She was 19. She was born in our bed - woke up one night and her mother was having kittens in the bed while we slept. Two had already been born, and she was one of them. I work at home, so she was literally with me 24/7 for 19 years. She would cry and look for me if I left the house to go to the grocery store or bank or post office. It really stressed her out if I was gone longer, and rarely did I go on trips because I didn't want to stress her.
Two weeks before she died, I noticed she was breathing a little heavy but she didn't seem like she was in pain or in any respiratory distress. Her nostrils weren't flaring and she wasn't breathing with her mouth open. I was getting ready to go out of town, so I let it go. I was gone for a week and gave my husband the vet's number in case he needed it. But he said he didn't notice anything that would be something to call the vet for, except she did start getting down on the hardwood floor, when she had pretty much always stayed on the bed before. But she had at times gotten on the floor if she was hot. We turned on the AC to make sure she wasn't too hot.
She was hyperthyroid and took methimazole, and she was not used to having other people give it to her besides me. My husband said when he tried to give it to her while I was gone, she would get really stressed out and start breathing hard. I told him not to force it on her if it stressed her out, and he finally got her to take it by mixing it with tuna juice. He said once she calmed down she seemed okay.
I just watched her when I got back from my trip. She didn't seem to be any worse than when I left, really. She didn't seem in pain, and she was eating. Not a lot, but then she never ate a lot. When I would get on the bed, if she was on the floor she would jump up on the bed and get next to me, with her paws toward me, and she would let me pet her head - and in fact wanted me to pet her head, and she head butted me like usual, and lifted her chin so I could rub under it, and rubbed her cheek against me. But she didn't seem to really want to be picked up (and never really liked it anyway, but she would tolerate it for a couple of minutes). She didn't seem to want me to touch her sides or stomach, but she didn't act like it hurt, either. But she would let me pet her on the head.
Nothing had really changed at all, but Monday (06/03) I decided I would take her to the vet anyway just to be sure everything was okay. I thought maybe they would give her some prednisone or something to help her breathing. About 15 minutes before we were going to leave for the vet, she had a few seconds where she breathed with her mouth open and seemed to have trouble breathing, so I got her in the car and went a little early to the vet. On the way there, she was breathing with her mouth closed again. She usually meows a lot in the car, but she was strangely quite (but had been quieter the last couple of weeks). I petted her in her carrier on the way, and she touched my hand with her paws. She let out one little meow when I was taking her out of the car and I told her it was okay; we were going to see the vet and we'd be going home soon. Didn't think at all that I would be leaving there without her.
The vet examined her and said he thought we should do an x-ray and see if there is fluid on her lungs, and then decide based on what that showed whether to send her to the animal hospital to have an echocardiogram. I agreed, and he took her back for the x-ray. When he brought her back, he said she got VERY stressed from the x-ray, and was having trouble breathing. He said I could either try to rush her to the animal hospital, where they would put her on oxygen, but he said honestly he didn't know if she would make it there, and that he hated to tell me, but he thought the best thing would be to put her down because she was having a hard time breathing. I agreed reluctantly, but knew it was really the only choice I had, and he went to get things ready.
Before he got back in the room, she died. She was lying in her carrier (top off) on a towel, breathing hard, and I was petting her. I wanted to hold her, so I started to pick her up and when I did, she let out a funny sound and was spasming, so I put her back down and kept petting her and in just 15 seconds or so, she was gone. I hope I didn't do anything to hurt her when I tried to pick her up.
I feel so guilty for not taking her to the vet two weeks ago. I said I didn't know she was that bad, and the vet said there is no way I could have known, and that bringing her in earlier really wouldn't have bought any time. But I feel bad because I might have spared her two weeks of suffering.
I am devastated. I wish I hadn't gone on that trip, but also grateful that it didn't happen when I was gone and I got to spend time with her after I got back. I feel bad that I was gone when she needed me. I feel bad that I was too busy to notice how sick she was. I want her back.
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