considering moving back to Denver from Raleigh (Charlotte, Durham: apartments, amusement park)

[MisstheSea]

Honestly, this sounds more like you are looking for a certain lifestyle rather than a certain location. I know what you mean about the relatively unique "vibe" in the Denver area. You can attain something similar here, but for good or bad these are two very different areas of the country and they will never be "equal" . You either have to learn to appreciate the uniqueness of what THIS area offers at the same level as you appreciate the Denver area, or you should just move back to CO rather than trying to turn Raleigh into CO. It isn't going to happen, and comparing specifics side by side will just make you dissatisfied no matter where you are.

[RVAtoCNC]

Originally Posted by michgc

While I agree with you to a point, there were a whole lot of other things we didn't have as kids that are available nowadays - IPods, computers, cell phones, year-round soccer, foreign language immersion programs, cheap flights, etc. Times change.

Children are more sophisticated and grow up earlier. Sports and academics are more competitive, and children expect more for entertainment. They learn to read in kindergarten. There are dozens of AP offerings in high schools. Kids watch movies in their hand and call friends "face to face" across the country. They play in travel sports leagues and have backyard playsets rivaling those in playgrounds. They take language classes and go to science camps.

I'm not saying that today's kids are better off than those from simpler times. Or that they shouldn't still be unscheduled kids who play baseball in the back yard, ride bikes on their street, fish in the creek and swim in the lake, and just hang out, but how kids spend their free time has changed.

I agreed - our daughter grew up in the 90's, 2000s. My point was that kids can be happy anywhere - there is not a necessity to have the best amusement parks, the best forests, the best beaches, the bests mountains, museums, etc. Kids will amuse themselves in a tiny hamlet or large city. Schools/education - yes, that's important, but school options are greater today than they have ever been. If public schools aren't up to the task, there are private schools, home schooling, specialized schools, etc. etc.

[MisplacedWesterner]

I moved here from the west nearly 30 years ago and it has never felt like home. I wish I could go back in time and raise my kids in California, where I grew up, or Colorado, where my partner is from, but that opportunity has passed. There is a culture of activity in the west. Colorado typically ranks at or near the top of fittest states and you see evidence of it anytime you drive through the cities and neighborhoods. It is not uncommon at all to drive through neighborhood after neighborhood by me in Durham and see not one kid playing in the front yard.

Once your kids grow and become established, your conflicts with returning west will grow. I'm grateful to live in a state with a coast and this close to DC and NYC but, when the planets align properly and I can make it happen, I'll be moving back west and I would urge you and your family to do the same - you don't want to live with the regret I deal with every day.

[Tomitillo26]

I think your really just homesick. Believe me this is one of the hangups I have while we are contemplating a move down here. Its all about what you want, what you are going to miss, and what you are willing to accept when moving to a new area. If work opportunities brought you here, then you did whats right for your family. But if you are truly unhappy and a place isn't for you, then by all means explore your options about going back. There is absolutely no shame in doing that.

[isabella8]

As a former Coloradan, I too think about moving back and I am not happy unless I get back for at least a week every summer. I love the incredible blue skies, the way it cools down at night, the variety you get with a bigger city, and the horizon
Then I remember the 3-4 hour traffic jams on Sundays on I70 and 285 in the summer as well as the winter, being indentured to the sprinkler guy and the water department, and the cost of housing. So here's my list of pros and cons

Pros Colorado
Sun
Lack of humidity
No ticks
It can be hot but it is so much better than August in NC
People are more open
The WEST
Big sky
Light rail
Winter sports
In town coyotes chase away the deer

Cons Colorado
Cold and not just in the winter
Sun--if you're fair even if you wear sunscreen hats, long sleeves, your skin will fry
Expensive with relatively low wages
Traffic
Little access to water sports. No ocean!
People are not as polite as NC
In town coyotes may eat your pond koi, or your dog
Spring lasts from one week to maybe one month
Harsh climate for gardeners

You can find good schools in both , Cherry Creek, Littleton, Boulder in Co, Chapel Hill in NC (I don't know as much about other Triangle districts) and you can certainly find neighborhoods/towns with active lifestyles in both.
Good luck!

