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Old 08-27-2019, 11:11 AM
 
4,508 posts, read 2,212,416 times
Reputation: 9329

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Yesterday I went to the SPCA and the animal shelter. I just wanted to be around dogs.

I am wondering if I will be blessed with another heart dog - I NEED one - my baby was everything to me. Everything.

Part of the mourning is the regret that I didm't know his last day was his last day (and I know, no one does, but I am stuck on this).

The night before he passed, he was staring at me from his little bed and I picked him up and took him to my chair. He gave me the sweetest hugs (nuzzling into my neck), and kisses. I told him I love him - in the morning, he was in distress and it was all just a jumble, rushing around holding him in one hand and brushing my teeth with the other and getting him to the emergency vet.

I held him in my arms like a little baby (he never allowed that for long when he was well) - and just told him he was a good boy and that I loved him, over and over until the procedure was over (which was a little long and stressful). That morning was a blur. I awoke at 7 a.m., and was handed him in a box just before 9 a.m., and he was buried just before 11 a.m., and then I was completely alone.

I have been asking him to visit me in a dream, but so far, he has not appeared.

I feel so lonely and heartbroken.
Don't rush finding another heart dog. I understand how empty your home can be and how sad you are. I think it's great that you went to be around dogs and you'll find the right one when you do. Sometimes you come home and it's the one you can't stop thinking about. It's a big adjustment to go from the love of your life to just a dog. But those animals need someone to love and care for them and even if you don't feel love at the beginning, you will give them care and have feelings for them - and you never know where that relationship will end up. It could be wonderful.

However you work out your new relationship with dogs, Mr. Forest will be waiting for you. And he'll be part of you as long as you live. Thank you for sharing him with us.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
67,503 posts, read 62,994,000 times
Reputation: 82684
I am so sorry to hear this. It is so painful when we have to let them go.

I know what you mean about feeling he loved you more than any other human. I had four cats, and now only one is left. One of those cats, who died in 2016, was like that. I felt more loved by her than any other creature in my life. I cried over her at some point every single day for a month.

Rest in peace, Forest. You were a good dog.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Chicago
1,504 posts, read 1,691,381 times
Reputation: 3400
I'm so sorry for your loss... I share your pain. My 11-year-old Boston Terrier also had congestive heart failure for two years and passed away in early July. It still feels weird that he is gone. He was a fighter for so long, but the disease progressed too much.. They also find a tumor in his heart back in May, which is what I think ultimately got him.

It's especially hard the first week... but it does better. You just have to think about all the great times you had with him and the memories you made... And you have to keep believing that you'll see him again when it's your time to go... I hope every day that I will see mine again..
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:35 AM
 
Location: planet earth
8,053 posts, read 3,473,690 times
Reputation: 17914
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC refugee View Post
Don't rush finding another heart dog. I understand how empty your home can be and how sad you are. I think it's great that you went to be around dogs and you'll find the right one when you do. Sometimes you come home and it's the one you can't stop thinking about. It's a big adjustment to go from the love of your life to just a dog. But those animals need someone to love and care for them and even if you don't feel love at the beginning, you will give them care and have feelings for them - and you never know where that relationship will end up. It could be wonderful.

However you work out your new relationship with dogs, Mr. Forest will be waiting for you. And he'll be part of you as long as you live. Thank you for sharing him with us.
Thank you.

I am just wondering about finding a "heart" dog . . . I feel I was so lucky. I got him after I lost another love (and another heart dog). I browsed the internet and he was in a city probably 75 miles from me? I was going to take a vacation in the area and called them and they said they couldn't hold him, but if he was there when I came, I could have him - and he was.

I don't remember, at all, about how I felt about him, initially - if I felt the strong bond or if it grew over time.

I wish I could remember all of my days with him.

I miss him so much.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:36 AM
 
Location: planet earth
8,053 posts, read 3,473,690 times
Reputation: 17914
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I am so sorry to hear this. It is so painful when we have to let them go.

I know what you mean about feeling he loved you more than any other human. I had four cats, and now only one is left. One of those cats, who died in 2016, was like that. I felt more loved by her than any other creature in my life. I cried over her at some point every single day for a month.

Rest in peace, Forest. You were a good dog.
Thank you! It's just heartbreaking!

