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I thought it might be helpful to start a discussion for those of us who have aging parents in the area. As I look forward to planning what will happen over the upcoming years, I know that I have to consider what I can do for my aging parents. If there are others in this area in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you're dealing with them and how things have worked out for all of you.
A little background ...
I'm single, for now, and I don't have any children. I have four other siblings, one of them lives with me.
My parents live in an apartment in Charlotte. Their Social Security and Pensions are just enought to cover their medical care, buy food & gas, and pay their rent & utilities, but there's very little left over for much else. I know it drives them nuts that they don't really have much else to do but sit around all day. I know they'd love to get out once in a while and go somewhere for coffee and a pastry, maybe a sandwhich for lunch, but they really don't have that kind of disposable income anymore. I visited them a week ago, and Dad was telling me that they might be looking to downsize from their current apartment (2BR/2BA) @ $750 a month to maybe a 1BR/1BA if it would be less than $600 a month. Also, Mom told me that she decided not to renew her drivers license, meaning Dad is now the sole driver, and he can't really drive too much at night.
So, it looks like it'll eventually be up to me to somehow help them out. The first step will probably be to move them here so we're all in the same general area. I'm pretty much tapped out for what I can afford to pay for rent & utilities right now, so I don't really foresee the option of moving up to a larger apartment (3BR/3BA. 4BR/4BA. Are there even such things out there?).
K, so not really what you are asking about, but is there a senior center near them? You can usually attend those either for free or for a super low daily cost (like $5 or so to cover lunch) and they do all kinds of fun things... field trips, arts and crafts, dances, cards/bingo, etc. They def. have them here and I have no doubt they have them in Charlotte, too.
Some friends of mine just wrote an eldercare bookazine that has pretty much everything you need to know about caring for aging parents. She's a nurse practitioner who spent a couple of years caring for his dad at home, until he passed away last year. They just got their comps, so it should be on the stands soon - everywhere from Wal-Mart to Barnes & Noble.
There are so many free things to do that it should be easy to find things to get them out of the house
*senior group at church
*many museums here are free
*many colleges will let seniors audit classes for free - maybe ncstate/uncle/local cc offer this?
*libraries-internet access/book clubs etc
*Volunteer!! Just about anywhere
Certainly saving $ on rent is a good first step....but it seems like the problem of them not getting out is solved pretty easily. And having them closer to you would certainly help.
Well, see, that has me wondering if this is normal or typical. I'm seeing, as they are getting older, that they are getting progressively anti-social and withdrawn. I know that Dad would like to be outside doing stuff, going to games, etc., and unfortunately he can't really do much of that. Anyway, I'll keep an open mind on your suggestions. I'll have to see what they think.
Has anyone had experience with senior transportation services in the area?
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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Interesting question. I was actually pondering this thought a few months ago. My MIL lives in Greensboro. She is 84 and lives alone in a townhouse that she has a mortgage on.
Financially, she is OKAY right now, but I recently looked over her finances and realized that she has no plans for a next step if and when she can no longer care for herself. She does have long-term care insurance but that is only used if she totally can't take care of herself and meets certain criteria. I am thinking of the step before that - where she isn't able to drive anymore or perhaps not cook all of her meals. She would need to move to a senior center of some sort. But they are all so expensive! And her finances won't cover many of the places. I was looking in Greensboro, but I suppose it might work to move her to the Triangle if it comes to that.
I'm glad you brought it up, because I sort of looked into it and then dropped it. But really the time for plan for the next step is BEFORE you need it not when you are desparate. Are there senior citizen buildings in the Triangle that are reasonably priced? The kind where you have your own apt. but they provide one or two meals a day and have a shuttle that takes you grocery shopping? Many places you have to buy into upfront and then pay monthly. I'm wondering if there are any monthly-only type places that there is no buy-in?
I feel the same about my mother. She's in her early 60's so not ready for the assisted living situation yet, but I worry about her because she is alone and has various health problems. She will move closer to me in 5 years, and a retirement community is far too expensive.
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