Advice sought on Memory Care Facilities in Raleigh/Cary area (Durham: daycare, home)

[GotHereQuickAsICould]

Searching for long-term care facility for a relative with dementia. Must be a secure facility, in the $4,500 - $5,500 range with competent staff and interactive activities.

We have toured a number of Memory Care Facilities in the area and while they seem like nice enough places, for the most part it appears that the residents are just sitting, staring off into space while the staff is huddled around the nursing station or holed up in the kitchen or who know where. (Toured one facility where the residents were all sitting in the dining room, waiting for lunch for over a half our. During that entire time, not a single staff person was in sight.)

I go during scheduled activities only to find that either the activity is not being held (usually because the activities coordinator is gone and no one replaces her) or the activity involves little more than staring at a TV of other people exercising and so forth.

She is currently attending a day program where the staff is continually engaged with the participants, joking and laughing, and carrying on. They do arts and crafts projects, play games, sit in the garden...

Is there a Memory Care Facility in the area that has anything like this going on?

[jeffs555]

Don't really know about facilities in the Raleigh area, but most of the places I looked in other areas gave me the same impression. Most seemed to have the residents just sitting/standing around with a blank stare either drugged up or just vegged out. Hard to put a loved one in a place like that. Fortunately mine is not quite at the point of needing a secure total care facility yet, but I know the time is coming.

You might check with the Alzheimer's association. They have lots of resources and support groups that meet at various places around the triangle and discuss such things. Alzheimers North Carolina Inc. Supporting North Carolina Families Dealing with Alzheimers Disease

There is also a Triangle Caregivers conference in Durham next Tuesday(just missed the one in Raleigh). They will have lots of representatives from facilities around here and lots of speakers on various subjects about dealing with loved ones with dementia. Home - 2012 Triangle Caregivers Conference

[librarySue]

This is why I'll be keeping my dad in his home for as long as possible. If you have good daycare, consider the cost of having in home care for the rest of the time. You may find it is competitive with a full time facility.

But also please remember, sometimes with ALZ it doesn't matter what the entertainment is, they are still going to sit with a blank stare. :-(

Thanks for the info about the conference. Wish I could go. maybe next year.

[GotHereQuickAsICould]

Originally Posted by librarySue

This is why I'll be keeping my dad in his home for as long as possible. If you have good daycare, consider the cost of having in home care for the rest of the time. You may find it is competitive with a full time facility.

She hasn't lived in her own home in years. She's lived with one or the other of her children. She needs constant supervision as well as assistance with all her ADLs. Hiring round the clock in-home care would be nice but would cost upwards of 8 grand a month and neither she nor they can afford that.

Surely, there is an affordable, secure memory care facility in the area where the residents are engaged in activities and conversation.

Thanks a million for the tip about the Caregivers' conference. Will pass on the info.

[jeffs555]

You should also consider going to one of the support groups. You will meet people who have had their loved ones in various facilities and know which ones are good and which ones to avoid. Groups are held all over the triangle at various times so you are sure to find one that is convenient to attend. The group leaders are very knowledgeable and helpful.
Find a Support Group

[kboate]

You stated you are looking for long-term care however, I think you may want Assisted Living with a Secure Memory Care Community. There is a difference between long-term care (nursing home) and assisted living memory care community. A nursing home is for those who are medically unstable. If your relative can go to an Adult Care Day Program then they would most likely be appropriate for an Assisted Living Memory Care Community. There are many good ones in the area. You can find a listing under the North Carolina Assisted Living Association website www.ncala.org. I would suggest you tour each community without making an appointment. You want to visit when they don't know you are coming. If the residents in the memory care are watching TV then this is not a good indicator of an appropriate memory care program. Most memory care residents are unable to follow the plot of a TV program. I would suggest having a meeting with the Memory Care Activity Director who can answer you questions and concerns. Ask about their training and what programs they provide. Ask if they provide programs seven days a week and in the evenings. Ask if they have a Volunteer Program. To learn more about Memory Care Programs contact Alzheimer's North Carolina Inc. 919.832.3732 www.alznc.org . They can answer and recommend some communities.

[Caddyshack]

Check out Clare Bridge of Cary. There are 2 facilities, one off of Cary Parkway, the other is near Maynard and Hwy 54. I toured both, and ended putting my Dad in the one on 54 because they had more memory care beds.

I was extremely happy with the care he received there, they had lots of activities to keep the residents engaged. If I had it to do over again I would make the same decision knowing what I know now.

This was a couple years ago and I think the cost was within your range at the top end at that time. I don't know what it is now.