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If some people would have done proper research before moving, they would have learned that RDU has four distinct seasons, which means the summers can be hot and humid and the winters can be cold with some snow and ice, even ice storms! It seems like some people in the North move to Raleigh with an erroneous, mythological notion that Raleigh is in Florida instead of North Carolina.
It's not limited to the weather, per se. If you are a native, as your moniker implies, I sure don't want to insult your native state or place of birth. It's not a SLAM on the area, but an informed comparison of "what one had" vs. "what one now has" or has not.
The long, hot months are simply straining, wearing, and expensive. Just to maintain a reasonable level of comfort in our house from June till late October, it was $300+ per month for a couple of those months. Heat takes its toll. When you simply cannot enjoy 5 minutes outside the house for 3 months, leaving winter out of it, something's not sitting right with many transplants. And no amount of "research" on anyone's part equates to the ability to forecast record heat, drought, and cold spells that have befallen this region just within the past several years.
Then there's the foul air. Pollution. The black soot that stains the screened porch and window frames and irritates the throat and lungs. Never experienced that in New England, not sure if others did, but aside from seasonal allergies (hay fever) my family and I did not have respiratory issues till we moved to the Triangle. It's nothing inside our house. We ave had that checked 3 times, 3 different companies.
The incompetence. Contractors who drag feet faithfully and do either a crappy, unacceptable job or charge a premium because of where yyou live. Doctor's offices that do not return phone calls (even though it's important stuff). I know this takes place elsewhere. But here, it's rampant, discouraging as can be and likely the norm as long as customers' standards remain low.
The drivers. I drove for 29 years in Massachusetts and extensively from Montreal to Orlando, and hundreds of thousands of miles in between. Rudest, laziest, most aggressive drivers in largest numbers, in my experience, live right here. Granted, A LOT of angry drivers come from New England and New York and New Jersey, and a huge number of them brought their horrible driving habits with them, and got even worse. I know it sounds like a big generalization, but I will completely stand by it.
Total lack of anything sustaining to do. If you're not a college football fan, or a Hurricanes fan, you're SOL. The Durham Bulls are the best draw for baseball fans, and a great time. Granted, lack of research would prove that big league sports do not exist here. But there really is a vacuum where little else exists. It's always easy for folks to offer up the old stand-bys: hiking, biking, art, etc. but many, many people do not do that stuff.
As far as friends go: My wife, kids and I never had a shortage of friends up north. People made time for each other, despite hectic schedules and severe winters. We are well-liked here as well by those we interact with. But people are comfortable with limited personal involvement here, keep you at arm's length, and even if you seem to meet a totally compatible individual or family and exchange numbers, it dies on the vine. They never call you, and you call and leave a message or two and that's the end. There's as awful lot of self-absorption in the area.
Not a lot of this is unique to this region, so one does not have to assert that "it was like that in Houston" or "Iowa" or "Nashville". Regarding this place, where we pay taxes and have roots, however shallow, is all I am referring to and what is pertinent to the issue.
It's just kind of spirit-less around here. Filthy, disgusting medians, roadways, shoulders and ramps. Same-old, same-old for the rest.......this mall, that mall, my list is getting short. Some of people's favorite foods, household items, ingredients, etc. are just not to be found here. It is not "wrong" that these things are missing, but it certainly is pertinent to the overall negative vibe one may incur while time passes in an adopted place to live.
Again, if you're from here, not intending to insult. This thread solicited opinions, and mine are always honest and heart-felt (even if they may appear "wrong" in someone else's eyes). Just my take on things.
You can't research in a few short trips or even weeks what it will inevitably take a couple of calendar year cycles of weather to experience for yourself. It's easy to complain and I think I have done a worthy job here. When a thread is created about all the wonderful things the Raleigh area has to offer, well, if I post at all, it will be one sentence or less.
You know, all I can say further about this is that if some of you are unhappy after moving here from Boston, NY, NJ, or wherever you can always pack your bags and go back. Nobody is going to stop you.
It's not limited to the weather, per se. If you are a native, as your moniker implies, I sure don't want to insult your native state or place of birth. It's not a SLAM on the area, but an informed comparison of "what one had" vs. "what one now has" or has not.
The long, hot months are simply straining, wearing, and expensive. Just to maintain a reasonable level of comfort in our house from June till late October, it was $300+ per month for a couple of those months. Heat takes its toll. When you simply cannot enjoy 5 minutes outside the house for 3 months, leaving winter out of it, something's not sitting right with many transplants. And no amount of "research" on anyone's part equates to the ability to forecast record heat, drought, and cold spells that have befallen this region just within the past several years.
Then there's the foul air. Pollution. The black soot that stains the screened porch and window frames and irritates the throat and lungs. Never experienced that in New England, not sure if others did, but aside from seasonal allergies (hay fever) my family and I did not have respiratory issues till we moved to the Triangle. It's nothing inside our house. We ave had that checked 3 times, 3 different companies.
