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To those poster asking about teens...I have a 16 year old. She knew that last year was going to be her last year, and boy did she have fun! We went online and researched schools, and she chose the high school she wanted to attend. As schools are our top priority in choosing a house, we didnt' look at any houses that did not go to that school. We found the clubs/activites that she enjoys. We took a tour yesterday and she is so excited about going there. (West Johnston if anyone is familiar!). We also "held off" of driver's ed, since the rules are so different there from here. She starts that at West next week, another thing to look forward to in the move.
Oh, and she has been most excited about the prospect of redecorating her room! Go figure! She's spent hours online looking at bedding and ideas and coming up with creative ways to make it her own space. I really am allowing her to do anything she wants with it, in an effort to encourage her enthusiasm for the move.
During the end of the year, when she was having to say goodbyes...she would be one minute sad and upset...5 minutes later she'd be chatting about the excitement of being in NC. I guess just as leaving was bittersweet for us, it was for her too.
Oh, and we've made sure that this summer is full of fun things for her (and our 10 year old). We've already visited family in MD, we'll be going to Bush Garden's, DC and Wilmington beach, oh and we are taking them shopping for back to school clothes at the "5th largest mall in the US" LOL (Tyson's Corner). It's the little things!
If we move, I've told my son that he'll have his own car (yup, lousy parenting, I know, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!). I'll most likely be getting a new(er) one anyway with the job, so he'll have my 8 year old Volvo.
I think you have to tell the kids a little while before you move to get them used to the idea.
It has taken quite a few months for our 14 year old to accept that we are moving but now she is able to talk about it and is helping to plan the trip down and anticipating what life will be like down there.
I think it would have been very difficult for her if we had suddenly announced, OK tomorrow we are leaving the only place you have ever known.
Make sure you give them time to say goodbye to their friends. We threw my son a going away party and more than 20 families whose children he has been in school with since kindergarten showed up! They talked about good times and funny times. They swam and shared pizza and cake. Some of the girls made a photo frame with their pictures, reading "We will miss you" and he loved it! It gave him closure. Also, some children exchanged addresses (email) so they can stay in touch. Today's kids have digital cameras and can share photos electronically to stay connected.
Plus, we have told him that we'd be back to visit. Dallas is a great place to visit as long as you avoid the summer months. I know New Jersey is too! At least you can drive there.
Make sure you give them time to say goodbye to their friends. We threw my son a going away party and more than 20 families whose children he has been in school with since kindergarten showed up! They talked about good times and funny times. They swam and shared pizza and cake. Some of the girls made a photo frame with their pictures, reading "We will miss you" and he loved it! It gave him closure. Also, some children exchanged addresses (email) so they can stay in touch. Today's kids have digital cameras and can share photos electronically to stay connected.
Plus, we have told him that we'd be back to visit. Dallas is a great place to visit as long as you avoid the summer months. I know New Jersey is too! At least you can drive there.
Going away parties can be great for kids...we had one for our daughter who was in third grade...it was winter so we got a room at an indoor waterpark....they had so much fun.
Getting the kids set up with an email is important to. She still emails friends from there to this day.
Excellent advice! My oldest daughter's birthday is in July. I think she will have very fond memories of her birthday party. We could move early as August 1st if my husband's offer has a decent relo package. He got the verbal offer. We are just waiting for the fine print. She is turning six years old and is a pro with Webkinz and the Noggin website. So I think I will set up an email for her!
I'm getting a bit nervous as I do not yet have a firm offer--if it comes, the earliest it will come is next week. Then there's going to be negotiating on salary, relo packages, etc. School starts here right after labor day and earlier there. My oldest (going into 11th) plays football and training camp starts in early August. If we're going to do this, we need to do it now! And that includes finding the place to live, the schools, etc. He's away until the end of July doing a leadership training program in NH.
I'm getting a bit nervous as I do not yet have a firm offer--if it comes, the earliest it will come is next week. Then there's going to be negotiating on salary, relo packages, etc. School starts here right after labor day and earlier there. My oldest (going into 11th) plays football and training camp starts in early August. If we're going to do this, we need to do it now! And that includes finding the place to live, the schools, etc. He's away until the end of July doing a leadership training program in NH.
Hi there,
Try and take one step at a time. We are kind of both in similiar situations with our potential moves, and when I start to feel overwelmed, I try and say to myself, what ever is meant to be, will be. Sounds like an old cliche', but I really think it is true. We are listing our house in a few weeks, and I am just going on with the kids activities like we're not going anywhere. My son also starts football August 1st, the kids are in swimming lessons, my big boys are registering for college up here, the little ones start 3rd and 5th grade in a couple of months, and if we happen to move in the meantime, then our plans will change, and if we happen to move during football season, Kevin will just transfer down there. I know it is more difficult with your son, much older than mine, but I'm just not going to sweat it, too stressful. You seem to be the one in the family that takes on all the worrying for everyone, like I do, but try not to put so much stress on yourself, good things will happen, I'm sure. Good luck! Jeannie
We moved within the past 6 mos. My kids are 10, 8, 6 and 2. The hardest part for us is that we sold 1 house, lived with our inlaws for 3 months, and then closed on our new house. We moved from NC to OH back to NC (a different city!) all in the space of 3.5 months. It was tough!
As far as telling the kids, we were always open with them. They knew we were thinking about moving and came along with us as we scoped out neighborhoods and houses, etc. Of course they complained about moving (the older 3 did anyway) but we talked about it a LOT! We talked about how they'd each have their own room in the new house, and how we'd be able to go to Carowinds whenever we wanted (we moved from Apex to Indian Trail, near Charlotte) and basically played up all the positives. That doesn't mean that there weren't plenty of tears shed by everyone along the way, but we survived and the kids are thriving here.
I think honesty is the best policy. Make the kids as involved as they can be in every aspect of the situation. It isn't easy to feel like you're upsetting your kids, but as adults we ultimately get to decide where we are going to live. Just do what you can to make the kids feel as involved in that decision as they can be.
We sold our house and are in the process of moving into a rental here in town. If we move again, we'll barely be unpacked!
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Good luck! Jeannie
