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This weekend, we had to put our sweet 14 year old rescue pup down. He was diagnosed with a Grade 4/5 heart murmur two months ago, and seemed to be managing well on meds (but, now that I've read up on the signs of end stage CHF, I think he was misdiagnosed and was a lot closer to heart failure than my vet had led us to believe).
Early Saturday morning, our boy collapsed. He couldn't stand on his own feet, and once he was finally able to get up, he was breathing heavily, his tongue was pale/purple, and he was violently shaking even though we had him wrapped up in his favorite blanket.
We brought him to the emergency vet and they took an x-ray of his chest, which showed an extremely enlarged heart and a lung that was full of fluid and/or had collapsed. The vet said we could pay $2000 to try and get him out of the hospital, but it would likely only buy us a few more days or weeks with him (if we could even get him to a point where he was well enough to leave). Money is no object for us, and we would literally do anything for him, but knowing we'd be buying him a few weeks of suffering, we made the decision to let him go.
Ever since making that decision, I have been racked with guilt wondering if we should have tried to prolong his life. Our family vet reviewed the results and said she would have advised us to let him go as well, that he had so many other ailments and his tiny body just couldn't keep up anymore, but after reading up online about how dogs can live for 6 months to a year on meds, I can't help but think we gave up on him. At the same time, I think of his quality of life in the past few months...he was having accidents 10+ times a day in the house, was drinking excessively, never wanted to go for walks or play with his toys (which he used to LOVE doing), would bark at walls and run into things....he was a shell of the dog we had rescued 4 years earlier. But he still cuddled with us and gave us kisses and loved us, and I feel like we let him down. I feel so guilty that the first ten years of his life was spent in an abusive household, where he was dumped in the trash when they no longer wanted him, and in the end, even we couldn't save him. I cannot get the image of his final breath and the light going out of his eyes out of my mind.
I don't know how to move on and get over these feelings of guilt and loss. I miss my boy so much.
You made the right choice. Especially for a 14 year old dog. Trust me.
I had a 15 year old dog who had CHF. And I made the other choice...I selfishly subjected her to a procedure where they drained the fluid off and it only gave her another week or so. I have regrets about that. Big regrets to this day.
And it has influenced how soon I have euthanized later pets. A saying has stuck in mind since that experience...Better a week too early than a day too late
Your dog was not in good shape if he was having that many accidents, drinking excessively and not walking.
Losing our animal friends always hurts. Always. But please don't be racked with guilt about this. Remember they are relying on us, their humans, to make these decisions for them and alleviate their pain
I'm so sorry about your loss but you did the right thing. It doesn't make the loss easier but please know that
Prolonging his suffering would be selfish. Best to let him rest in peace.
I knew someone who had a dog they had to give insulin too, the dog was just existing and constantly shaking and always hungry and thirsty. The owner was too selfish and thought only about his own needs and his own feelings off loss.
My last dog was a rescued pittie mix. I had her for about six years, and the last six months of her life cost me $10,000 First, she tore her ACL. Then, after noticing she'd wet the bed, I took her in, and found out her kidneys were failing. Twice I had to take her in the the emergency vet. At the end, it was the same thing... they said there was a chance another wad of cash might buy a few more days, but her kidneys had failed and it was a matter of time. It tore me apart, but when I looked in her eyes I knew it was time, that she was ready to escape the pain.
I've always looked at this not as any kind of betrayal at all, but that I'm taking their pain onto me. And I'm happy to do that for a creature that loves me so completely.
Prolonging his suffering would be selfish. Best to let him rest in peace.
I knew someone who had a dog they had to give insulin too, the dog was just existing and constantly shaking and always hungry and thirsty. The owner was too selfish and thought only about his own needs and his own feelings off loss.
Its not for you to judge when someone else euthanizes the dog they cared for. These are difficult, individual decisions.
This weekend, we had to put our sweet 14 year old rescue pup down. He was diagnosed with a Grade 4/5 heart murmur two months ago, and seemed to be managing well on meds (but, now that I've read up on the signs of end stage CHF, I think he was misdiagnosed and was a lot closer to heart failure than my vet had led us to believe).
Early Saturday morning, our boy collapsed. He couldn't stand on his own feet, and once he was finally able to get up, he was breathing heavily, his tongue was pale/purple, and he was violently shaking even though we had him wrapped up in his favorite blanket.
We brought him to the emergency vet and they took an x-ray of his chest, which showed an extremely enlarged heart and a lung that was full of fluid and/or had collapsed. The vet said we could pay $2000 to try and get him out of the hospital, but it would likely only buy us a few more days or weeks with him (if we could even get him to a point where he was well enough to leave). Money is no object for us, and we would literally do anything for him, but knowing we'd be buying him a few weeks of suffering, we made the decision to let him go.
Ever since making that decision, I have been racked with guilt wondering if we should have tried to prolong his life. Our family vet reviewed the results and said she would have advised us to let him go as well, that he had so many other ailments and his tiny body just couldn't keep up anymore, but after reading up online about how dogs can live for 6 months to a year on meds, I can't help but think we gave up on him. At the same time, I think of his quality of life in the past few months...he was having accidents 10+ times a day in the house, was drinking excessively, never wanted to go for walks or play with his toys (which he used to LOVE doing), would bark at walls and run into things....he was a shell of the dog we had rescued 4 years earlier. But he still cuddled with us and gave us kisses and loved us, and I feel like we let him down. I feel so guilty that the first ten years of his life was spent in an abusive household, where he was dumped in the trash when they no longer wanted him, and in the end, even we couldn't save him. I cannot get the image of his final breath and the light going out of his eyes out of my mind.
I don't know how to move on and get over these feelings of guilt and loss. I miss my boy so much.
You made the decision that you felt was best at the time, and that's all you can do. There is no reason to second guess your decision. You took care of him the best you could, and made the best decision you could. There is no reason for the decision to be tainted with regret.
Please do not feel guilty about your decision you did what was best for your dog. Sometimes doing what is best for a dog is a thing that will cause us much pain. Putting the needs of others before ourselves can take a lot of strength even when it is the right thing to do.
You did not let your dog down. People sometimes feel their dog would be angry with them for the decision they made. I do not believe that I think if anything they would be thankful that you did not allow their death to be dragged out. We reach a point that when we insist on every medical thing possible to keep a loved one ( human or animal) alive for a week or two all we are doing is prolonging their death.
Do not second guess your decision as that will only cause you more pain. Yes the decision hurts and you no doubt feel as if someone ripped a hole in your heart but trust yourself that it was the right decision. Love hurts and the pain is the price we pay for love. As much as that pain can be I think it is well worth it.
OP, nothing you could have done would have made your dog immortal. Everything that lives must eventually die, and your old dog was dying when you took him into the vet. All you did was make his passing easier and less painful. That's not something to feel guilty about!
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