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Old 07-05-2009, 12:01 AM
 
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD
3,673 posts, read 2,727,350 times
Reputation: 5428

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My best friend Pumpkin the Cat left me way to soon. I adopted this goofy tortoiseshell Persian back in 1996, up until she passed away in my arms Nov 2004. I still haven;t fully recovered. She saw me thru my divorce, major surgeries and layoffs, and I thought that after 4-1/2 years I'd be over her loss, but I'm still saddened.
I can function and all, but each day there are subtle reminders of what was, and what will never be again-the empty spot on my bed where she used to sleep, her brushing against my leg when I'm at my desk. I guess the one that hits hardest was that every day when I got to my door, I'd turn the key, hear her meow, and when I'd open the door, she;d run out into the hallway all happy to see me. Now turning the key brings only silence, and an emptiness that I can;t even begin to describe.

Does it EVER get easier?
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Old 07-05-2009, 04:46 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,176 posts, read 8,679,467 times
Reputation: 3948
I had a dog that I got when I was about 9 years old. We grew up together.
He went with the family on vacations. He met me everyday when I got off the school bus. We went sled riding together. We lived in a rural area and me and him explored all the woods and fields in the area. I remember a big tree that had fallen but was still at about a 45 degree angle to the ground that he would climb all the way to the top and look down at me like he was king of the mountain. He slept with me every night for years.
I went in the Army and he died 2 weeks before I got out. I still think about him and I am 62 years old.
I'm not sad when I think about him. I just think of being so lucky to have had a pet like that. He is buried at the back of the yard where I grew up and where he chased balls, sticks, old shoes, etc, and where my Mom still lives.
My family recently had a reunion and my sister had a list of questions about our family for the younger members to try to answer.
One of the questions was "who was the smartest and best dog that ever lived?"
Everyone knew the answer. It was "Tippy".
Because all these decades later we still talk about Tippy.
Yes, it gets easier with time.
You can't let your friends passing be an obsession. Think about how lucky you were to have had your friend for the time you did and be gratefull. They are only here for a little while and they don't want us to grieve when we lose them. They want us to be like we were when they were here. Happy.
I have had many pets over the years that I have loved but never one like Tippy.
I have a Lab/mix now that makes me think I just might have the same feelings for as Tippy. I consider myself very lucky to have TWO once in a lifetime pets.
Maybe there is another one in your future also.
Don't deprive yourself of the chance to find out.
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Old 07-05-2009, 02:12 PM
 
Location: So. California
625 posts, read 893,841 times
Reputation: 1100
Does it get easier, yes in time. Will there always be some sorrow, yes, of course. There is a hole in your heart how, and it will always be there. But you learn to live with it and it hurts less as time passes. My other wonderful little friends help. For every hole I have, a new love comes along to make it feel less painful. Not as a replacement, but as a brand new furry friend to give my love to and to take away the loneliness. I still grieve, some days I'm in tears a lot, for Nugget was one of those special dogs that rarely come along, and she was snatched from life after only 5 short years. Besides the pain I deal with a lot of anger on that. But after six months I can go several days now without remembering the loss. But you know, I still have rare moments when I miss my very first dog, who was also one of those special ones, and that was nearly 40 years ago. I think you'll always miss Pumpkin, you loved her! She got you through tough times, like my Nugget did for me. That's special. But you are healing, even if it's slow. Be patient. Take care.
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Old 07-05-2009, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 3,557,845 times
Reputation: 901
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeaveWI View Post
My best friend Pumpkin the Cat left me way to soon. I adopted this goofy tortoiseshell Persian back in 1996, up until she passed away in my arms Nov 2004. I still haven;t fully recovered. She saw me thru my divorce, major surgeries and layoffs, and I thought that after 4-1/2 years I'd be over her loss, but I'm still saddened.
I can function and all, but each day there are subtle reminders of what was, and what will never be again-the empty spot on my bed where she used to sleep, her brushing against my leg when I'm at my desk. I guess the one that hits hardest was that every day when I got to my door, I'd turn the key, hear her meow, and when I'd open the door, she;d run out into the hallway all happy to see me. Now turning the key brings only silence, and an emptiness that I can;t even begin to describe.

