Thought I'd respond because I'd at least like to think of myself as being in the demographic discussed (i'm definitely single and in my early 40s; whether I am "quality" is in the eye of the beholder i suppose, but i have a graduate degree, the feint outlines of a six-pack, good credit, and volunteer at a non-profit a few times a month so maybe I'm at least in the ballpark
So here's where I am on a regular basis:
- work (but that doesn't help because i run my own small business)
- the grocery store (but i've never been able to flirt there despite reports that its good spot to meet people)
- the gym (i have gone out with girls/women i've met there - pretty good spot)
- online dating sites (best place to meet people you share interests with that you would never meet otherwise; made good friends but nothing serious yet)
- live music around the triangle (indoor & outdoor - not really conducive to meeting people though)
- first friday art walks / ncma events
- home depot/lowes (which leads to the other place I spend a lot of time - my house and yard)
- nc state football & basketball games
I do lots of other activities, but they are often intermittent or not social in nature. I don't go to bars anymore other than to see live music (i'm a fan of bluegrass/alt-country/americana).
imho (and I'm open to other suggestions), the best strategy is three-fold:
(1) follow your passions and interests. this is key for two reasons. the first is obvious, you'll meet people with similar interests that may lead to who knows what. second is that you'll continue to grow as a person, develop individually, and that will make you more attractive in the long run.
(2) make yourself be social, be nice and open to meeting new people wherever you are in any circumstance. i find it's easy to get caught up doing my own things now - i have to prioritize getting out and meeting people. it's not always what i want to do at the end of the day when i have so many other goals and demands on my time.
(3) use online dating, but keep your expectations low/realistic. my approach it to treat it as a great way to make new friends, and if something more grows out of that then it's icing on the cake. time demands on 30/40 year olds make this an important component of maintaining a social life.
I'm not a fan of organized religion personally, but i do think church organizations, committees, groups would be a great way to meet people and get connected with a community if that's your cup of tea.
hope this helps & good luck out there.