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Ok let me start by saying I'm not miserable, things are just not the way I want them to be.....we researched, looked, had neighborhoods narrowed down, etc. but in the week (yes, a week, long story) we had to buy a house we made the best choice of houses that were available but I am not happy. I know I need to stop looking at the listings but I keep seeing houses that are on the market now (but weren't in March) and thinking "darn"! I know I need to give it time but it's more structural than neighborhood...everyone has been so nice in the neighborhood and I'm so glad we moved to NC. I just don't like my house! What do I do? Deal? Vent to a forum about stupid issues like a bad back yard and small bedrooms? Or wait for a year or two and then move? Any suggestions (other than deep breaths)? How has anyone else dealt with this?
There are pros and cons to every situation. You made the best decision possible for your family with the information you had available. The market is constantly changing and even if you were to get another home right now, you'd want a different one online 4 months later. With all of the new construction, it's hard to compare homes. At least you own your own home and with that, you have the right to sell it and upgrade whenever you want. My realtor said appreciation (in Wake County) is between 3 - 6 % a year. It's a seller's market if your house is valued under 400K (which I am assuming it is) so don't feel despair if you're that unhappy with the house itself. How does your family like it?
We've moved about 3 times in the last 5 years and I have to say, each and every time I cried about the new situation and carried on about it not feeling like "home". Give it about a month... once you are whirling around the kitchen and the day-to-day routine sets in, you'll start liking it and feeling more comfortable. If not, flip it in a year or so... perhaps your "dream home" isn't available until then anyway!
KL967 had a good point. We had to sell our house here in MA because we got into a financial mess and now we are renting until we decide what to do about NC. In fact, if we don't move to NC, we'll still be renting because we about lost our shirts. (long story, long unemployment on husband's part, bad decision not to go back to work FT soon enough on my part, etc.). We've moved quite a bit in our lives and we've always purchased a house in the new location (all were corporate relos). Now, if we get to NC, finances will dictate that we rent, initially but you know, I think that's what we would have done anyway, to get a feel for the neighborhood. But maybe not? I don't relish the thought of moving twice--that's why we always just bought.
To the OP: Be glad you were able to afford a home. We feel like grifters having to live in a rental after being homeowners for 20+ years. And as I said in an earlier post, I didn't like our house when we first purchased it but in the 10 years we owned it, we did so much work on it that it was really heartwrenching to have to sell it. We're moving into our rental here in MA today and I've been in tears the past few weeks. Husband is feeling even lower since he blames himself for all this. We're a mess. Be glad things worked out for you.
Once again the forum has come through for me. Thanks for the understanding replies. You're right, we need to give it more time to adjust but it has not been easy when the differences in our old house and this place are so prominent....my kids miss the big finished basement and swing set, my husband misses the sprinkler system and alarm, I miss the open foyer and southeastern exposure that gave us so much light in the kitchen. Yes, some things can be fixed (alarm, etc) but others can't (our yard is too steep for a playset) and I guess that's what is setting in for me. I just try to focus on my beautiful screened in porch and big kitchen. The back of the house is up high and the kids say it's like being in a tree house....And yes in a year or so we could move. Just the thought of going through all of that moving stuff "just to get a different" house is so overwhelming!
Last edited by rkburk; 07-10-2007 at 07:01 AM..
Reason: typo
Once again the forum has come through for me. Thanks for the understanding replies. You're right, we need to give it more time to adjust but it has not been easy when the differences in our old house and this place are so prominent....my kids miss the big finished basement and swing set, my husband misses the sprinkler system and alarm, I miss the open foyer and southeastern exposure that gave us so much light in the kitchen. Yes, some things can be fixed (alarm, etc) but others can't (our yard is too steep for a playset) and I guess that's what is setting in for me. I just try to focus on my beautiful screened in porch and big kitchen. The back of the house is up high and the kids say it's like being in a tree house....And yes in a year or so we could move. Just the thought of going through all of that moving stuff "just to get a different" house is so overwhelming!
It's hard when you had become emotionally attached to a house, and as you see you are not alone.
Is it possible to level off a portion of the yard? With maybe a retaining wall or something? And then you can put steps leading down to the rest of the yard?
Ok...take a deep breath. Stop thinking about it, worrying about it. Just forget it. You made the best decision you could, under the circumstances. Stop beating yourself up over it.
Take one room and paint it. Make it yours. Change what you can and accept that its yours...for now.
A year is not long in the scheme of things. If after that first year, you still do not like that house...sell it, move on. Its really not that difficult. Tell yourself that.
Maybe after that first year and you've made a few changes to the house and you've met some of the neighbors, you'll see things differently and if not, sell it! You aren't "married" to that house!
KL967 had a good point. We had to sell our house here in MA because we got into a financial mess and now we are renting until we decide what to do about NC. In fact, if we don't move to NC, we'll still be renting because we about lost our shirts. (long story, long unemployment on husband's part, bad decision not to go back to work FT soon enough on my part, etc.). We've moved quite a bit in our lives and we've always purchased a house in the new location (all were corporate relos). Now, if we get to NC, finances will dictate that we rent, initially but you know, I think that's what we would have done anyway, to get a feel for the neighborhood. But maybe not? I don't relish the thought of moving twice--that's why we always just bought.
To the OP: Be glad you were able to afford a home. We feel like grifters having to live in a rental after being homeowners for 20+ years. And as I said in an earlier post, I didn't like our house when we first purchased it but in the 10 years we owned it, we did so much work on it that it was really heartwrenching to have to sell it. We're moving into our rental here in MA today and I've been in tears the past few weeks. Husband is feeling even lower since he blames himself for all this. We're a mess. Be glad things worked out for you.
Yes, you are absolutely right....I even felt "complainy" posting my feelings when there is so much else in the world to be concerned about. I've moved several times in my life and just never felt this way before and I guess just under estimated the emotional attachment that I had to my old house. Like you we had put so much TLC into it. It was our home in every sense of the word. I hope things improve for you
Last edited by rkburk; 07-10-2007 at 07:34 AM..
Reason: typo
I think it's difficult to house hunt and find the "perfect house" from out-of-town. Sure, plenty of people do it - but other factors can make it problematic. In my case, houses in my price range (low $200's) with large lots/mature trees tend to sell very quickly. Often by the time I got down here, the houses I was interested in would already have contracts on them. I wound up finding a house that meets my needs for now, with the intention of selling early next year (2 years after moving to the area). Frankly if I felt like I had to stay here much longer than that I'd be pretty bummed. At least now I'm living in the area, and will be able to "jump on" my dream house when it pops up on the MLS.
I've decided that unless you're filthy rich you never get absolutely everything that you want in a house. Most things in life involve a trade-off: you may get some things you want but then you may have to give up other things.
Location is one of the most important things if not THE most important thing
when buying a house. You have that and try to remember to count your
blessings.I moved very quickly from MD and while I'm happy with my choice of a home there are still some things that I would change if I could.
I encourage you to dwell on the positive things about your house and make little changes that will make your home more appealing to you. Also, remember that the happier you are the more happy your husband and children will be. If Mom's not happy, no one is happy!
I wish you the best. I too would be overwhelmed by the thought of moving again.
Ell
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Thank for venting it out