The incompetence. Contractors who drag feet faithfully and do either a crappy, unacceptable job or charge a premium because of where yyou live. Doctor's offices that do not return phone calls (even though it's important stuff). I know this takes place elsewhere. But here, it's rampant, discouraging as can be and likely the norm as long as customers' standards remain low.
The drivers. I drove for 29 years in Massachusetts and extensively from Montreal to Orlando, and hundreds of thousands of miles in between. Rudest, laziest, most aggressive drivers in largest numbers, in my experience, live right here. Granted, A LOT of angry drivers come from New England and New York and New Jersey, and a huge number of them brought their horrible driving habits with them, and got even worse. I know it sounds like a big generalization, but I will completely stand by it.
Total lack of anything sustaining to do. If you're not a college football fan, or a Hurricanes fan, you're SOL. The Durham Bulls are the best draw for baseball fans, and a great time. Granted, lack of research would prove that big league sports do not exist here. But there really is a vacuum where little else exists. It's always easy for folks to offer up the old stand-bys: hiking, biking, art, etc. but many, many people do not do that stuff.
As far as friends go: My wife, kids and I never had a shortage of friends up north. People made time for each other, despite hectic schedules and severe winters. We are well-liked here as well by those we interact with. But people are comfortable with limited personal involvement here, keep you at arm's length, and even if you seem to meet a totally compatible individual or family and exchange numbers, it dies on the vine. They never call you, and you call and leave a message or two and that's the end. There's as awful lot of self-absorption in the area.
Not a lot of this is unique to this region, so one does not have to assert that "it was like that in Houston" or "Iowa" or "Nashville". Regarding this place, where we pay taxes and have roots, however shallow, is all I am referring to and what is pertinent to the issue.
It's just kind of spirit-less around here. Filthy, disgusting medians, roadways, shoulders and ramps. Same-old, same-old for the rest.......this mall, that mall, my list is getting short. Some of people's favorite foods, household items, ingredients, etc. are just not to be found here. It is not "wrong" that these things are missing, but it certainly is pertinent to the overall negative vibe one may incur while time passes in an adopted place to live.
Again, if you're from here, not intending to insult. This thread solicited opinions, and mine are always honest and heart-felt (even if they may appear "wrong" in someone else's eyes). Just my take on things.
You can't research in a few short trips or even weeks what it will inevitably take a couple of calendar year cycles of weather to experience for yourself. It's easy to complain and I think I have done a worthy job here. When a thread is created about all the wonderful things the Raleigh area has to offer, well, if I post at all, it will be one sentence or less.
My parents moved to NC from up north when I was a baby.
My mom HATED it. She left her family and friends due to my dad's job.
She didn't fit in and didn't WANT to fit in. She had only 2 good friends in NC and COMPLAINED constrantly throughout my school years.
Since I spent my time with friends and grew up in NC, I did not understand WHY she was so unhappy. When we went back up north to visit, I did not understand WHY "those people" were so unhappy and just thought it was the way they were brought up. I didn't understand that it is just the different ways some people communicate. I grew up thinking I NEVER wanted to live up north!!!
My parents retired and moved to Florida. They lived there about 20 years.
About 10 years ago, they moved back to NC to be near the kids and grandkids. They love it here. They say that they never want to live anywhere else!
So, what changed? Their mindset? Their expectations? Their needs and wants?
The ONE THING I remember about how unhappy my mom was during my school years is that I made a promise to myselt that I would NEVER live anywhere that made me that UNHAPPY.
Life is short, people. If you don't like where you live, move. If you don't like what you do for work, change jobs. If you don't like the people in your life, change them.
No, it isn't that easy but it can and should be done. Life is short.
"I find that Raleigh along with many other Southern cities (Savannah, Richmond, Charleston, Memphis, etc.) and towns have become very romanticized in magazines like Southern Living. They paint a portrait of a perfect place to live with all of these wonderful things to do and see, but when you actually LIVE there, you realize it's never all it's chalked up to be."
Even the people who live here have a romanticized vision because they believe all the press. My dear sweet Southern husband actually said to me one time, early in our marriage, that "Everyone up North would move here if they could, but they just can't afford it."
Uh, no. There are wonderful, incredible, beautiful, exciting, and friendly places all over the country. It's a big country.
The Triangle used to have plenty of jobs. It doesn't have wicked winters. Real estate taxes are low. Those things made it top the lists for great places to live. But it has never been Utopia.
Everything eloyfan said is true. But natives here have not usually had the experience of living elsewhere, and they accept the negatives, no questions asked, or they don't have a clue that life can be different -- even better -- elsewhere.
And like most things in life, there is good and there is bad in just about everything.
