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mrs.steel you are absolutely right about having options.Before we came here I told my wife if we didnt like it we could always go back.I will give it some time though i have to be fair for the wife and kids.
Calvacca, I'm still here on LI waiting to make the move myself. My family and I are so tired (literally) of the cost of living here and for what. Sure we will miss the food,people,family,and friends. But in the end i'm hoping that our lives will be better off.
mrs.steel you are absolutely right about having options.Before we came here I told my wife if we didnt like it we could always go back.I will give it some time though i have to be fair for the wife and kids.
I feel for you..Going through a similar process. My husband is back in Florida trying to sell our house too. I have been here 2 months, but it seems longer. Miss my family and the familiar things..routine is important to our lives. We rely on the things we do every day, the places we frequent and here , I still feel like a stranger. I even shared with my family my fear that if I were to die here now, no one would come to my funeral! crazy thoughts like that . But I remember when I moved to Florida 16 years ago from Brooklyn , NY, where I grew up, and it was actually harder then. It does get better and I learned to like my life in Florida, but I could not stand the heat anymore. Hang in there, give it a chance, 5 months is too soon..Give it at least one year and see how you feel then. Take care.
Im from long island,born in brooklyn.MY whole family is originally from brooklyn now on the island.I moved with my wife and kids because of the weather,housing,quality of life etc.Although i think the area has alot of nice things especially for kids I feel like I will never be comfortable here .It's very different the people,food,sprawl.
But...isn't that the reason you moved here - because it's different? You can't move from NY to NC and expect it to be just like home. After all, that's why you moved here.
Im not trying to be personal just trying to come up with ideas but have you guys taken any mini vacations of the area? Maybe a trip to mountains? Piedmont, Charlotte, Myrtle Beach or our Coast?
Also maybe join some activities in the area like a local church so you can network with other people? This way hopefully you will get to know more people and become more involve with local community to take your mind off thw way it was.
But...isn't that the reason you moved here - because it's different? You can't move from NY to NC and expect it to be just like home. After all, that's why you moved here.
Just because you don't expect a new place to be like home doesn't mean you don't mourn what you left behind. I think the OP was looking to talk about some of this so maybe it will help w/ the adjustment process. Your head can tell you that you moved to be somewhere different and your heart aches for that familar smell of your old home town in the Fall or your favorite person at the local bakery who knew your order by heart.
you got it pdx mom.Of course there were things we liked here otherwise we wouldnt have moved and yes networking does help the process but it still doesnt erase feelings of being comfortable,routines and the baker that knows your order.believe me I complained about traffic,congestion,high cost of living in ny.I wont miss that at all.What I do miss is convenience,energy vibe,cultural ties(I'm an italian/newyorker).Sometimes the grass is greener sometimes its not.I think its an individual thing.Some people adjust right away some it takes time others never adjust.
Just because you don't expect a new place to be like home doesn't mean you don't mourn what you left behind. I think the OP was looking to talk about some of this so maybe it will help w/ the adjustment process. Your head can tell you that you moved to be somewhere different and your heart aches for that familar smell of your old home town in the Fall or your favorite person at the local bakery who knew your order by heart.
So on point. This move has been hardest move I've ever made. I've been here 9 months and I do miss the friends I left behind. They were like my family. It's difficult when you move to a new place with no friends or family and you don't feel like you fit in b/c it's so different from what you know. You have your good days and then you have your bad days when you get really depressed. I guess you have to look for that something that makes the transition a bit easier.
I wasn't trying to be insensitive - I've been there myself. I moved here from Texas six years ago, although it was to marry my husband, who has lived here most of his life.
When I moved, I left behind friends I had known my entire life, and the only place I had ever called home. I was 39 at the time. Yes, there were things I missed, though it's not as difficult as it once was. However, I was mindful to remember that I could not expect things to be the way they were in Texas, and I was careful never to compare the two cities. I found that it was easier to fend off homesickness by concentrating on what I love about this area, instead of focusing on what I miss. As another member says, "bloom where you're planted."
Have you checked out meetups.com? There are groups for so many different interests, there's bound to be one that's a fit for you.
you got it pdx mom.Of course there were things we liked here otherwise we wouldnt have moved and yes networking does help the process but it still doesnt erase feelings of being comfortable,routines and the baker that knows your order.believe me I complained about traffic,congestion,high cost of living in ny.I wont miss that at all.What I do miss is convenience,energy vibe,cultural ties(I'm an italian/newyorker).Sometimes the grass is greener sometimes its not.I think its an individual thing.Some people adjust right away some it takes time others never adjust.
Having just moved here in June from Long Island I can completely relate.
The social aspect has been the hardest for us having left behind some of the very best friends we'll ever have. However we're slowly rebuilding that aspect of our lives. As is often the case, our children are forging the path for us. First my oldest started rebuilding his network, then my youngest. Because of them my wife started becoming involved (think PTA) and making some friends that she really likes. Curiously I'm the last of the gang to venture out and find friends of my own down here. However I'm doing Y-Guides with one of my sons and so I finally had the chance to meet some fathers and I liked the group.
But it's also the whole "Norm (Cheers)" phenomenon. We all like to go places where we're known, where we know the rules of engagement and feel comfortable. That comes with time. For example, my wife and son love Subway sandwiches. Back on Long Island I went to the same store at least once a week and as soon as I walked through the door they started making my order because it was almost always the same. Just recently we resumed that weekly tradition and when I entered the store the girl behind the counter asked me if I wanted the usual. In a small, silly little way it made me feel just a bit more like I was home.
Ultimately I think it just comes down to a combination of patience and perspective. We don't remember having had to build or rebuild our lives before because we were at least in a geographically familiar place and now we're not. However we've all made new friends and started new jobs before in our lives and the only thing that's different is we're 600 miles further south. When I feel displaced I think about all the stresses I'm free from now and try not to take that aspect for granted.
Good luck working through it.
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Your really not missing anything.