We are so lucky to experience that love, though.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: planet earth
8,053 posts, read 3,473,690 times
Reputation: 17914
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss... I share your pain. My 11-year-old Boston Terrier also had congestive heart failure for two years and passed away in early July. It still feels weird that he is gone. He was a fighter for so long, but the disease progressed too much.. They also find a tumor in his heart back in May, which is what I think ultimately got him.

It's especially hard the first week... but it does better. You just have to think about all the great times you had with him and the memories you made... And you have to keep believing that you'll see him again when it's your time to go... I hope every day that I will see mine again..
I just feel bad that I wasn't a better dog mom - more walks, more treats. more everything.

I did do a "pretty good job," but right now, I wish I could lavish him with everything good in the world.

He was so enthusiastic and just a sheer joy every single day. No bad days with him - He was not moody, but had to suffer through my moods.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Chicago
1,504 posts, read 1,691,381 times
Reputation: 3400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I just feel bad that I wasn't a better dog mom - more walks, more treats. more everything.

I did do a "pretty good job," but right now, I wish I could lavish him with everything good in the world.

He was so enthusiastic and just a sheer joy every single day. No bad days with him - He was not moody, but had to suffer through my moods.
If I thought of all the things I should have done with my dog, I would torture myself. Don't do that. It sounds like you did the very best you could and that he had a great life. That's all you can do.. None of us are perfect.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
38,811 posts, read 24,467,676 times
Reputation: 55351
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure you were an awesome Mom, provider and friend to Forest. He had a long happy life with you.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
4,922 posts, read 11,221,300 times
Reputation: 9382
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Yesterday I went to the SPCA and the animal shelter. I just wanted to be around dogs.

I am wondering if I will be blessed with another heart dog - I NEED one - my baby was everything to me. Everything.

Part of the mourning is the regret that I didm't know his last day was his last day (and I know, no one does, but I am stuck on this).

The night before he passed, he was staring at me from his little bed and I picked him up and took him to my chair. He gave me the sweetest hugs (nuzzling into my neck), and kisses. I told him I love him - in the morning, he was in distress and it was all just a jumble, rushing around holding him in one hand and brushing my teeth with the other and getting him to the emergency vet.

I held him in my arms like a little baby (he never allowed that for long when he was well) - and just told him he was a good boy and that I loved him, over and over until the procedure was over (which was a little long and stressful). That morning was a blur. I awoke at 7 a.m., and was handed him in a box just before 9 a.m., and he was buried just before 11 a.m., and then I was completely alone.

I have been asking him to visit me in a dream, but so far, he has not appeared.

I feel so lonely and heartbroken.
I hope you can open your heart to another dog. Some people like me can do it before or right after a loss others take a long time. It took my sister years as she felt guilty like doing so meant she had not loved her old dog if she "replaced him" so soon. I am not replacing a dog as that is not possible but rather I am opening a new chapter to my life/My getting a new dog so fast to me means I loved my past dog so much that I can not imagine life without dogs in it and to me that is a great honor to my dog. 10 years ago when I lost Dash to nasal cancer I think he hung around as long as he did to make sure new dog Dazzle ( the one I just put down) was able to fill in his paw prints and make me and my other dog happy like he himself had. So just take it a day at a time and you will know when you meet a dog that will help fill that huge hole in your heart. Hugs to you in this difficult time and you are not alone people here can be very supportive and open to listening to you pour out your heart and doing so often helps too.
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:46 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,053 posts, read 3,473,690 times
Reputation: 17914
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dashdog View Post
I hope you can open your heart to another dog. Some people like me can do it before or right after a loss others take a long time. It took my sister years as she felt guilty like doing so meant she had not loved her old dog if she "replaced him" so soon. I am not replacing a dog as that is not possible but rather I am opening a new chapter to my life/My getting a new dog so fast to me means I loved my past dog so much that I can not imagine life without dogs in it and to me that is a great honor to my dog. 10 years ago when I lost Dash to nasal cancer I think he hung around as long as he did to make sure new dog Dazzle ( the one I just put down) was able to fill in his paw prints and make me and my other dog happy like he himself had. So just take it a day at a time and you will know when you meet a dog that will help fill that huge hole in your heart. Hugs to you in this difficult time and you are not alone people here can be very supportive and open to listening to you pour out your heart and doing so often helps too.
Thank you. I have gotten a lot of support, both here, and on Facebook, and it REALLY helps. I honestly felt yesterday I could not survive this loss of love in my life.
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