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It just broke my heart reading this. I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Glad to read that you're feeling better now that a few days have passed. When I lost my baby last year, everyone kept saying, "You have to let yourself grieve," which made little sense because I was in such shock, but it turned out to be good advice. You have to let yourself look at pictures over and over again, talk about her, whatever it takes.