"Going back" is usually not possible for most people.
But natives here have not usually had the experience of living elsewhere, and they accept the negatives, no questions asked, or they don't have a clue that life can be different -- even better -- elsewhere.
.
So true, and true of so many places. Natives here seem to think that every person in NY, NJ and MA is waiting with baited breath to move down here, I can assure them that it only SEEMS that way. Most people on Long Island, where I'm from, would not in a million years consider moving here - Long Island is all they know, and they embrace or don't acknowledge any negatives.
I think moving away from family can be rough on anybody. A location, great or not, can not replace family.
FWIW, I think there is a world of difference between and empty nester moving to say North Raleigh or Cary vs. Johnston County. I think there is simply just a lot more to do for people of all ages in Wake County than there is in Johnston County.
Totally agree with this. Johnston cty is kind of the sticks.
Everything eloyfan said is true. But natives here have not usually had the experience of living elsewhere, and they accept the negatives, no questions asked, or they don't have a clue that life can be different -- even better -- elsewhere.
I find a lot of that statement to be true. I also think it has to do with how you grew up or how you are accustomed to living. I've had the opposite experience compared to most on this forum: I grew up in the South- a rural area to be exact- and then moved first up north and then out to California. When I was growing up there were no museums, clubs, close-by beaches, scads of "Slo food" restaurants, and so on. There was a large yard, a field, and a couple of grocery stores 20 miles away. That was it. Yet somehow I wasn't bored, depressed or deprived. I'd have absolutely no problem moving back to such a place tomorrow.
After having lived on both coasts I think there are two very distinct types of people who live in either the established coasts or in the middle of the country. Those who grew up in places like NJ, NY, and CA have been conditioned in an expensive, and in my opinion more difficult everyday living environment. On the other hand there is admittedly more stuff to do and see in a lot of those areas and this in turn is what is used by many as justification for that added cost of living. But then when the cost of living becomes unbearable those same people then start moving to 2nd tier cities like Raleigh, Austin, and so on perhaps without realizing that they somehow fully expect these new areas to share the same type of attributes as where they moved from. When they come to the realization that they are not like the coasts they get disappointed. Then they're in this limbo where they then try to find a way to replicate what they think they're missing. I see this a lot on these forums: People who first moved to Florida then they move to NC and then after that they're still not happy.
Honestly I too want to move away from where I live now mainly because its too expensive and we would likely have a much higher quality of life doing so with what we've saved over the years. But for me it would be like moving back home versus moving to a totally alien land with people and customs I'm unfamiliar with. I do not expect wherever we move to have instant entertainment and means to keep us pacified 24/7. It will be what it is and that's all anyone could ask for.
I don't regret it all. My experience has been the exact opposite of Eloyfan on almost every point. OK, so maybe I didn't know it would get THIS cold (still 2 weeks until winter mind you).
I have lived for extended periods in Melbourne, Little Rock, St Louis, Long Island and now here (and visited 49 of 50 states btw). All of them have their pros and cons. But the thing that really stands out about this area is how friendly the people are and how much stuff there is to do (if you know where to look).
I can understand the frustrations...but I have NO regrets. My plan is to move back {Long Island} the sooner the better. For me it's trade-offs, not necessarily regrets...life happens...I reached my 4-year mark last month and there are certain trade-off's I am not willing to put up with much longer. The biggest one family/friends and culture. I miss my family/friends and Italian/Irish culture back in Long Island. To me, I'm not willing to have a lower property tax for no friends and family, you can't put a price on family/friends/culture/roots....sorry....I have seen the costs rise in just the 4 years I'm here, so outside of property tax, everything else evens out...ex.what we pay in an MTA Tax in NY, we pay in a car tax here, tit for tat, it all evens out in the long run...food, clothing, it's all the same....family/roots to me are priceless...okay, now I sound like a mastercard commercial lol....
I posted the below a few months ago in another thread...believe it was Do you miss New England, something like that....
I will be here 4 years come November and seriously considering moving back to Long Island. Main reasons are family, I lost my dad a year ago this month{September} and my mom is up on Long Island as well as other family. I also miss my circle of friends back home. I never developed the same type of friendships here as I did there. We will see what the Spring brings, I will have the opportunity to take my job with me, so employment is not a factor. I feel I have given it enough time here, like any place, there are positives and negatives, but you can't put a price on family/friends, so we shall see. Frankly roots are roots, you just can't take away your roots, and my roots are up north. In my 4 years here I have owned a home, lived in Brier Creek, Knightdale and Chapel Hill, so I have experienced the different parts of the Triangle, Chapel Hill being my favorite. I would never bad mouth this area as I have enjoyed living here. Again, any place you live, there will be positives and negatives. Good Luck to the OP, give it some time, don't throw in the towel just yet.Happy Holidays to all...
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