Does it EVER get easier?
I understand your feelings my friend. My beloved cocker spaniel Nellie has been gone from this world a year and a half and I still miss her oh so much. Althought this may not console you now, remember that you will see your friend Pumpkin again in Heaven.
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Old 07-05-2009, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 21,797,408 times
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I truly understand your grief. Our Strudel died nine years ago, and it was three years before I could even look at another dog to adopt. When our Lucy died (she was a 25 year old cat and a stray), I found another cat that looked just like her at the humane assn. That cat was 14 years old and had been discarded by other owners. I felt that Lucy was telling me to take her home. It does get easier with time, but the best thing is that you never forget. There will be a time when you all will meet again. If you are thinking about adopting again, you will know when the right time comes. I would not rush into it, but when the right pet is in front of you, you will know. I wish you the best. It will get better.
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Old 07-05-2009, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Living on 10 acres in Oklahoma
1,188 posts, read 5,278,082 times
Reputation: 1198
It does get easier but you have to be consciously trying to process and acknowledge your grief/sadness to work through it. Turn that energy into something positive. When I lost my 15 y/o cat Merlin a few years ago, it was very hard on me. I had had him my whole life after he wondered up as a 4 month old kitten. When he passed I was a little lost to say the least. Merlin was my little man and did things my other cats didn't...he had all the personality. I took my hurt and tried to refocus it on something positive. I started to volunteer with animals again. I told Merlin I was honoring him but helping other pets that needed guidance and love. Plus, leaning on the love of my other pets (2 dogs and 2 cats) and my partner really assisted me too. When the time is right, honor your Strudel and have that pet/owner relationship again. There are too many (+)'s to owning, loving and caring for a pet!
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Old 07-06-2009, 02:04 AM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
42,929 posts, read 26,748,678 times
Reputation: 129171
I still miss some of the pets that have died over the years. When you're a lifetime pet owner, it's inevitable.

One thing that helps is getting other pets. You provide a needy critter with a forever home and you enjoy their friendship every bit as much as the ones who came before.
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Old 07-06-2009, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Over the Rainbow...
5,963 posts, read 11,433,261 times
Reputation: 3157
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeaveWI View Post
My best friend Pumpkin the Cat left me way to soon. I adopted this goofy tortoiseshell Persian back in 1996, up until she passed away in my arms Nov 2004. I still haven;t fully recovered. She saw me thru my divorce, major surgeries and layoffs, and I thought that after 4-1/2 years I'd be over her loss, but I'm still saddened.
I can function and all, but each day there are subtle reminders of what was, and what will never be again-the empty spot on my bed where she used to sleep, her brushing against my leg when I'm at my desk. I guess the one that hits hardest was that every day when I got to my door, I'd turn the key, hear her meow, and when I'd open the door, she;d run out into the hallway all happy to see me. Now turning the key brings only silence, and an emptiness that I can;t even begin to describe.

Does it EVER get easier?
The memories will always be there. Pumpkin will let you know when she is ready for you to get another kitty. Three years ago our elderly pekinese died and we were heartbroken. About 3 months after her death I accidentally came across another Peke and I knew that she had sent me that way and that it was time for me to get another one; not ever to replace her, but to give love to another one that was in the shelter. We adopted him, he was a little old guy and he lived for 1.5 years but during that short time he received lots and lots of love and attention. He passed from heart failure. I, to this day, miss every single animal I have lost but I know they are waiting for me to one day join them. My best to you.
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Old 07-06-2009, 09:17 AM
 
325 posts, read 1,079,251 times
Reputation: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post
I still miss some of the pets that have died over the years. When you're a lifetime pet owner, it's inevitable.

One thing that helps is getting other pets. You provide a needy critter with a forever home and you enjoy their friendship every bit as much as the ones who came before.
When my precious little Asia passed away in 2006 I thought to myself "no more animals". Well, needless to say I have several fur babies again .

Asia will always have a place in my heart, but giving a good home to another baby helped heal me.
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Old 07-06-2009, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD
3,673 posts, read 2,727,350 times
Reputation: 5428
Thanks all for your kind words and encouragement. It really means a lot. I appreciate it.
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