Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Approaching people and asking for money in a parking lot is not OK. Ever. I *will* get defensive and pissy with any stranger who comes within 5 feet of me in one.
I don't give a crap if someone gets offended. There are places that can help people who truly need it. And if someone is out driving around asking people for money in parking lots, chances are good they don't really need it.
I'm not afraid of strangers. My kids aren't, either.
They just need to keep their distance in parking lots, on dark streets, etc.
I'll strike up a chat with a stranger in the grocery line. I don't assume all people are trying to harm me.
I've just had some peculiar run-ins over the years. Guy flashed a gun at me on Hillsborough St across from NCSU years ago.
I had one get irate and threaten me near the ATM by campus for refusing to believe that he was highly intoxicated and broke and driving to Rocky Mount to visit his sick mother.
And a woman wandering around Arboretum in Cary isn't really just looking for gas money (there is no gas station there).
I once had a guy in a parking lot off Old Wake Forest Rd try to catch up with me while I kept my car between us. I had my infant son with me. Claimed he was selling cards to benefit the blind.
Sorry. You don't startle a young woman with a newborn in a dark parking lot if you're just a nice guy.
Who does that?
People who think you're vulnerable.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
My point was that there is a tendency, in my experience, for people's points of view about things like perceived danger versus safety to be transmitted to their children, either directly or indirectly, either intentionally or unintentionally. I
There's also situational awareness, a necessary life skill. If it doesn't feel right, it *isn't* right. There is absolutely no paranoia in teaching that to kids. In fact, after confidence, it's the second most important thing I want to instill in my kids. I'm sure that the OP was acting more off of situational awareness than an irrational fear when you take their perspective on what happened.
I think Tom's perspective is refreshingly naive but not realistic. Maybe if Raleigh were a fraction of it's size, we could all keep our doors and windows unlocked and car windows down. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. I'm a guy, but I'd still be bothered by a lot of the scenarios mentioned in this thread. I drive a nice car that wasn't expensive when I bought it used, but people don't know that. I don't want someone pulling up to me at night, thinking they will get $20 from me because they think my nice car equals lots of money.
And I admit, my behavior during the day is different than it would be at night. And where I am driving also affects my decisions.
And when I was younger and owned a Miata convertible. . . well, let's just say I didn't drive it with the top down in bad neighborhoods. And I was younger and less cautious in those days.
This happened to me at a Lowe's Food in Wake Forest a few months ago with a woman pulling up her SUV and blocking me in the parking spot. She told me not to cuss her out and then asked for money for gas or something. I didn't feel threatened but it made me uncomfortable. I just told her I didn't have any cash as I use plastic everywhere. I didn't realize at the time that this was the latest scam.
I don't know about Raleigh but here in SE-Michigan we have Professional Begging Consortiums. The pan handlers actually work shifts and relieve each other at shift change. The person who is begging hands off their sign and cup to the person working the next shift.
It reminds me of cartoons I watched as a kid where the Sheep Dogs and Coyotes would punch-in and punch-out at the end of shift.
Anyone begging from an expensive SUV is not destitute.
This is the best lesson one can learn and one I've endeavored to teach my kids. If you offend an adult unintentionally, I will deal with it and straighten it out later on. Any reasonable adult will understand why you refused their ride or whatever. Better to offend someone and stay safe than appease them and get hurt or worse.
This happened to me in MD a year ago. Guy pulled up almost in tears, saying his kid was in the hospital and he needed gas money to get there, as he left his wallet somewhere. I was in a good mood, said what the heck, gave the guy 5 bucks thinking if he's lying, he's got bigger problems.
9 months later in a completely separate part of town 30min away....same guy pulls up with the exact same act, same story, same car, same emotion. I said no flat out and he drove away.
Point being - dont buy it folks, it's not real.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
