way to workout but saw this & HAD to post. May God Bless you & Callie as she goes to Rainbow Bridge. I know we all will reunite w/ our beloved pets again. Please know God has a plan far greater than ours, & He blesses us w/ animals to enrich & teach us to give of ourselves & to love. I will pray that you find peace & strength in your heart, & know Callie is forever in your heart.
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:21 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 4,412,981 times
Reputation: 2097
I am just so, so sorry. My husband and I don't have children either, and the loss of our first ladybug was the worst pain I've felt in a long time. It took my heart a long time to heal, but now we have two boys. It's dreadfully painful to contemplate life without them.

I am sending you lots of love. I hope you find peace, remember only good times, and rest in the knowledge that you gave your baby girl the best life you could.
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
37,268 posts, read 66,840,006 times
Reputation: 60682
I'm sorry about Callie. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Northern Illinois
2,187 posts, read 4,113,080 times
Reputation: 6392
Thank you to all of you who have posted your love and good thoughts for myself and my family. It has been a really long day and I keep looking for her in her usual places - then the tears start again. I am happy she is free from the pain and misery I know she was feeling - but my human heart is just breaking. I know time will help, but right now is really rough. Again, I know I'm not the only one who has felt this but pain is a great equalizer for us all. God bless all of you and make sure your fur children know how much you love them every single day.......
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:08 PM
 
1,774 posts, read 897,063 times
Reputation: 3899
Default Callie

I am so sorry for your loss of Callie. Thanks you for sharing her story.
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Cambridge, MA
4,837 posts, read 12,431,297 times
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All I can add to this is, take it day by day. Eventually the memories will settle comfortably with all the others you've accumulated through life. You'll be able to look back with the smiles - sometimes happy, sometimes bittersweet, but always positive - that nostalgia brings. "It's better to have loved and lost..."

I can say this from personal experience now. My beloved Weasie departed her existence on Earth 43 days ago (notice how I'm still counting?) So as to not repeat a passel of other threads I've originated or added to, I'll keep my story relatively succinct here. She had been brought, along with her brother, to live with me on December 4, 1992. Her siblings and she were put into a box after they were weaned, abandoned in the lobby of an apartment building, and found by a tenant returning home after work one day. A colleague of that person brought the pair to me as an early Christmas gift.

"Puppy" vanished forever the following March, but after several weeks of grieving Weasie regrouped and moved on with her life. She not only stuck around for all those years, she had a good thing going. Nearly every person she met was won over by her gregarious, outspoken and friendly ways (if not also conned into giving her treats.) Some of the people she got me introduced to as far back as the early '90s remain friends to this day. When I had a free evening, or a weekend day without commitments, we would each perch on either side of the front stoop. I'd catch up on reading or writing while she'd just sit there, each of us greeting neighbors and "watching the world go by." This ritual became universally recognized by passersby between March/April and October/November. Over time I grew to recognize and appreciate her many quirks, as she did mine. We even had some of the same "dialogues" on countless occasions. [("This food has been in my bowl for over an hour. I find that unacceptable, and demand that you open another can.") "That's perfectly good food, and there are millions of starving kittycats out there who can't afford to be choosy." ("Hey, it sucks to be them. You give ME what I want.") "You know the rules in this house. Until you eat everything, no more food. Now hush your mouth and stop complaining." (grumble grumble grumble under her breath as she grudgingly consumed what was there.)] Each downpour is going to remind me of all the times when the skies had opened and she insisted on going outside anyway - only to come back literally soaked to the skin and grousing about it. I still do a tentative "cat check" even while sound asleep before shifting in bed. Only a few nights ago did it occur to me that I could close the bedroom door all the way if I wanted to - no feline needed to have access to and from the rest of the house. Before I settle on the couch I continue to catch myself making sure there's room for company. Etc etc etc!

Weasie was such a trouper that her vet sincerely didn't know what to make of the weight loss which became all too apparent in September. Even though her thyroid levels were only slightly elevated, he put her on various dosages and frequencies of Methimazole - to no avail. "If she were sick, she wouldn't be behaving like this (her usual motor-mouthed socializing, easily triggered purring, and voracious eating.)" But she was sick. Finally X-rays were taken just ahead of New Year's. What I'd feared in the back of my mind since autumn was plain to see. A large tumor near the middle of her liver had metastasized to the chest region right next to her aorta. Clusters of malignant cells were showing all through her bloodstream. She was a goner, and had been since the disease first invaded - probably in early to mid-July. I've rung out years more happily, let's leave it at that.

Weeze stayed in good spirits, and rallied remarkably on January 7th and 8th during a spring-like weekend (within this "winter that wasn't.") As recounted in another thread, she and I took a "farewell tour" along three streets in our neighborhood which ended up taking most of that Saturday afternoon due to the receptions we got. Released to do as she pleased when we got home, she first re-enacted our evening/ritual during warmer weather. I sat on the top step with a magazine and she settled down on the opposite side of the stoop. But that didn't last long. She had things to do. She scooted down the steps, and then - to my astonishment - began bounding along the sidewalk like a rabbit! It was the same carefree gait she'd had while still a kitten. At one tree she even leaped into the air to swat at an insect on the wing. On her own, she returned home shortly after nightfall. And then on that Sunday morning she took care of some more of what turned out to be her last orders of business. For things took a turn for the worse the following day, then declined precipitously on Wednesday and even more so on Thursday. I took Friday the 13th off from work to "just be with her," and we must've put in at least seven hours just snuggling and snoozing together. The heart-wrenching wails and whimpers of the previous two days were forgotten - she knew the end was near, I knew it, and she knew I knew.

Moments after the clock struck noon on Saturday, January 14th, Weasie's conscious existence ceased. Those last moments were transcendent. Under sedation her tension and agony disappeared. And daily I replay the final gesture she made before going under: her right front paw lifted and then laid upon my right forearm. The vet handling the euthanasia told me that the relaxed yet quick twitches in her paws meant she was "having a dream where she's running." I'm certain she was "going to the light," as people are said to do at the time of death, and that she had seen Puppy waiting in the light for her. As for messages from the other side - THEY ABSOLUTELY HAPPEN. Only three have taken place this month, but this very morning I found a cat claw on the floor right where I walk to and from the bedroom multiple times each day. There is no conceivable way I could've missed noticing that claw for six weeks. It was in plain sight. All of these messages have been subtle but inexplicable, save for one. The house was silent and still on the afternoon of February 5th when the lid of a metal canister crashed to the kitchen floor over a foot away. I'd had a crying spell the day before and was still pensive - she was telling me to CUT IT OUT. I was not to be so sad when thinking about her, because she was enjoying her new life to the utmost.

So yeah...I'm forging ahead and getting accustomed to this "new normal," with memories of Weasie now bringing more smiles than tears. And so it will be with regard to the OP and her spouse and their Callie. Bear in mind that I'm posting this a month and a half after last rubbing the soft fur of my "sugar beet" and giving her a final kiss. There's no timetable for mourning. But know that your loved one is reveling in her new life right along with Weasie, and that we WILL rejoin them when our time arrives. Also - we are not to do anything to try and hasten that. Puppy was there to greet his sister although she lived with me for nearly two decades after he left us. They're not twiddling their thumbs and checking watches, y'know? We loved them and they loved us, and love never dies or runs out of time. ((((HUGS))))
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