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Old 01-14-2008, 08:47 PM
 
Location: S.E. US
13,169 posts, read 239,707 times
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You loved, and loved enough to know when to let go. That was your greatest, your parting, gift of love.
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Old 01-14-2008, 09:05 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,353,973 times
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I have to post to this, HelloFromMe, I'm so with you. it's been over a year and I'm still as depressed as I was that horrible weekend. Only the guilt will not fade in my case because I was feeding my "Spacey" Rimadyl -- for symptoms of an EAR INFECTION!! A friggin EAR INFEction or vestibular disease (there's a thread on it)! Stumbled like drunk one day-- we thought she was having a stroke and rushed her. They said it could be arthritis because xray showed beginning mild arthritis & gave rimadyl because they though a nerve xray don't show may be pinching.

I had nO idea because my hard-drive had fried on puter, so knew absolutely nothing about why my dog all of a sudden began having seizures after 3 weeks since that day. They upped the Rimadyl that Friday and the seizures were so chronic by 4 am that we took her We had NO IDEA about any ear symptoms or side effects to look for because my hard drive had fried in November.

I will NEVER get over this -- ever. And we've had so so so many dogs over the years, but they always went on their own terms, so we mourned, and always had our other digs for comfort. But we had the best veterinarian on EARTH in our city back then. The BEST.
3 days after she died, the "dr." started calling our home about their corn gluten peanut hull soy garbage. We still get postcards with "reminders" for things for our surviving dog and I get upset all over again. I want to go over there and shove some rimadyl and corn gluten and soy mill run down their throats. Then they want us to kill our other dog with the skanky "food" they sell.

We SWORE it was a brain tumor, & I kept feeding her the rimadyl How many people kill their dog because they don't have Internet? I get angrier every day, I fed it to her. Her brother clings to people like crazy now . he's never been alone before and he's depressed/

Last edited by Travel'r; 01-14-2008 at 10:13 PM..
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Old 01-14-2008, 09:25 PM
 
1,657 posts, read 3,172,634 times
Reputation: 1823
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellofromme! View Post
Has anyone been through this? You know it is the right thing to do because your baby is so ill with no chance but you can't help but feel you let them down. It is especially difficult having saved the animal from sure death only to have to go through this. The sunrise that morning was the worst thing I have ever seen. I miss that dog more than anything.
I feel your pain !

I had to put my 9yr old golden retriever, "Buffy" down last yr., she had a horrible bone cancer that was killing her. That first night she was gone, I prayed and asked God for a sign that she was alright and that I would see her again someday, and I got it. That was a big relief but the pain of having lost her was still thick in the air. I still cry, to this day, whenever I think about her, even though I know she's in heaven.

My oldest pup just passed a few months ago, she was 17, and she just went in her sleep. We cried and moved on because she had a very good, long life. Some how it wasn't quite the same as having to euthanize. You're not alone, there are many of us that can empathize.

Last edited by tkdmom; 01-14-2008 at 09:35 PM..
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Old 01-15-2008, 02:34 AM
 
16,482 posts, read 22,366,692 times
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Hellofromme, I am sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be just as traumatic as losing a person close to you or family. You are still in a grieving period and that is normal and ok. Just know that your dog would want you to carry on and move forward. i hope you are feeling stronger soon.
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Old 01-15-2008, 04:39 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,178 posts, read 8,506,408 times
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Being an animal lover and having had to go through what you are going through now, gives me an understanding of your grief.
I have had dogs all of my 60 years. My black Lab is sitting by me as I type this. The first dog that I can still remember, my Dad picked up a stray little pup on his way home from work that someone apparantly had just set off by the side of the road. I was a little feller but I can still remember my Mom giving the pup a bath and then me holding the pup in a towel and the pup going to sleep on my lap like we were best buddies. Had that dog for years. Guess we went through early childhood together.
Over time I have lost other ones that became best buddies also.
The way I feel about is, there are other ones out there somewhere that deserve and want, and will return, the love and devotion that someone like you can give them. That doesn't mean you will ever forget, replace, or abandon the feelings you had for the one you lost.
It just means you are capable of still being the devoted buddy of one of his/her kind. I think that would be a tribute to your best friend and he or she would not hold it against you. I imagine they would be happy to know that you can share the love that they had for you and you for them.
I like the Rainbow bridge post even if it's just in my imagination. When I get there I'm going to have a few good friends licking my face and we will have a party.
My thoughts are with you.
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Old 01-15-2008, 04:46 AM
 
15,823 posts, read 28,157,967 times
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I don't have to add my voice to echo that of course euthanizing a suffering, untreatable ill animal is the last loving act of mercy.

We have all been through it. That thought has honestly helped me when I've been through it. I'm not sure why it helps, but it does.

Grieving is one thing, and depression is another. Depression can be a lack of feeling, a collapse of feeling, and if someone is prone to it, a loss can trigger real depression (versus appropriate grief and sadness).

It is perfectly natural to grieve a loss. If the OP is having negative thoughts about him/herself for having done the merciful thing, that could be depressing thoughts, not grief. Please try to remember how merciful it was, and how strong one must be to do the right thing for another being. It is the loving thing to do.

Every day, I drive past the meadow where my dog Kiko used to run wild, like a border collie in Scotland. I feel I'm grieving him by remembering him at his best, and missing him, and not by thinking too much about how sick he was and how I had to do that difficult thing.

Many people are thinking of you and their lost loved ones.
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Old 01-15-2008, 07:39 AM
 
528 posts, read 2,325,072 times
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Went through it this weekend, as we had to euthanize one of ours who went way too early (eight year old Golden, with cancer). I held him in my hands as he took his first breath of life, and I held him in my arms as he took his last...and we will miss him terribly, but know that we did the right thing for him when he needed us most.
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Old 01-15-2008, 08:00 AM
 
60 posts, read 274,310 times
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Default I know your pain..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellofromme! View Post
Has anyone been through this? You know it is the right thing to do because your baby is so ill with no chance but you can't help but feel you let them down. It is especially difficult having saved the animal from sure death only to have to go through this. The sunrise that morning was the worst thing I have ever seen. I miss that dog more than anything.
I'm going through this right now along with you. Please read my thread on loosing my best friend.
Sorry for your pain and loss.
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Old 01-15-2008, 09:17 AM
 
1,727 posts, read 1,626,230 times
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Well, that day I remember saying "how could it have been worth this pain?" How could I love this dog so much for 9 years and then have to say good-bye? Someone asked if I regretted getting my dog in the first place, and I said that no, that wasn't it. I mean, he was meant to be my dog. I just couldn't make sense of the process. I cried a lot, for a long time. I wouldn't quite describe it as depression - just grief, profound grief.
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Old 01-15-2008, 09:30 AM
 
1,727 posts, read 1,626,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toria View Post
Went through it this weekend, as we had to euthanize one of ours who went way too early (eight year old Golden, with cancer). I held him in my hands as he took his first breath of life, and I held him in my arms as he took his last...and we will miss him terribly, but know that we did the right thing for him when he needed us most.
Toria, so sorry about your golden. Yes, mine was a 9 year old golden with small intestinal cancer; then a month later my other golden was diagnosed with scleral melanoma (caught early because I said to the vet "what is that weird dot on the white of her eye?).
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