[PausingNomad]

It's been a while since this thread was updated, but I'm curious to know if you've come closer to a decision. Our experience resonates a bit with yours; we have lived in PHX for a while and appreciate the large metro area, low humidity, light traffic, ample outdoor activities, etc. but we are considering a move to DEN or RDU. We have young children as well and despite the occasional poster admonishing it as a need to constantly entertain them, we agree with your desire to spend time with your kids doing a variety of activities. As summer approaches in phoenix, we are concerned about the heat and scorching sun preventing activities with very young kids who can't regulate temp very well. We have wondered if the humidity and bugs of nc would present similar summer problems... Have you made any progress in your decision?

[Andyrv]

Originally Posted by PausingNomad

It's been a while since this thread was updated, but I'm curious to know if you've come closer to a decision. Our experience resonates a bit with yours; we have lived in PHX for a while and appreciate the large metro area, low humidity, light traffic, ample outdoor activities, etc. but we are considering a move to DEN or RDU. We have young children as well and despite the occasional poster admonishing it as a need to constantly entertain them, we agree with your desire to spend time with your kids doing a variety of activities. As summer approaches in phoenix, we are concerned about the heat and scorching sun preventing activities with very young kids who can't regulate temp very well. We have wondered if the humidity and bugs of nc would present similar summer problems... Have you made any progress in your decision?

Summers in NC are typical southern scorching heat with humidity and yes bugs are part of it though not quite as humid as Florida. I've spent time in Phoenix and lived in El Paso, Tx over 30yrs ago where it gets pretty hot but the heat is more dry there than here in the humid southeast like NC. If that is the major concern for you then Denver may be the best bet for you. Certainly you can do outdoor activities in the Triangle or anywhere else in NC but it is a matter of tolerance which appears to be a major concern for you.

[jmcstef]

I've been and lived all over, and when I first move to a truly new place there is the euphoric feeling of discovery, which tends to fade out as I discover the reality of the area. Over the years and decades I've realized I'm more tolerant than many when it comes to taking reality and investing time to truly understand it. I have a lot of friends that suffer from grass is always greener syndrome, and they will never be happy in one location. No matter where they are, they will always see a "best of" list that tempts them into a new location.

So, in order to find happiness they follow the four step program:

(1) identify for the disadvantages of where they currently are
(2) scope out another place without those disadvantages and that has seemingly new advantages
(3) move to new place with a dream in hand
(4) rinse and repeat...

They never seem to learn that every aspect of happiness not only comes from within, but is our own responsibility to cultivate within ourselves. Roaches, Humidity, Dry Air, Too Cold, Too Hot, Scorpions, Rattlesnakes, Coyotes, Gamblers, Druggies, Hippies, Gays, Shriners, Gold-Toothed Hip-hop artists, icicles threating to fall from gutters to pierce the skull, whatever... if you look long and hard enough you can find some reason to move from one place to another.

But in my experience, those folks will ALWAYS be looking to move every few years, it's more of an innate desire to keep variety in their lives than they realize. They have not yet learned to look internally for solutions to their ongoing boredom. Until they do they will be unable to outrun it.

[PausingNomad]

Agree with you about the common temptation to seek utopia through relocation. I've found myself in that boat in the past, and the nice thing for me is that it taught me that I'm also pretty tolerant of a place's reality once the new shine wears off. I've lived in NY, San Diego, LA, NM, Philly, and Phoenix and have loved them all in different ways. It's also taught me that job security and family are my top criteria; everything else falls into place.

Of course, when you live in AZ, the grass truly IS greener everywhere else! But we have grown to like it here and are a bit reluctant to leave. Jobs are scarce in our line of work here, though, hence the evaluation of these other areas with better opportunities for financial security. Unfortunately there's no place that offers good job selection AND family for us... I like the outdoor culture in Den; it seems like a San Diego vibe transplanted to the mountains. I love hiking, snowboarding, cycling, etc.

Raleigh has more of a family/small town feel and better access within a day's drive to more culture and activities than you can do from Denver, which will likely become increasingly valuable as our kids get old enough for road trips.

The tough part is that Denver wins in the job category, and Raleigh is closer to family. So the debate rages on...

[Tri-Love]

Originally Posted by adams_aj

I haven't been here all that long, but people have been VERY nice and accommodating: natives or transplants. If you smile and move slowly in Denver, you'll get run over. .

If you think you'd get run over in Denver, imagine NY!

As for friendliness, my guess is the OP's opinion is the minority one. That said, since I am the transplant, I go out of my way to be friendly to ppl I encounter every day. If they are receptive, I may continue chatting. If they are not, I walk away knowing that I tried and I don't take it personally because we all have tough days.

One thing I have learned from life experience is that most often you get back what you put out.