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I'll second the Meetup.com recommendation. You can find a meetup to match almost any interest you have.
I know that some areas in the US can be more closed/reserved with newcomers but here in the Triangle area of NC I think you'll find it is very open & welcoming. 90% of the people you are going to meet are most likely transplants (at least that has been my experience) so we've all been the newbie at one time.
I personally found most people (neighbors, work, church, complete strangers at the mall, etc) are very friendly & happy to talk to you help you out.
Be a little willing to put yourself out there. Ask your neighbors best grocery store in the area. Ask a co-worker where they go to get their hair/nails done, etc. People will be happy to chat you up about their favorite places & it gets the conversation started. From there getting to know folks should be easy if you are a little bit social.
This area is full of transplants from all over - not just all over the country but all over the world! So most people are as hopeful as you about making friends, especially because a lot of people don't have family around - their friends ARE their family.
If you're going to stress, stress about something that's real like where your kids might go to school or whether you want granite or solid surface counters. I'm an American living in Cary and I have friends from all over the world, including Eastern Europe, and they love living in the Triangle. I don't think anyone around here cares about your nationality or the nationality of your husband as long as you're good neighbors.
I think the most important thing about making friends with Americans is that you be friendly. If you're truly social and can strike up conversations easily, do so! Don't be afraid to ask people to do things with you - meet with the kids at the pool or schedule playdates. Find out if there's a playgroup in your neighborhood. Ask people over for a family friendly cookout. Join a book club. Take the kids to the local library. You may be rejected by some, but I'm going to guess that it has more to do with the person/people you approach than with anything you say or do.
Pot meet kettle maybe? It sounds like you are pre-judging Cary/American women. Your husband is right. You are stressing over nothing.
Kind of unfair...she said she was working form past experiences with American women. Changes are hard, especially when you feel like you are very different from others around you and people don' understand you. Give the girl a break.
Hi , I am a French native and though i became a US citizen last year , i felt 100 percent French in my heart and proud of my culture and food . I agree it is hard to make friends but acquaintances , you will make plenty if you try the numerous Meetups .
Most people are friendly in America . I have never experience yet that people look down on me but who knows what they say behind my back ?
Beware of the brutal and very unpleasant summer heat if you move to this area of NC . But the NC mountains are most pleasurable and will remind you Europe .
Good luck to you .
Kind of unfair...she said she was working form past experiences with American women. Changes are hard, especially when you feel like you are very different from others around you and people don' understand you. Give the girl a break.
All I'm saying is if you don't want to be judged by others then don't judge others yourself. That will go a long way toward fitting in. That's pretty solid advice.
There are many organizations in the Raleigh/Cary area which celebrate
individual ethnic heritage. That might be a way to meet others with
similar interests (at least favorite family recipes! LOL)
Welcome to the area. It is not as diverse as NYC but a wonderful
place to call home, I think.
My SO is Polish/Romanian, from the North, we know people from the Baltics, etc, and one of the nice things about Raleigh is the large population of higher-educated and more internationally traveled people, which imo makes for more tolerance of other cultures and such. Yes, there are small-minded folks who are very insular, but as a place to live, I think the people in the Triangle are as a whole very accepting and friendly.
There's plenty of friendly folks and probably more people here that are similar to you than you might realize, so I wouldn't stress too much.
My husband wants to transfer within the company and relocate to Cary or the close surrounding areas. He doesn't have to, but wants to. We went to Cary couple of weeks ago, and I liked the area, and I know I will especially like the warmer and shorter winters. But I am worried I won't fit in because I am Eastern European married to an American. From personal past experiences, I've had a hard time befriending american women. They seemed colder and more judgemental, and seem to look down on foreign women married to american men. I am afraid I won't be able to make any friends, and will regret moving and leaving my present circle of friends. Plus, if I can't make any friends, my kids may not be able to also. My husband thinks I am stressing over nothing, and since I am a social person I will easily make friends. I disagree. Are there areas of Cary that are more ethnicly diverse? Have you moved there and later regret it? Thanks in advance.
If you come here with this attitude you will be miserable. We have lived in 10 different states and never had a problem adjusting. But we started with the attitude that we were going to love our new home and neighbors. Having kids will make it even easier to adjust. Get involved in a church, PTSA, etc. We will accept you and your family with open arms.
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