After all this---what happens if I don't get the job? (Raleigh: how much, house) - Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary - North Carolina (NC) -The Triangle Area - City-Data Forum

findingmesomeday · 07-13-2007, 01:10 PM

It's a darned if you do, darned if you don't situation. First I was stressing over a job offer I was fairly sure I was going to get and the guilt over moving my kids from this town, particularly my oldest, a rising junior. I was worried about timing, not wanting to pull him out after school started and was researching like crazy places where we think we'd best like to live (both in person, when I was down there for my interviews) and from afar.

So now, 4 weeks post interview in Raleigh-Durham, 2 weeks post interviews with key people in two other cities (same company, same job in NC), countless phone interviews, etc., and............no word yet. Nothing. Nada. I went from thinking I was the number one or two pick to thinking that there's probably someone else entertaining the offer now and they're keeping me and possibly one other person "on ice" until person #1 accepts/ rejects offer.

My head is spinning. How did I go from "I don't know if I can do this to my kids?" to "I really wanted this job and I really want to leave my situation here in MA" so fast?

I'm going to quit looking around this forum so much. It's just depressing. If I do get the job offer and it's a decent one, I'll probably swing right back the other way.

Someone send me a straitjacket.

saturnfan · 07-13-2007, 01:38 PM

That's how I felt in 1989 when trying to relocate from New Orleans.

Several cities looked great, but the only job that worked out was Raleigh.

Just go with the flow.

ferrickhead28 · 07-13-2007, 01:42 PM

Don't give up hope! There are soooooooo many job opportunities down here. Instead of waiting, keep applying! Maybe that job might not work out, but there might be an even better one right around the corner.

newmom5497 · 07-13-2007, 05:14 PM

Boy can I relate to your pain. I went through that exact same rollercoaster for the past 2 weeks.(and still am, although I am 1 step further as I did accept a job offer today). But even with that and how much I WANTED IT, couldnt sleep, got SO nervous because the offer wasnt made the day after my interview etc. etc. etc...and then the minute I accepted it I was thinking "Good Lord. What am am I doing??". Its just a very stressful time when you are picking up your entire family and moving somewhere virtually unknown, knowing nobody and most importantly, having no family there. Both my husband and I were born and raised in this small town in southern NJ, our ENTIRE family is here, our 10-year old knows no place else but here as "home"......and in 1 month, we'll be living an entirely different life.

But we just keep reminding ourselves that WE CHOOSE THIS. Nobody is putting a gun to our heads to move. We have a nice life here, husband has established a profitable construction business the past 15 years(although it took a big downslide this year...hence one of the reasons for our move...but overall it has been VERY good to us), daughter is in a nice school(elementary...although after next year that will change. Our middle school stinks), and every weekend we are with our families/daughter is with her grandparents/cousins etc. But one of the biggest reasons we choose to move is for the adventure.(it could be the stupidest thing we ever did...but we'd always "wonder") Neither of us have lived anywhere else and we are tired of being "locals" and paying such a high price to live in NJ.

SO I am definitly a passenger on your roller coaster. Only you know the right thing for your family...nobody else can tell you. Deep down, if its something you really want to do....you just have to close your eyes and jump......

GOOD LUCK!

MrsSteel · 07-13-2007, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newmom5497

SO I am definitly a passenger on your roller coaster.

LOVED this turn of phrase, NewMom!

Whenever I feel frightened or nervous about doing something, my husband says, "What would you do if you weren't scared?" Something about those words really centers me and helps me discover what I really want from my life.

ME43 · 07-13-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsSteel

LOVED this turn of phrase, NewMom!

Whenever I feel frightened or nervous about doing something, my husband says, "What would you do if you weren't scared?" Something about those words really centers me and helps me discover what I really want from my life.

Boy, asking yourself that question really helps to cut through the "clutter" in your mind when making a big decision!!!

ferrickhead28 · 07-13-2007, 08:52 PM

I think that quote is from the book "Who moved my cheese?"

Might be a good read right now!

MrsSteel · 07-13-2007, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ferrickhead28

I think that quote is from the book "Who moved my cheese?"

Might be a good read right now!

That's funny because my husband has never read that book!

But no matter where it came from, it's good advice.

jeannie216 · 07-13-2007, 09:11 PM

I think it is very easy to become overwelmed with everything and to lose your focus. I'm only in the beginning stages of relocating, and I'm sure things are going to get much more difficult.. Again, though, what is important is knowing what you want from the beginning, making the decision, and go on with it without letting the obstacles cause you to second guess yourself. If you allow this to happen, then you lose your focus, and then I think one eventually begins to reevaluate... is this really what I want? Are we really making the right decision? These questions needs to be established early on, and even though you'll hit many bumps along the way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and a goal to be reached. We are moving to NC. The kids will initially object, the house may not sell, my husband may not get that job, I may be waiting tables until the right job comes along, etc, etc. but when everything is all said and done, we will finally reach our goal...

VickiR · 07-13-2007, 09:16 PM

With all the relocating families that I have helped find a house, I have realized this...If a family is moving because they have NO CHOICE, for example, a job transfer, it seems that the family does what they have to do.

For those that CHOOSE to relocate, it seems a bit more stressful.

So I say this...once you have made your decision to move, do not second guess yourself. The decision has been made. Now do what needs to be done, look forward, not back and keep moving on!

Vicki