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I also have a mother in her 80's. It is difficult to find an affordable place where the senior person gets some help.
In the Triangle, it might be possible to create a group situation where some able-bodied person with a large house rents rooms to older women and provides 2 meals and some cleaning help. A relative in California did that and she made money because the state provided money to some of the women. I'm not sure if NC has any similar program.
Last edited by goldenage1; 02-15-2013 at 11:05 AM..
They have a location serving Durham and Chapel Hill. They provide non-medical in-home help. I'm not sure how much it costs, but it might be worth investigating.
This is an income-restricted place, which may or may not work - not sure what the requirements are. Also, this seems like it is for people who are more independent and can do their cooking. The prior place you linked to Jordan Oaks (thank you!) included all utilities, 3 meals a day, shuttle service, and activities. The $2850 price tag was their average cost, but they have several different sized apartments and in various locations - Durham, Wake Forest, Cary, and Raleigh, as well as Burlington. So it may be worth looking into more to get the details. There is no initial buy-in, which is good.
You can also check out Meadows at Brier Creek. It's an independent apartment complex for the 55+ age group. My mom is there and loves it. A one-bedroom runs $670.00 per month. My mom is aging and on a fixed income {pension & SS} so this place meets all her needs right now. The community is active, elevators, pool, community room, computer room, planned events, shopping trips, a bus to certain stores {Lowe's Food, Target, Walmart, Food Lion} weekly, etc...
I'm happy she decided to move here last year, having her 5-10 minutes away gives me peace of mind.
I do think about the future as she ages and if I will need to have her come live with me, but for now this works.
I'm single as well and I'm the one that looks after things, especially more now that dad passed a few years ago. My siblings are totally hands off, they don't live in NC, but still...that's another thread...lol
Check out the Meadows at Brier Creek...it may fit your needs...
You might check into Arbor Walk (formerly Alta Walk) in Durham. I know the activities director there. She used to be at Carolina Meadows where my mom is and is great.
There are also some senior apartments in Carrboro, but I don't know anything about them. They're on 54 where all those other complexes. They're at Poplar and 54 and are called Carolina Spring. I think they used to cater to students and switched over to seniors. I think they're just independent living.
Croasdaile in Durham might be an option also. They operate on a fee for service model and have sort of 3.5 levels of care and do allow the senior to enter at any level they need unlike many CCRCs that require you to go in as independent. They have independent, independent with services, assisted, and a nursing home.
There's a senior independent living place in Mebane that might work too. I think it's also Arbor something. A friend's mom is there and she loves it.
There are also some senior apartments in Carrboro, but I don't know anything about them. They're on 54 where all those other complexes. They're at Poplar and 54 and are called Carolina Spring. I think they used to cater to students and switched over to seniors. I think they're just independent living.
Carolina Spring looks decent for healthy people. It's on a bus line to shopping and the post office. They say the rents are $571 - 834/month.
What about buying a condo in Chapel Hill? I know it sounds crazy, but you can get a 1 br condo under the affordable living plan in chapel hill for around $95,000. That would be around $650 a month mortgage with no money down. Check out zip 27517. The rules are that they can't have owned a home in 3 years or less and they have to live there.
Also, around meadowmont there are many businesses that cater to all the seniors in the area. You don't have to live in a retirement home to get assisted living, meals provided, etc. They have people who will check on you in your own home. Just another thought.
Good for you for thinking ahead. There are senior apartments with income restrictions that might work well for them. Worth checking out. I think a new one was finished not long ago in Hillsborough not far from their senior center.
As to transportation, you may want to look into Cary Transit services for seniors. My Mom attended a day program and several of the participants were brought by Cary Transit car or small bus. Seniors & Disabled
Cary also has a wonderful senior center with a lot of programs for all ages throughout the community.
If you decide it is time to move them in with you, pooling your resources may allow you to rent a 3 - 4 bedroom house or townhome.
My Mom lived with us for several years and I was surprised at how many mothers in this area are living with daughters. Ran into them all the time. Most talked about it being a blessing and glad they did it before their parents got to the point of needing a lot of help.
The choices become more limited once they need assistance. COPE can be helpful in exploring options. It is not free, however so be sure and ask what you will be charged when you make the appt.
One thing I had not thought of when we first started helping my parents out was how many years of this we had ahead of us. I thought we we'd help them out for five years or so. I had never imagined that we would be helping them out for decades. Thanks to modern medicine, people are living well into their 90's. So prepare yourself for the long haul.
The biggest problem is often dealing with siblings. I can't tell you how many families I know that have been torn apart over disagreements and resentments around caring for aging parents.
There is an annual caregiver conference and a caregiver support center (Guiding Lights, I think) in the area. Both are worth checking out.
Just so you know, aging parents often insist they are doing just fine, but when you take the time to check things out you notice that their bills are not being paid, or they're sending money to sweepstakes places, or the medications are all mixed up.
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